Try Again Tomorrow
by ElisaCollette
Summary: Tori has been missing for three years. She reappears in an unfortunate shape and it leaves her friends with many questions - What happened to her? Where do they go from here? And who will help her when she needs it the most? Jori Friendship.
1. You Found Me

**I'll Try Again Tomorrow**

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow."

Chapter 1: You Found Me

"Lost and insecure  
You found me, you found me  
Lying on the floor  
Surrounded, surrounded  
Why'd you have to wait?  
Where were you, where were you?  
Just a little late  
You found me, You found me." ~ The Fray

It was a beautiful spring day in California. The temperature was at a moderate 70 degrees and the sky was a beautiful shade of blue. Even Jade, in a slightly poor temper after one of the representatives from her record label had annoyed her, appreciated the brightness of the day. She had been recording for most of the morning and had walked out after a label big wig had refused to allow her to do a song – a song she had written – her way. In the past two years, she had given them two albums that had gone platinum and tours that had made them millions of dollars – the least they could do was to trust her judgment. Knowing that she still had all afternoon and evening without Beck, she had stopped at the grocery store, drug store, and ran several other unimportant errands.

She was walking into the lavish home she shared with Beck when her cell phone rang. Setting a bag filled with groceries on the counter, she saw it was Andre and answered. "Dude, you are in France – how much is this phone call costing you?"

"Jade – I just got a call from Cedars Sinai – the police brought Tori into the emergency room." Jade was silent but was already headed back out the door, her keys in hand. She understood the panic in Andre's voice; the news had caused her own blood pressure to spike.

More than three years had passed since anyone in their group of friends had seen or heard from Tori Vega. Her parents had died in a car accident a week after high school graduation. Even Jade had been speechless throughout that ordeal. Trina had sold the family home out from under her sister and moved to New York, claiming the east coast was better positioned to appreciate her talent. Tori had stayed in college for a three semesters before she dropped out and disappeared without explanation. Andre, Beck, and Cat searched for her. Robbie did what he could from his college in New York – but it wasn't much. After two days, Jade realized it wasn't a simple ploy for attention and added her assistance to the search.

They had spent over a year looking in every shelter and hospital – scouring every website and showing pictures to every person in every restaurant and bar. Beck and Andre both called the police station on a monthly basis, making sure they knew she was still missing – and that the case was still important to someone. Unsolved mysteries had done a short segment on Tori one year after her disappearance. Now she had resurfaced less than twenty miles from where she had gone missing.

"I'm her emergency contact – but I can't get a flight out until tomorrow."

"You need to finish that damn tour," Jade argued, buckling her seat-belt and starting her black Audi convertible. Her father's guilt had bought her the car for her college graduation. She still wasn't crazy about him – but she did love her car.

"I need to see Tori," Andre argued.

"I'll call you as soon as I know what's going on. Don't you dare get on a plane until I say otherwise." Jade knew the tour Andre was playing was a career maker. If he left part way through, he would potentially lose his chances for future success. Once Andre had agreed to her conditions, she hung up with him and called Beck, leaving him a message to meet her at the hospital. She remembered at the last minute to throw in a "don't worry, I'm fine." The drive was full of traffic and aggravation. It was drawn out, giving Jade plenty of time to worry about where Tori had been for the past three years. She was thankful she was alive – but now she was terrified to know what horror other than death could have possibly kept her away and out of contact for so long.

Walking into the Emergency Room with a confident click of her black heeled boots, Jade gave the nurse at registration Tori's name and was quickly whisked away down several hallways to the ICU. She took in a shaky breath – the ICU was never a good sign. The nurse introduced her to a doctor standing in the hallway, peering intently at an electronic tablet.

"Dr. Garrison, this is Jade West – she's here to see Miss Vega."

"Thank you, Laurie," the woman said kindly. Jade saw a flash of recognition; the woman knew who she was. Remaining professional, the doctor ignored the fact that she was an award-winning recording artist. Instead, she jumped right into the topic at hand. "Ms. West, how do you know Victoria?" She led Jade toward an empty waiting room and held the door open. She sat in a nearby chair, gesturing for Jade to do the same.

"Tori," she corrected the woman. "We're – friends," Jade said for lack of a better word. "We went through high school together – but she disappeared about three years ago – I haven't heard from her since. Andre Harris is her emergency contact – he's in France so he called and asked me to get here as soon as I could." Jade looked uncomfortably at their surroundings. "Is she alright? What happened? Can I see her? Do you know where she's been?" Usually, she was not a woman of many words – but nerves had melded her momentarily into a motor mouth.

The doctor smiled kindly. "Let's take those questions one at a time. The police can tell you a little more about where she's been." She paused. "Tori is in an induced coma right now. Her injuries were so severe and her mental state so – fragile – that she had to be put under to treat."

Jade could practically feel the reverberation from the words swimming through her mind, trying to find some place to settle and make sense. "What the hell happened?"

The doctor shook her head and Jade could see she was fighting tears. A stranger was fighting tears over whatever had happened to Tori – Jade could only imagine how terrible it truly was. "We don't know exactly what happened at this point – but Tori was found in the home of a man who is being charged with murder, attempted murder, kidnapping, imprisonment, torture, sexual assault, and a variety of other assault charges." Jade's heart fell into her stomach.

"Are you saying that she's been held prisoner for three years?"

"We won't know for certain until she wakes up and can tell us," Dr. Garrett answered judiciously. "But some of the scars are at least that old. So it's very likely, yes." Jade's fingers raised to rub her temples and she fought the lump forming her throat; it was unacceptable to believe that for the past three years, while she was attending classes, recording songs, and writing plays – while she was enjoying time with friends and the boy she loved – Tori was being tortured by an insane man.

"How did they find her?" Jade felt that asking direct question was going to keep her – at least momentarily – from unraveling.

"He had three women imprisoned in his home – one got away. She was able to lead the police back – and they rescued Tori."

"The other woman?"

"She was dead when they arrived," the doctor said apologetically. "When the police closed in, he injected the two remaining girls – Tori included – with lethal amounts of morphine. Tori's only alive because he missed her vein." Jade's face fell to her hands and she fought tears – she would not cry in front of this stranger.

Dr. Garrett gave her a few minutes before speaking again. "Does she have any family we can contact? I spoke with Mr. Harris briefly – but he's in Europe. He's the only emergency contact we have listed."

"I'll call her sister – but she's a bitch, so don't get your hopes up. Her parents were killed in an accident a few years ago – there's no one else," Jade said quickly. "Can I see her?"

The doctor nodded hesitantly. "Of course. We normally restrict to family in the ICU – but I think we can make this exception. I need to warn you – there is a lot of physical damage. We're treating as many of the lacerations and other injuries as we can – but it's going to be a long road back to health. She is breathing on her own, but her pressures are extremely low, so she'll remain in ICU until those stabilize." They walked together back toward the room.

Jade took three steps into the room. A wave of odors – blood, feces, urine, vomit – a very distinct mix of smells reserved for death – hit her suddenly and forced her to turn on her heel and land in the nearest bathroom. She hovered above the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach. Dr. Garrett waited patiently while she finished and handed her a bottle of water and a damp paper towel. "She needs you to be strong," the doctor reminded her simply. Jade tried not to scowl; she certainly didn't need this woman telling her what to do. She rinsed her mouth, flushed the toilet, and washed her hands.

Jade glared lightly at the doctor and walked purposefully back to the ICU and straight toward Tori's room. This time she took small breaths through her mouth, avoiding using her olfactory sense at all costs. Tori's long, dark curls were matted and stringy, her hairline caked with oil and what Jade thought was probably blood. Cuts, sores, and bruises could be seen on every visible surface of her once perfect skin. She had always been thin but now she was so emaciated that her skin looked to be stretched over bone. Jade pulled a chair to the side of the bed and sat down before taking Tori's hand in hers.

"We can discuss her treatment—"

"I'd rather wait for my husband," Jade answered honestly. The doctor nodded and moved toward the door.

"If you need anything, just push the nurse call button." Jade nodded. Once the doctor was gone, she took closer stock of her best frenemy. Tori's arrival at Hollywood Arts during their sophomore year had annoyed Jade because it was a reminder that she wasn't always going to be the best or the first choice. But it had also caused her to work harder, to reach further, and to eventually get exactly where she wanted to be. So, despite their differences and her incessant mocking, Jade did not hate Tori.

Perhaps that was why tears streamed down her cheeks as she sat back and watched the slight rise and fall of Tori's chest under the hideous hospital gown. Her perfectly manicured fingers remained intermingled with Tori's bruised and battered ones as she sat back and played the part of sentry.

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What do you think? Let me know. A warning for those who appreciate Jade and Tori as a couple – that is not the end game for the story. Jade and Beck are happily married – this is a story about a friendship – or even a familial relationship between Jade and Tori. Don't get me wrong – I love Jori stories! But this story is purely one of friendship and recovery. If you liked it – please share why – or what you are looking forward to knowing and discovering as the story continues. Thanks for reading!


	2. Home

Thank you to SeaIng, Sovereign Lord of Chaos, Ehh what's my pen name again, and LizMcGiz for reading and reviewing. It is always encouraging to know that others are enjoying the story as much as you are. Those who put the story on alert – thank you for reading! Please leave a review – let me know what you think, what you like about it, etc. Here is the second chapter – please enjoy!

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Chapter 2 – Home

Home is the place where, when you have to go there,  
They have to take you in.  
~Robert Frost, _The Death of the Hired Man_

Beck arrived close to midnight. Jade had ignored all of the nurses who had indicated she couldn't stay in the ICU overnight and had camped out in the extremely uncomfortable chair next to Tori's bed. He lifted her into his arms and sat in the chair, curling his wife into his lap. "Who does something like this?" She asked him, her lips pressed close to his ear.

"I wish I knew, babe," he said softly, hugging her tighter. They were both awake for most of the night and finally gave up any pretense of sleeping around five when Beck disappeared to find coffee before Jade killed any of the nice, cheerful nurses.

It was almost seven in the morning when the doctor returned to Tori's room and spent time examining her wounds and checking on a variety of machines. She asked Jade and Beck to come to her office and they obliged. Jade was torn; she understood why they weren't having the conversation in the room, but she hated to leave Tori right after she had been found.

"She's in good hands," Beck reminded Jade, putting his hand against the small of her back and leading her toward the doctor's office. Once they were seated, the woman immediately began recounting Tori's predicament.

"Jade didn't want me to repeat this twice – so she asked me to wait for you," the doctor said gently. Beck nodded and bit back a smile. What the doctor didn't know was that Jade had already scoured Tori's file and was highly aware of everything that was about to be divulged. She didn't like to be surprised; especially in front of strangers. "When Tori was brought it, she was immediately treated for a morphine overdose. Once she was stable, we starting treating her wounds. The ones we are most concerned about are the ligature cuts around her wrists, thighs, and ankles. They've gone so deep in some place that she was within millimeters or hitting a major artery. We're treating them – but we may need to do skin grafts if they don't start healing on their own."

Jade had seen the places where Tori had been bound – and how deep and raw the grooves were. She'd been in the room when the nurse had come in to change the bandages the night before. She could only imagine how hard Tori had fought to cause that kind of damage. Beck understood too; his hand gripped hers more firmly.

"We've done x-rays and found that several bones had been broken and set improperly. She'll have a limp on the left side – but we can treat that with physical therapy. "

"When will she wake up?" Beck asked.

"When the drugs are out of her system," Dr. Garrett answered. "We're stepping them down so it happens slowly. Otherwise, it will be too great a shock to her system." The doctor spent the next thirty minutes outlining the plans for treatment once Tori awoke from the coma. It left both Beck and Jade with feelings of anxiety and anger. Tori was found, but she certainly wasn't getting her life back anytime soon.

Outside Tori's room, Beck and Jade stood against the window and talked quietly. He believed Trina needed to be contacted immediately while Jade felt Trina had made her decision years ago as to whether or not she wanted to be a sister. Eventually, the brunette relented. She promised to call Trina and Cat if Beck took care of keeping Robbie and Andre up to date.

"Are you going to the recording studio today?" Beck asked, his hand rubbing gently up and down her arm.

"It seems pretty insignificant right now," Jade answered. "I make my own schedule – so no, not today. But you have to go to work."

"Yeah," Beck answered, running his free hand though his hair. "The director wasn't thrilled when I mentioned I'd be late today. I'll try and get back as soon as I can."

"Just make those phone calls for me – and I'll keep you up to date. There's nothing you can do here anyway." Beck thought to point out that the same could be said for her, but he knew that would result in an argument or hurt feelings; and they certainly didn't have time for either. He leaned down, kissed his wife deeply, and dropped another kiss at the top of her head for good measure.

Once Beck was gone, Jade walked into the room and sat next to Tori for a few minutes before picking up her pear phone. She informed Tori's nurse that she would be right back and walked outside to a cluster of gardens and benches. Phones were forbidden in the ICU.

The phone rang four times before Trina answered. "Hello, Trina speaking," she gushed.

"It's Jade," she said, her voice angry.

"What do you want?"

"The police found your sister, in case you care."

"Of course I care, silly," Trina chirped. "Where is she? Did she decide to check out Europe – I thought that's what she might have done."

"Trina! Shut up! She wasn't traveling. She's hurt. She was kidnapped and held hostage for three years. You need to get your ass on a plane right now."

"I can't do that. I have my show—"

"She is your sister," Jade seethed. "She needs you right now. I don't give a damn about your show."

"Tori has never needed me," Trina informed her, a hint of sadness bubbling through the chipper façade. "I have to go. Tell Tori I said hey." Jade's blood boiled as the line went dead. She did breathing exercises as she walked back to the ICU, intent upon not bringing negative feelings into contact with Tori. Jade read a lot. Much more than most people would expect or give her credit for. She'd read enough about people in comas to know that they could feel and hear and detect – and she was determined Tori would not have any more stress that she was already dealing with.

Later that morning, Jade was reading a play aloud to Tori when her nurse entered the room with another woman. "Jade," the nurse said with a smile, "this is Katie, one of our nursing students working on the floor. She's going to help get Tori cleaned up a bit more." The nurse left to do her rounds and Jade set the book aside and watched with hawk eyes as Katie moved around the room.

She had a small basket with her, from which she pulled a comb. She laid out a clean cloth on the over-the-bed table. "She has lice," Katie said apologetically. "They used a dry shampoo to kill them in the ER, but we still need to get them out." She sat on the edge of Tori's bed and gently pulled all of her hair to far side. She used the extremely thin comb to go through each layer of hair and remove the tiny nits that were unfortunately difficult to see with Tori's hair color.

"Do you mind if I read?" Jade asked. "I've heard a lot of people say patients in comas can hear what's going on – so I thought I should do something."

"I don't mind at all," Katie answered. "I'll be here for a while."

It took Katie close to three hours to go through all of Tori's hair. Jade had finished the play and moved onto a second. Once Katie was finished with the combing, she used a dry shampoo and brushed Tori's hair until it shone. She carefully washed Tori's face, moving gingerly around the wounds but scrubbing hard enough to truly get through the dirt and oil. Once she was finished, she reapplied antibiotic to the scratches and cuts and dabbed medicated Chap Stick onto Tori's lips.

"Thank you," Jade said softly when she finished.

"No problem," Katie answered. "She does look much better. And with time, she'll improve even more." Jade nodded. It was significantly easier to look at Tori once she looked clean and fresh.

Tori was in a coma for three days. Jade spent a majority of her time in the hospital room, reading books, working on screen plays, and writing songs. She had brought her portable keyboard and played softly as she worked. Occasionally she would play a song from high school, hoping the familiarity would get through to Tori. Beck came by as often as possible but since he was working as the lead on his first feature film, he was often on set. It took two days for Cat to request time from her musical, get a plane from New York, and arrive in Los Angeles. She had taken a taxi directly from the airport to the hospital.

She stood with Jade next to the hospital bed, her lips quivering as she fought tears. She played nervously with her hands, wringing them and picking at her once-perfect pink manicure. Tiny noises, something between a cry and a moan, were caught in her throat. "What happened to her?" she asked, sadly, begging Jade for answers.

"We don't really know," Jade managed to say. She allowed Cat a hug, knowing that was what the smaller girl needed. She knew more than she was saying – but nothing that Cat could handle.

"Is she going to be okay?" Cat asked into Jade's shoulder.

"Of course," Jade promised. "She's home now." Jade pulled another chair up to the bedside for Cat and they talked quietly. Jade was doing most of the talking, as Cat was barely able to concentrate beyond Tori. Her eyes kept scanning the brunette, trying to decide what she as seeing. Tiny cries and sighs emitted from her lips as Jade peppered her with questions about her job, her apartment, and her life in New York.

Cat had only been in the room for an hour when Tori's eyes started to blink open for the first time in days. Jade, sitting on the right side of the bed, grabbed Tori's hand and watched for more signs. "Tori? It's Jade – and Cat. Can you open your eyes?" Eventually she did and Jade could see the panic and pain emanating from her expression. "Cat, go get a nurse," Jade said, partially for the need of a medical professional – but mostly to get Cat out of the room. The redhead scampered away. "Tori," Jade said softly. "It's alright. You're safe here." Tori tried to sit up, tried to jump out of the bed – but Jade was faster, holding her by both shoulders. "Calm down," she ordered. "You have to calm down before the nurse gets here – or they're going to knock you out again. You need to stay still and take slow breaths – do you understand?" Tori nodded and Jade sat back down, her hands leaving Tori's shoulders and settling for holding her left hand.

"Deep breath," Jade reminded her. Tori did as she was told as Jade walked her though several breathing exercises. She was much calmer by the time Cat returned with the nurse on call and Dr. Garrett.

Jade was shocked when the doctor arrived and started asking her questions. Tori's words came in slow, slurred stammers that were barely recognizable as a human voice – let alone the voice belonging to Victoria Vega.

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Thank you for reading! Please leave a review - let me know what you think!


	3. A Long and Painful Fight

Thank you to xpsychxssjs, 2007gracee, and Punkboy for reviewing chapter 2. And thanks to Sovereign Lord of Chaos and SeaIng for reviewing both chapters so far! I hope everyone enjoys chapter 3.

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Chapter 3 – A Long and Painful Fight

"Heaven bent to take my hand  
And lead me through the fire  
Be the long awaited answer  
To a long and painful fight"

~ from "Fallen" by Sarah McLachlan

Jade and Cat sat to the side while the doctor spent a good ten minute examining Tori's throat with a variety of lights and scopes.

"Why can't she talk?" Cat asked innocently.

"It could be any number of things," the doctor said calmly. "Don't panic. We'll have to do more testing – but it is very likely reversible." Jade knew there was more that the doctor wasn't sharing; Cat was the reason. People didn't like to talk about dark and scary things in front of the tiny redhead.

"Cat, can you go and call Beck and Andre and Robbie and tell them that Tori's awake?" Jade asked. "You have to go to the front lobby to use your cell phone. Make sure to tell Robbie and Andre about your trip from New York."

"Kay kay," Cat said happily, skipping away. Jade closed the door and took a seat next to the bed.

"That will keep her busy for a while," Jade said. "Now what is wrong with her voice?" The doctor pulled a chair close to the other side of the bed and faced Tori. It was only polite to speak to the person being discussed.

"Whatever caused the bruising on your neck probably caused a lot of internal bruising. That would make it painful to speak. That should go away with time." She paused. Tori stared at her, waiting to hear an answer – she knew that wasn't all of it. "As for the stutter, it could be psychological – undue stress can cause stuttering. " She paused again, her yes locking with Tori's. "Or it could be a result of the electrocution."

"What?" Jade asked sharply.

"When Katie was working on your hair," the doctor said, ignoring Jade and focusing on Tori, "she found several burn marks. Did he use electric shock on you?" Tori nodded, her teeth worrying the bottom of her lip. "Well," the doctor said briskly, "no matter what caused it, we can try to correct it with therapy. Do you know how long it has been since you could talk without pain?" Tori shook head, eyes glassy with tears. "That's okay," the doctor said, "we will figure it out." She could see she was agitating Tori, so she moved on.

"Tomorrow, your physical therapist is going to come in to visit and do a quick exam to figure out what the course of treatment will be. The faster we get you out of this bed, the better." Tori simply stared at her. "Later this afternoon, Isabelle Greeley, our best psychiatrist, is going to stop in to see you."

"Do you have any questions?"

Jade handed her a tablet and pen from the bedside table. Tori concentrated but couldn't get the pen to cooperate. Eventually, Jade helped her get her fingers around it and supported her hand as she wrote. In loopy, squiggled, very-un-Tori-like letters, she spelled out her question.

"How did I get here?"

"There is a detective outside who wants to speak with you – and I'm going to let her answer that one. Any medical questions right now? " Tori shook her head. "Alright. I'm going to leave you to the detective. But if you need anything – you hit the call button and the nurses will find me. Sound okay?" Tori nodded. When the doctor left, she looked at Jade and pointed toward the water pitcher. Jade filled a cup and plunked in a straw, holding it steady while the other girl drank.

They were joined in less than a minute by a woman Jade had already spoken to several times. Jessica George was a federal agent who specialized in crimes against women. She had been called in because one of the kidnapped girls was from over the state line, making the case a federal instead of a local one.

"Hi, Tori," she said pleasantly. She held out her hand and Tori took it gingerly. "I'm Supervisory Special Agent Jessica George with the FBI. Please call me Jessica. I'm glad you're awake. How are you feeling?" Tori grimaced, causing both Jade and Jessica to smile. "I can understand that. Let's get to the most important point – the bastard who did this to you – he's behind bars right now."

Tears sprang to Tori's eyes and she buried her face in her hands, trying to hide them. She couldn't control it – no matter how hard she tried. The sobs overtook her overly thin frame and she was surprised when she felt Jade's cool, slim fingers gently rubbed her back and neck. "He can't hurt you anymore," Jade promised softly. Once Tori was able to settle down, she picked up the notepad she had written on before and offered it to Jessica. She read the question and nodded.

"One of the other girls escaped and led the police back to the house where he was keeping you. You've been here for three days."

"How long there?" Tori wrote in her clumsy hand. The agent looked at Jade, who she thought would be a better person to drop the bomb.

"Just over three years," Jade said softly, her fingers wrapping around Tori's free hand. Tori's expression crumpled and the tears came again, racking her overly thin frame with spasms. She sobbed until she choked and vomited. Jade was quick enough with the emesis basin to save them both from the fallout. Despite Jade's reassurances and calming words, Tori flew into a panic and couldn't come down from it. The machine monitoring her heart began to beep and a nurse entered the room with quick strides. She took a syringe from her pocket and stuck it into the IV line.

"Tori, we're going to give you something to help you relax. It'll just take a minute."

"No," Tori cried painfully, but that was as far as she got before the Valium took over and her eyes grew heavy.

"It's okay," Jade promised, holding her hand and guiding her back into a comfortable position on the bed. "It's okay." She knew it as a lie. Nothing was okay. But Tori was alive and awake. And that was better than the alternative.

While she slept off the tranquilizer, Tori was moved. Since the ICU was no longer a necessity, she was moved to a private room in the neurology ward. Dr. Garrett explained it was because of the trauma and stress to her nervous system that she was on that particular floor. Jade didn't care as long as it was away from the stench and constant noise and commotion of the ICU. Beck arrived around eight that evening to find Cat asleep in Jade's lap on a love seat in the corner of the room. He pulled a chair next to his wife and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Hi," he whispered against her lips.

"Hi," she responded, exhaustion seeping through her voice.

"Take Cat home for the night," Beck suggested. "I don't work tomorrow – I'll stay with Tori – and call you if anything changes."

"No," Jade argued.

"Yes," Beck responded softly, his hand falling to rub the back of her neck. "I saw Dr. Garrett in the hallway. She said Tori won't wake up until tomorrow morning. " He paused before adding, "Please."

"Fine," Jade answered. They kissed once more before she shook Cat awake. The tiny redhead bounced quickly from asleep to awake, her eyes alert and clear.

"Is Tori awake?" she wanted to know immediately.

"No," Jade answered. "She'll be asleep until tomorrow. We're going home for tonight – Beck is going to stay here."

"Kay Kay," Cat said simply. She stood and walked over to the bed, dropping a kiss on Tori's forehead before going to the door and picking up her bright pink suitcase. Jade accepted a strong hug from Beck before following Cat and picking up her own bag and car keys.

Jade hadn't been home for more than a few minutes since Tori had been found. However, the luxury of having a cleaning company meant that her home was as spotless as she liked it. Locking the door behind them and setting the alarm, Jade went into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of water for herself and a bottle of sugar-free juice from Cat's reserves.

"Do you want something to eat?" Cat shook her head; she was tired and troubled – never a good combination. "I'm going to shower and try to sleep. Do you need anything?" Cat shook her head again and watched as the brunette ascended the back stairwell to the second floor. After a moment alone in the kitchen, Cat followed and continued on to the third floor where she had her very own suite.

When Beck and Jade had originally purchased the house, Cat was still living with them in California. So, a bedroom, sitting room, bathroom, and walk-in closet were all hers. It made traveling from the east to west coast much easier – she barely had to pack. She showered, changed into a pair of pink cotton pajamas, and crawled under the perfectly laundered covers. Twenty minutes passed and her eyes never once closed. Carefully, she crept out of bed, her favorite stuffed bear under her arm, and padded softly down the stairs to Jade's room. She knocked on the door and waited for permission before she entered.

Jade was in bed, the soft purple sheets pulled up over her black cotton pajamas. The lights were out, but there was enough light from outside to illuminate her form. "Can I come in?" Cat asked, her voice small – almost lost in the large master bedroom.

"Just for tonight," Jade agreed, pulling back the covers on Beck's side of the bed. Cat clambered underneath, the teddy bear snuggled under one arm as she curled against her best friend. Jade was awake for most of the night but eventually Cat's soft, regular breathing and the slight thud of her heartbeat lulled the brunette into a much needed repose.

The next morning, Cat woke to an empty bed and carried her teddy bear down the stairs and into the kitchen where, to her excitement, she found Jade making her favorite – chocolate chip pancakes. Once they sat down with the sugary breakfast, Cat was fully awake and as chatty as usual.

After fielding questions about everything from the weather to how she got the pulp out of the orange juice, Jade was not prepared for insightfulness on Cat's part. "Who hurt Tori?"

Jade paused mid-sip of her coffee and set the mug down on the kitchen table. They'd never told Cat that someone had hurt Tori; only that she was sick and needed a lot of time and help to get better. But despite her innocence and general lack of common sense, Cat was not stupid.

"A bad man," Jade answered simply. "He's in jail. He can't hurt anyone else."

"Okay," Cat answered, before rolling into a story about how she'd gone through an entire Broadway show without her shoes. Jade shook her head and tried to keep up.

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Thank you for reading chapter 3 – I hope you liked it. With 24 story alerts for the first two chapters, do you think we can make it to at least 12 reviews for chapter three? Challenge issued :-) What do you like about the story? What do you hope to see in the future of the story? Is Jade in character? I'm trying to bring out a more mature side without taking away what makes her a fascinating character. Let me know how that's going.


	4. Not What They Take Away

Thank you everyone who has reviewed. If you have been reading and not reviewing – please take a moment to do so – let me know what you think. Hope everyone is having a great weekend – enjoy Chapter 4!

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Chapter 4 – "Not What They Take Away"

"Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts - it's what you do with what you have left." ~Hubert Humphrey

Sunday was Cat's last day in town. She needed to get back to New York before the Monday evening performance. Beck thought it was important she have time alone with Tori so he dragged Jade to the hospital cafeteria to buy two cups of barely passable coffee.

"We haven't talked since all of this started," Beck said once they were seated next to one another in the corner of a booth. "What are you thinking?"

"I just don't understand how a human being can do that to another human being. I understand being mean. I'm mean most of the time. But being cruel and actually hurting someone – "

"You are not mean," Beck argued. "You are a good person. And the guy that did this to Tori – he is not a good person. It's that simple." They both knew it wasn't that simple, but the subject was dropped. Theoretical conversation became practical planning. "I think I convinced Andre to stay in Europe and finish his tour. I promised him we'd Skype with him tonight at 10 – it'll be 7 in the morning over there." Jade nodded; she hoped that could all stay awake that long; it has been an exhausting few days.

There was a comfortable silence for several minutes before Beck brought up a subject he'd been pondering. "How are her hospital bills being paid?" He asked, his eyes focused on his wife, who was doing her very best to look at every other inch of their surroundings. Meeting his eyes was not in her short term plans. He got the gist immediately – and it was as he imagined. "I don't mind if you're paying them – but we should look into alternatives. I'm sure there is some kind of government program – "

"And then she'll have to share a room with some gross person and not have the best possible doctors," Jade argued. "We have the money."

"We do," Beck agreed. "Do you think – maybe – it was something we could have discussed first?"

"I guess," Jade answered sullenly. "Sorry." The apology was a bit flippant but Beck knew there was sincerity behind it.

"You don't have to be sorry. You're trying to do the right thing," Beck said softly, putting an arm around her shoulder. "Have you spoken to Trina again?"

"I tried once – she said no."

"You need to try again. Tori needs her family."

"Then you call," Jade answered. "I'm done with that whack job."

"I'll try again – see if I have any luck," Beck responded before resting his chin on Jade's head.

"If she comes to town – she is staying in a hotel," Jade responded firmly. Beck chuckled and hugged her closer. They sat and talked about normal things – his work, her work – until just before lunch.

When they returned to Tori's room, they came bearing food and the four friends ate together – it was as pleasant an experience as could be created in a hospital room. Cat was phenomenally good at keeping spirits high as she prattled on about her musical and her litany of friends in New York. A little after one, Beck announced it was time for Cat to say her goodbyes. The redhead, who had been sitting next to Tori on the hospital bed, hugged her carefully and kissed her on the cheek.

"I'll come back next month," Cat promised. "I get five says off in a row." Tori smiled and grasped Cat's hands.

"Love you," she said softly.

"Don't talk – I know it hurts you. But I love you too, Tori." Cat hugged her one more time and crossed the room to throw her arms around Jade, who gave a paltry effort to feign annoyance. Eventually and gave up the pretense, stood, and wrapped her arms around the small redhead.

"Be careful. Do you know you have all of your tickets and everything you need?" Cat grinned and pecked Jade on the cheek.

"You gave it all to me this morning," Cat reminded her. Beck walked Cat to the lobby of the hospital and made sure she got to her cab headed for the airport before returning to Tori's room.

Thanks to her desperation to see her best friend for the first time in years, Tori was still awake at ten when Beck contacted Andre on Skye by way of his PearPad. Beck placed it in its holder and set it onto the over-the-bed table. It gave Andre a complete view of Tori in the bed and Jade in the chair to her right.

"Hey, girl," Andre said tremulously, his best acting skills unable to compensate for the pain and joy of seeing her again. Tori waved and blew him a kiss. She wiped tears from her eyes and reached for the white board she'd been using.

"I missed you," she wrote, showing it to the camera. It took every ounce of his reserve not to cry.

"I missed you too, Tori. I'm so happy you're home. How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay," she wrote.

"Well, I'll be home as soon as I can – I'm sorry I wasn't around when they found you." Tori took a moment to scribble something before showing him the board.

"I want you to finish your tour," it said in very clear letters. Jade didn't even try to hide her smirk. Beck shook his head at her from across the room, but he too had his lips turned up in a small smile.

"Ah, so Jade got to you?" Andre asked. "Tori – the tour doesn't matter."

"It does," Tori wrote. She had to write it in two parts, but eventually she told him – "I am so proud of you. And I can't wait to see you – after the tour." She tried to glare at him lightly but it came out as a smile. One of the first smiles they'd seen.

"Alright," Andre answered. "But don't let Jade give you any trouble."

"Never," Tori wrote, showing it to him with a wry smile. Jade scoffed and sat back in her chair.

"You're both lucky I'm here," she said dryly. "So stop poking fun at my expense. Andre – say goodbye and get to work. She needs to sleep. In case you can't do the math – it's late here." Tori blew Andre a kiss and wrote – "break a leg – I love you."

"Love you too, Tori. Take care of yourself. Goodnight Beck and Jade."

"Night, man," Beck said.

"Good night," Jade said simply. Beck logged out of the chat and excused himself to find sustenance. "You alright?" Jade asked, handing Tori several tissues from a nearby box. Tori nodded, wiping at her eyes. "His tour is just for three more weeks."

"I missed three years," Tori wrote on the board once she'd calmed herself.

"You can't think like that," Jade said solemnly. "You've gotta think about all the time you have left – and there's a lot of it." She paused and her voice gained humor once more. "Now go to sleep before I find some nurse to come and knock you out." Tori rolled her eyes but allowed Jade to help her into a more comfortable position. Before Beck returned from his errands, Tori was sleeping.

Monday was one trying event after another. Tori had slept fitfully the night before, waking herself and Jade several times with the screaming and thrashing that accompanied her nightmares. On Monday morning, when Dr. Garrett said this was a positive sign, Jade stared longingly at the scissors on a nearby tray and thought about what they could do to the doctor – who had clearly enjoyed a full nights' rest. But, according to the good doctor, it meant that Tori was moving forward from the zombie-like stupor that malnutrition, dehydration, and drugs had put her into. Tori also looked less than amused at the doctor's reassurances. After an unappetizing breakfast that practically had to be shoved down her throat by an annoyed Jade, Tori was dragged off to be subjected to a variety of tests her doctor and physical therapist had ordered.

Jade, in the meantime, was working on the insurance issue. After her less-than-detailed conversation with Beck, she'd realized he was right. To a point. Not that she would admit it out loud, but she was going to do something about it. So, her goal for the day was to get Tori covered under public welfare – and then to make up the difference between mediocre and stellar care with her own checkbook. Jade did not like dealing with state employees. They were all idiots.

By the time she returned to Tori's room that afternoon, she was livid. Tori's eyes widened in slight alarm as she perceived the anger rolling from Jade's expression. "People are stupid," Jade said in a shaky tone.

"Any reason?" Tori asked, with the aid of her trusty whiteboard.

"No," Jade said stubbornly, realizing she didn't want to discuss the insurance issues with Tori. "Do you know where your birth certificate would have ended up?"

"With Trina?" Tori wrote, shrugging her shoulders. "I need my glasses too." Jade sighed and nodded; that would probably be helpful. Now that she wasn't spending most of her time sleeping, being able to see clearly would be a benefit.

"I'll see what I can do. How did the tests go?" Tori made a face and shrugged her shoulders. She clearly didn't want to talk about it; Jade didn't push. "What's up for this afternoon?"

"Shrink," Tori wrote simply.

"What time?"

"Three." Jade decided to leave Tori to take a nap while she searched for the birth certificate and glasses; it would hopefully give her enough time to get back by the end of Tori's first official session with the psychologist. She couldn't imagine how it could possibly go well. She explained her plan to Tori – without explaining her reasons for wanting to be back – and set off for the parking lot. On her way, she dialed Trina Vega.

It rang and eventually went to voicemail; Jade knew she was being ignored. Climbing behind the wheel of her car, Jade spoke as evenly as possible. "Trina Vega. You stop being a complete bitch and call me back in the next ten minutes or I'm going to come to the east coast and make your life a living hell." It made her feel better to take her anger out on someone who deserved it. Still sitting in the parking lot, she texted Andre – asking if he knew where all of Tori's belongings had gone.

Trina called her back in three minutes. "I could turn this message over to the police and have you arrested for threatening me."

"Go ahead," Jade answered. "But first – where is Tori's stuff?"

"How should I know?"

"You are her sister," Jade reminded her impatiently. "Where did you put her stuff when she disappeared? I know you're not still paying for the apartment. And where is her birth certificate? It would have been in your parents' house – or maybe in a bank security deposit box somewhere. Do you know where?"

"Andre put everything into storage, I think," Trina answered. "I don't know where the papers are – my parents stuff is in storage with Tori's stuff – she wanted it. I didn't."

"Who has the key?"

"How should I know?" Jade hung up before Trina could continue her thought. Andre had answered her quickly – and told her just where to find the key to the storage facility. She thanked him and left the parking structure, heading toward her own home to find Andre's spare key. Two stops later, she was in a fairly large storage locker a few blocks from where Tori had been living in college. Andre had labeled everything, so it was simple to find her glasses in a box that said "Bedroom – Nightstand." The birth certificate and social security card would take more luck.

After two hours of searching, she found the documents in a fireproof lock box inside an old trunk that also held good silver and hand-sewn table cloths. She returned to the hospital in time to pass a doctor leaving Tori's room. A nurse was in the room, taking Tori's vitals. Jade looked at her questioningly and the woman said – "the doctor ordered a sedative. She just fell to sleep." Jade nodded and set her bag on the floor.

"How long will she be out?"

"A few hours," the nurse answered. True to her word, Tori began to wake three hours later when Beck was arriving with dinner that was clearly better than the typical hospital fare. Since Tori needed desperately to gain weight and she did nothing more than pick at what was sent to her room, the doctors and nurses didn't argue too much when Beck or Jade brought in food from her favorite restaurants.

Jade and Beck tried to keep a conversation going about his new movie but Tori was clearly in no mood to have company. She lay down soon after she'd eaten and refused any attempts at engagement. Eventually, Jade gave up and dropped a kiss on her forehead, reminding her that Beck was staying that evening and she would return in the morning.

After walking Jade to her car, Beck returned to Tori to find that the brunette had been crying. He sat in a chair near the bed and pulled it closer, leaning forward until their eyes met. "I can't imagine how hard today was," he said, referring to her first session with the therapist. "But remember that every day you're alive and with the people you love – it's one more day he loses. Don't let him take any more of your life." He wrapped his arms around her and allowed her to cry herself to sleep.

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Thanks again for reading! Let me know what you thought. Coming up in chapter 5 - Tori finally questions Jade about why she's being so nice, a few legalities arise, and Trina becomes even less likable.


	5. Not Words, But Meanings

Thank you so much to StarrySkies, EmmaRose58, SW, SeaIng, americanhoney139, SkylerPhoenix, SLC, Xpsychxssjs, and Ehh what's my pen name again - for reviewing the last chapter.

Two chapters in two days? This is completely abnormal for me – but I thought that since it was done, I'd post it. This chapter is particularly long because it is a complicated one – but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Let me know if Trina gets any worse for you in this chapter…

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Chapter 5 – Not Words, But Meanings

"The language of friendship is not words but meanings." ~Henry David Thoreau

When Jade walked into the hospital the next morning, she took the paperwork she'd found in the storage locker to the case worker who had been – supposedly – helping her with Tori's situation. After an hour of biting back sarcasm and wishing she could scream, Jade was on her way to Tori's room. The unhappy patient was in physical therapy so Jade sat on the loveseat and pulled out her laptop, planning to work on a screenplay. She was in the midst of her own creation when Tori was returned to the room, her face pink from exertion and her disposition clearly sour.

"Someone doesn't look happy," Jade said in a sing-song voice. Tori glared at her in response. The orderly wheeling her chair placed her next to the bed, lifted her onto, and left quickly – he had already had a run in with Jade and did not wish a repeat. A nurse appeared quickly to reattach Tori to a variety of machines. "We'll have lunch to you in about an hour. Do you need anything else?" Tori shook her head.

"How'd it go?" Jade asked, peering up at Tori again once the nurse was gone. The other girl shrugged her shoulders and rolled carefully onto her side. She looked at Jade and pressed her fingers gently to her throat.

"W-w-why are you here?" She asked, stumbling painfully over the words. Jade knew she wasn't asking about that day in general – she was asking about the entire situation.

"Would you like me to leave?" Jade asked calmly, folding her hands on top of her laptop and looking directly at the girl in the hospital bed. Tori shook her head. "Then don't worry about it. We're not in high school anymore." Tori weighed the words carefully and accepted them for the moment; she was too tired to go into it any further.

After lunch, Tori had her glasses perched on her nose and was trying to concentrate on a book she'd loaded onto the PearPad Beck had given her. It was Little House in the Big Woods – a child's book – but her brain wouldn't allow for anything complex. Besides, it was a comforting choice – something she'd read dozens of times as a child. Jade was concentrating deeply on her work. Both women were surprised when a knock sounded at the door. They were faced with a woman in her late forties dressed in a business suit and wearing a no-nonsense expression, calmed only slightly by her small smile.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Vega," she said, stepping into the room. "I'm Rosalie Forester – one of the administrators here at the hospital." Tori smiled and gave a half wave in greeting. "May we speak in private?" Jade looked at Tori, who nodded. She excused herself. The administrator pulled a chair to Tori's bedside and sat, her hands crossed over the folder on her lap. "Ms. Vega, once your case came to my attention – I wanted to make certain you were aware of your rights and options." Tori raised an eyebrow, not certain where this was going. "Because of your current situation, it would be in your best interest to name a Power of Attorney. It would be a person of your choosing who would make medical, financial, and legal decisions if you're unable."

"I can make my own decisions," she wrote on her board.

"It would protect you in the case that you are unable to do so. You still have a long road to recovery. At this stage, if you were mentally or emotionally incapacitated, your sister – as next of kin – would legally be able to make decisions on your behalf. If that's not what you want – then you need to name a power of attorney."

"Can I think about it?" Tori wrote. The woman nodded.

"Of course. I'll check back with you tomorrow. If you decide to do it, I'll have one of the hospital lawyers bring the paperwork." Tori nodded. "Your doctors and nurses say you're making great progress. I'm happy to hear that."

"Thanks," Tori wrote in answer. She watched as the woman left and then sat back to think. She didn't want anyone else making decisions for her; especially after being held prisoner for three years. She wanted to make her own choices. But if it came down to the wire - and she was unable to speak on her own behalf – did she really want Trina calling the shots? It hurt her that her sister hadn't appeared. She had been in the hospital for six days – Cat had made it from New York – why couldn't her own sister?

When Jade reappeared, she handed Tori a strawberry milkshake before taking her own coffee and pulling a chair close. She kicked her feet onto the bed and cocked her head to the side. "What did the formidable suit lady want?"

"To talk about money," Tori lied in writing. Jade raised an eyebrow.

"You don't need to worry about that."

"You can't pay my bills," Tori responded. Jade smirked.

"I can," she answered. "But I won't – well, not totally." She explained to Tori what she'd been doing and how she was rushing the papers through to get her covered under public assistance. "But I am covering the difference for a private room," Jade asserted.

"No."

"Yes. You may like to be in the same room with gross strangers – but I don't. I'm not budging on the issue." Tori was too tired to argue – and she knew she needed to save up energy for other upcoming battles. This one could wait.

Tori was troubled by the Power of Attorney issue for the rest of the evening and – for the second evening in a row – she was terrible company. Eventually, Jade decided to take a walk and promised to return with the decadent chocolate she'd discovered in the main gift shop. Once she was gone, Tori pulled out her PearPad and quickly navigated to a document she'd saved. It explained what the hospital administrator had told her about needed a Power of Attorney. Beck read over it quickly and handed it back to Tori.

"What do you think?" He asked.

"It's a scary thought." She admitted in writing. "I don't want someone else to make decisions for me."

"But if it comes to that – is Trina the one you want to be the decision maker?" Beck asked without judgment. Tori thought about it – she simply wasn't sure. It had been too long since she'd seen her sister and too much had happened in the interim. Tori had always been the strong one – the independent one – the reliable one – of the two sisters. She'd never before had to depend on Trina – she wasn't sure she wanted to start when she was at her weakest.

"I know you're still uneasy about Jade – but she would be a good person to talk to. She knows a lot more about this kind of stuff than I do," Beck said. Tori's brow wrinkled in confusion. "She's been Cat's guardian since she turned 18," he explained.

"Why?" Tori was stunned and confused – since when did Cat have – or need – a guardian.

"Cat's parents tried to have her committed just before she turned 18 – it probably would have landed her in an institution indefinitely. Jade stalled them until she turned 18 but they were still able to declare her incompetent. The only way to keep her out of an institution was to convince a judge to name Jade Cat's guardian."

"But she lives by herself in New York," Tori wrote.

"She does," Beck agreed. "But Jade is still responsible for her finances – her medical care – the important stuff. We hired a woman who cleans for Cat and cooks for her five days a week – and keeps an eye on her since we can't be there. In all, she probably doesn't need a guardian anymore – but it's a really complicated system to get out of." Tori looked at him with an ominous expression. "But Power of Attorney is not nearly as serious as having a guardian."

Tori didn't sleep much that night – she kept having visions of Trina standing over her with a pillow in her hands. She was certain it was the medicine – but it was an unsettling image. The next morning, she fought her way thought physical therapy and her session with her therapist. She also had a new session with a speech therapist and who made her go through a variety of hearing and vocal tests. By the time her sessions and appointments were over, she was exhausted. But she also had a plan to put into action.

She and Jade were sitting in her room – Jade working on a screenplay and Tori pretending to attempt to nap. "I'm sorry to ask," Tori typed on her pear phone – "but can you find my pink teddy bear?" The pear phone Beck had brought to her made life much easier despite her inability to comfortably talk.

"Right now?" Jade asked, raising an eyebrow at the text Tori had sent her. Tori nodded and Jade sighed. "When you are feeling better, we will have words," Jade promised, her expression one of faux warning. Tori smiled and shook her head before sending a "thank you," to Jade.

Once the darker brunette was gone, Tori picked up the telephone. She found the number she'd copied from Beck's phone and dialed. She held her fingers against her throat – it was the only way she could talk without excruciating pain.

"Hello?" Trina said, always excited to see an unknown number pop up on her phone. "Trina speaking."

"T-t-trina?" It took Tori a moment to stutter out the name, but it was eventually out there, hanging between them like a grenade on the verge of explosion.

"Who is this?" Trina asked. She waited a second before saying, "I think you have the wrong—"

"It-t-t-t'sss – T-t-tori," she spit out quickly, interrupting Trina's train of thought.

"Tori?" She said, clearly surprised. "What's going on? How are you?"

"N-n-not-t-t g-g-good," Tori sputtered, fighting tears. It was a simple question – but one so difficult to answer. "B-ut I'm h-home. C-c-can you c-c-come?"

"Oh, Tori," Trina said in her best tone of condescension. "This is really a bad time. I have so much to do—"

"Okay," Tori stammered. She hung up the phone quickly, realizing tears were coming to her eyes. Her throat ached from the effort of the short conversation and her eyes stung from the tears. She curled on her side in bed and ignored the incessant beeping of the machinery until a nurse entered the room.

She didn't hear the footsteps of her nurse. "Miss Vega," she said, "what happened? Your heart rate is very high – what's going on?" Tori couldn't answer – she was too busy sobbing and hugging her knees to her chest. The doctor was called, as was her new psychologist. Before Jade returned, Tori had flown into a panic attack and as a result been dosed with a sedative. Jade was walking in the door when an orderly was busy securing an unconscious Tori to the bed.

"Really?" Jade asked, her voice sharp. She spun on her heel and walked into the hall where she'd passed Dr. Garrison. "Excuse me," she said demandingly, tapping the doctor on the shoulder.

"Jade, I am in the middle—"

"I don't care what you're in the middle of," Jade answered. "Why is someone strapping Tori to the bed?" The doctor excused herself from the nurse she'd been speaking with and led Jade to the side, out of the main hallway traffic.

"While you were gone – Tori had a panic attack. She gave a bloody nose to a nurse who was trying to help her."

"So – because she was frightened – you're tying her up. Isn't that the kind of thing that put her in a position to have panic attacks?" Jade demanded.

"It's not ideal," the doctor agreed.

"I want them off. Now." Jade returned to Tori's room and carefully removed the Velcro restraints, allowing them to drop. The doctor, who had followed her back into the room, sighed.

"Jade – we can't help her if she's attacking nurses."

"Then find another way," Jade responded. "Because you are not tying her up. How much crap did you pump into her this time?"

"She should be awake by dinner this evening," the doctor answered, ignoring Jade's seething tone. "Dr. Greeley will be in first thing tomorrow morning. I'm going to recommend an anti-anxiety medication to help with the panic attacks." Jade pulled a chair to Tori's bedside and sat, pulling out her cell phone. She was no longer speaking or looking at the doctor; that was as good a farewell as the woman was going to receive.

When Tori woke late the next evening, she found Beck and Jade in the dimmed room. Jade was sitting by the window and Beck was bent close to the bed, in gross contemplation. "Hi there," he said, once he realized she was awake. "You scared us." Jade turned her head from the window and Tori could see her brow furrowed in worry.

"You were out for over 24 hours," Jade explained, moving closer to the bed. She sat on the edge and faced the other woman. "What happened? You were fine when I left." Tori's eyes began to tear but she took a few deep breaths, trying to block out the panicky feelings that threatened to swallow her.

"I called Trina," she said almost inaudibly, her throat stinging from the pain of the words. Jade shook her head, a hiss on her lips while Beck ran his hands through his hair.

"I know she's your sister," Beck said carefully, measuring his words, "but she has always been selfish. Always. And you can't let her vanity and vapid personality get in the way of your recovery."

"You can't afford these kinds of setbacks," Jade reminded her. "If Trina were worth your time – she would be here." Tori knew the words were true – but it didn't stop them from hurting.

"I'm sorry," Tori cried.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Beck corrected her. Once she settled down, Tori picked up her PearPad and started typing – it was an email to Jade. She explained what the hospital administrator had said.

"She said I should have a power of attorney – in case something happens and I can't make decisions for myself. If I don't – Trina will have the authority, being my next of kin."

"Well, that certainly would suck," Jade responded after reading Tori's email. Beck had read the email over her shoulder and nodded his head in agreement.

"I know it's too much to ask – but there's no one else. I love Andre – but I think you're more likely to make the most logically, clear-headed decisions."

"Why Vega," Jade said with a false southern accent, "I do believe you just said something nice about me."

"Be serious." Jade smiled and spoke again in her own voice.

"If it's what you want – I'll do it. But are you sure Beck wouldn't be better suited for the job? He does like you more." Beck gave a silly grin.

"I think you'd be best," Tori answered, not giving into their silliness. "And thank you."

"Don't thank me," Jade responded. "Just don't make me use this newfound power. Don't let obstacles like your idiot sister stop you from getting better." Jade and Tori signed the appropriate papers the next morning, giving Jade the legal right to make medical, legal, and financial decisions in the case that Tori could not make those decisions on her own.

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Thank you again for reading! There are 32 alerts on this story and only an average of 7 reviews per chapter. If you like it enough to alert – please take a minute to review. And for those who do review – thank you, thank you, thank you! Let me know what you think, what you liked, what you're looking forward to reading about in the future chapters.

Coming in Chapter 6 – Tori's time at the hospital is coming to an end – where will she go from there? And an acquaintance makes a suggestion to Jade that may not please her.


	6. Lights Will Guide You Home

Chapter 6 – Lights Will Guide You Home

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

~ from Fix You by Coldplay

Three weeks. For three weeks, Tori had lived within the walls of the hospital. She spent a good majority of her time being poked, prodded, tested, or evaluated. When she wasn't doing some type of therapy or going through a medical procedure, she was speaking with detectives and federal agents about what had happened in the three years she'd been missing.

She was exhausted to the bone. Andre called as often as possible – usually every other day while Cat would Skype in on the days in between. They both would have preferred to speak with her daily but Jade put a quick stop to that – with Beck's support. Tori was too tired as it was – so they'd reached the every-other-day compromise with their friends.

Beck and Jade traded spending nights with her but Jade was with her every day. After Tori had returned from physical therapy crying one too many times, Jade became a constant companion to those sessions. She watched like a hawk, ensuring the doctor was being as careful as possible. As Tori's power of attorney, she had the right to do so – and she took full advantage to keep the doctors on their toes.

At the end of her third week in the hospital, Dr. Garrett appeared to do an exam and check on her progress. After she finished a thorough exam and asked all of her questions, she pulled up a chair – an unusual occurrence. "I think it's time we talk about life after you get out of here." Tori smiled in relief – she was happy to hear those words.

"I know you're anxious to get out of here," Dr. Garrett said to Tori. "But your blood pressure and weight are both very low. And with all of the therapy you're going to need to continue to do – I think it would be best if you move to a rehabilitation facility. There are two within 50 miles that will accept public benefits." Tori's eyes were tearing. She wanted to hear that she could go home. Regardless of the fact that she had nowhere to actually call home, she still needed to get out of the hospital atmosphere. Although everyone meant well, she was overwhelmed and anxious all of the time. She needed peace and a chance to heal. She fought the desperation welling in her battered body. Her ears began ringing as she attempted to listen to the doctor's description of the two places she could choose from. Before she realized it was happening, she was sobbing into her hands.

"Tori," Jade said kindly, moving to sit next to her on the bed. "Just calm down. We can talk about this later," she continued, glaring at the doctor, suggesting strongly that she leave. It took most of an hour before Tori calmed down and fell off to sleep. Jade was leaving the room quietly when Beck arrived and she grabbed his hand, pulling him along in search of the doctor. They found the woman in her office.

"Hi, Jade, Beck," she said, gesturing to the chairs before her desk. "Jade, I'm sorry about before—"

"She was a bit of a basket case before this happened," Jade answered. "She doesn't need this kind of stress. What do we need to do to take her home at the end of the week?"

The doctor looked surprised and took a moment to mull over that thought. "You don't realize what you're asking. Tori still needs 24 hour supervision – occupational, physical, and speech therapy. Not to mention the primary doctor visits and sessions with her psychologist."

"I realize that," Jade said. "But she's been away from home for three years. She doesn't need to spend another three months in an institution – she needs to start feeling safe somewhere. So, what do we need to do to make that happen?"

The doctor was hesitant with the plan but at the end of an hour long conversation, they outlined what would need to be done and planned in order to allow Tori to go home with Beck and Jade. After leaving the doctor's office, Beck took his wife's arm and led her toward an empty waiting room. They sat together for a few moments before he spoke.

"Do you really understand what we're getting ourselves into?" he asked.

"We're already in," Jade answered simply. "I don't see that we have a choice. Are you okay with this?"

"Of course," Beck answered. "But I'm not the one home with her all day. What about your recording? Are you getting any writing done?"

Jade nodded. "I'm fine," she promised. "It's not forever – just long enough for Tori to get her feet back on the ground. After that – she can decide what she wants to do and where she wants to go. And I can finish recording. For right now, I think this is the right decision." Beck pulled her close and dropped a kiss on her forehead. When Tori woke later that evening, Beck and Jade told her not to worry about any of the rehabilitation places and that they would take care of it. She was too tired to question their words.

That next morning, the aide to Tori's physical therapist picked her up from her psychologist's appointment to take her to the workout room. Jade stayed in the waiting room for an extra few minutes, finishing her current thoughts on the manuscript she was creating. Before she could pack her bag and follow to the physical therapy session, Isabelle Greeley walked out of her office and sat across from her.

"Hello, Jade."

"Hi," Jade said uncomfortably.

"Can we speak for a moment?"

"I think we are," Jade responded, closing her laptop and folding her hands over the lid. Dr. Greeley smiled and nodded.

"I suppose we are. Tori had been making good strides in our sessions."

"Good."

"She's confused as to why you're helping her."

"Yeah – well – that's not my problem. I'm trying to do the right thing."

"She knows that much," the doctor responded. "Have you considered talking with someone? Not me – of course – but someone else here at the hospital? Tori has been through so much – but there is a lot of stress on those caring for her as well."

"I'm fine," Jade responded.

"What are you trying to compensate for?"

"What?" Jade snapped, her head tilting ever so slightly.

"You heard me," Dr. Greeley answered. "I can see you're a good person – you care about Tori. You love your husband. But unless you start dealing with your feelings – your house of cards is going to come tumbling down. And then who will take care of them?" Jade was speechless and her eyes wide as Dr. Greeley pressed a card into her hand and walked back into her office.

Three days and sleepless nights after her run in with Dr. Greeley, Jade was sitting in a sunny yellow room that angered her greatly. Her black ballet flats were on the floor, her legs tucked neatly under her. She held a soft purple pillow in her lap, worrying the fringe with her fingertips. A woman sat across from her, waiting patiently.

"Jade," Dr. Emily Nealson said eventually, "I can't make you talk. But let's start with simple things. Tell me where you live – who you live with – what you do." Jade rolled her eyes and let out a little huff before licking her lips and beginning.

"I live in Hancock Park," Jade answered. "With my husband Beck. My best friend Cat lives in an apartment on our third floor – when she's not working on Broadway. I write – plays mostly. But I'm having my first novel published this year. And I compose and perform. Which I'm sure you know."

"I did know that," the woman answered. "I'm quite fond of both of your albums."

"Thanks," Jade said wryly.

"But I'm not here as a fan – and you're not here as a musician or a writer. So let's move on. Tell me about what brought you here."

"Your crazy colleague down the hall – Dr. Greeley. She's helping my friend and suggested I should talk to someone."

"You think she's crazy – but you listened?"

"She might not be wrong. But the way she said it was crazy."

"Maybe it was the only way to get you to hear it," Emily said with a flicker of a smile. "Tell me about your friend who is seeing Dr. Greeley." Jade spent the next thirty minutes filling her in on Tori's disappearance and recent reemergence into their lives. Toward the end of their time together, Dr. Nealson – Emily, as she insisted she be called – stopped her.

She put away the notepad that had been sitting in front her. "I think you have things to work through – and I believe I can help. But it's up to you. Is it something you want to spend time on?"

"I don't like talking about my feelings," Jade answered.

"You're not alone in that," Emily assured her. "But with everything that had been going on with your friend Tori – and the fact that you're going to be taking someone else into your home – may mean that you need to talk about those feelings. Before you can't deal with them anymore."

"I'll try," Jade said finally, after a severe pause.

"That's all you can do," Emily answered. "I will help as best I can. Go ahead and schedule with my secretary for whatever time Tori is meeting with Isabelle – it'll give you one less drive to make." Jade didn't know why – but she kept to herself the fact that she decided to see a therapist. What Beck didn't know wasn't his business. And she had a reputation to maintain.

That night, they needed to speak with Tori about leaving the hospital. The following morning, they would release her and she would be on her own. Jade and Beck knew they needed to speak to her about living arrangements but they both feared if they posed their thoughts incorrectly, she would turn them down. It was decided – by the exact science of the coin toss – that Beck would be the one to speak first.

"Tori," Beck said gently, "Jade and I would like it if you would come and stay with us for a while. Would that be okay?" Tori shook her head, causing Beck to sigh and Jade to furrow her eyebrow suspiciously. Biting her lip, Tori reached for the notepad next to her bed and began scribbling.

"It's too much," she wrote. "I'll be okay at Willow Lake." Although her speaking was still spotty and difficult, her fine motor skills had improved enough that she could write well for short spurts of time.

"Seriously?" Jade asked. "You know we wouldn't offer if we didn't mean it. You've been away from your friends for long enough. Do you really want to spend – potentially – the next six months thirty miles away in a convalescent home?" She paused. "I've seen the brochures. It's not even a nice one."

"I can't let you guys do this," Tori wrote.

"Then let's make it so it's not your choice," Jade said suddenly, leaning back in her chair. Beck looked at her with a frown and Tori glared. "You know I always get what I want – and I will fight you on this. Unless you give me a good reason to let you go to Willow Lake. But I don't think that's what you want – I think you're just trying to be difficult." Tori didn't have a good reason; she was just feeling so incredibly dependent on Beck and Jade that she wanted to argue. She didn't want to be any more dependent than she already was.

With Jade's less than veiled threats, the plans were set. Tori was permitted to leave the hospital. She would still have a nurse visiting daily for a few lingering problems and daily therapy. Five days of physical therapy, three days of speech therapy, and three sessions a week with her psychologist. She barely saw the house the first time she entered due to the drugs in her system and the fact that Beck carried her through the front door and up the stairs to the guestroom closest to the master suite. Jade had freshened up the room and filled it with things from Tori's childhood bedroom, which had been in storage for three years.

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Thank you for reading – please share your thoughts. What do you like about the story so far? Do you see any looming problems ahead? In Chapter 7: Cat returns and we learn a bit more of her back story (or in-between-story, as it were).


	7. Where They Understand You

I apologize for the delay. I had a family wedding and several big projects at work. But, in return, this is a particularly long chapter. I hope you enjoy – please share your thoughts in a review :-)

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"Home is not where you live but where they understand you." ~Christian Morgenstern

Chapter 7 – Where They Understand You

Once Tori was deposited safely in their home, Beck went back to the studio. As soon as Tori fell asleep, Jade went up the stairs to her office and began organizing. After all the time she'd spent working at the hospital, her things were not the way she liked them.

Tori slept soundly for three hours but when she woke , she let out a guttural cry and curled into the center of the bed, her knees tucked against her chest. Jade found her in that position, crying heavily, twenty minutes later. "Tori," she said softly, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder," Jade informed her. "It's just me." Her hand reached carefully to Tori's shoulder, from where she began rubbing gentle, soothing circles across her back. They had learned quickly not to touch her without warning.

"What happened?" Jade asked. She was not surprised when she didn't receive an answer. She stifled a sigh and tried again, her hands still connecting with Tori. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"N-n-n-n-no," Tori stammered, her back heaving as she dissolved again into tears.

"Can we talk about it? It might help."

"It's st-st-st-stupid."

"After everything you've been through," Jade informed her, "you're allowed to feel whatever you want – it is not stupid."

"The bed," Tori said eventually. "I'm s-s-s-sorry. It's st-t-t-t-stupid."

"It's not stupid," Jade argued. "Stop apologizing. I'm sorry – I didn't think. We'll fix it." She was berating herself internally. She had seen the pictures – Tori had spent the past three years chained to a four-poster bed. The last thing she needed was to be sleeping in another one. Jade moved her to the master bedroom and made a few phone calls. That afternoon, the four-poster bed was gone, replaced with a simple queen sleigh bed.

The next few weeks required a lot of home improvement type work from Beck and Jade. The door to Tori's bathroom was removed, as was the lock on her bedroom door. Jade had alright done an initial sweep for sharp objects, but she did another one after she'd found Tori having a breakdown in the bathtub. The shower curtain rod was removed; Tori pretended not to notice – she preferred baths anyway. She knew she wasn't suicidal; but she understood why Jade was worried. She hadn't been completely lucid since leaving the hospital. The first few days flew past in a blur of appointments, sessions, and naps.

On her sixth day out of the hospital, Jade suggested they try a walk around the neighborhood. It was a gated community, so there was no danger of the paparazzi surrounding them. Tori agreed with the plan and carefully pulled a blue hoodie over her jeans and long sleeved t-shirt. Jade threw on a black sweater and placed her cell phone and house key in one of her pockets. It reminded her that they needed to reactivate Tori's new phone with her old number. There were a lot of strings attached to bringing someone back into society after three years.

"Cat's coming home in two weeks," Jade told her as they walked. "She gets a week off every two months – so she'll be here then."

"T-t-t-that's g-g-g-good," Tori answered.

"And Robbie called last night – he wants to come and visit. Is that alright with you?" Tori nodded and Jade chuckled. "Are you sure? He still has that creepy ass doll, Rex." Tori nodded again, a smile on her lips. Away from the hospital, Jade was far more relaxed – and it helped Tori to feel calmer too.

"C-c-c-can I s-s-s-see the house?" Tori asked, once they returned from their walk and finished lunch. Jade looked at her watch and nodded.

"Half an hour until the cranky Candice gets here," Jade said with a smirk.

"She's not that bad," Tori said clearly.

"Sure. Whatever you say. Let's start up and go down." Jade offered her arm and Tori took it – walking with her up two flights of stairs to the third floor. The third floor was extremely large. There was a rather spacious apartment in the back of the floor where Cat lived when she wasn't in New York. It contained a sitting room, bedroom, bathroom, walk-in closet, and two balconies. From one of the balconies, you could get to the upper tier of the hardwood deck built onto the back of the house.

In addition to Cat's rooms, there were two guest rooms with baths, Jade's office, a full bath, a half bath, and the entrance to the attic.

The second floor, where Tori had already spent a bit of time, contained Jade and Beck's master bedroom, the bedroom where Tori herself had been installed, two other guest rooms, and a total of five bathrooms. The main floor of the house consisted of a formal living room complete with grand piano, the family room, large kitchen and dinner-party sized dining room. There was also a large pantry, two bathrooms, and Jade's favorite – a music room. They were finishing the tour when the speech therapist arrived.

Tori had been living in the Oliver home for over a week when Andre arrived straight from the airport. He had spoken to Tori over telephones and web chats, but he was anxious to see her in person. It was a Sunday – so Beck and Jade were both home and after much cajoling, Beck had convinced his wife to join both he and Tori in a game of Scrabble. Beck knew Jade loved the game – but she would never dream of admitting that to Tori.

Beck went for the door when the bell rang and gave Andre a happy greeting; they weren't expecting him for several more days. "Hey, welcome home," Beck said, giving his best friend a "manly" hug. Jade appeared in the doorway, Tori holding onto her arm. The physical therapist had – in Jade's opinion – been too rough on Friday and left the young woman in pain for the entire weekend.

"Hey, girl," Andre said, taking Tori from Jade and wrapping his arms around her in a long embrace. "You don't know how happy I am that you're back where you belong."

"Not nearly as happy as I am," Tori answered with a nervous laugh. Jade tried to fight a scowl but it appeared at the corners of her mouth. Beck wrapped his arms around her and walked with her into the kitchen – guarding Andre from her newfound overprotection of Tori.

"Babe, let's give them a few minutes," he said, leading her to a kitchen chair.

"He doesn't understand," Jade said through gritted teeth.

"No," Beck agreed, "he doesn't." He moved toward the cabinet and pulled out a wine glass before locating a bottle of Jade's favorite beverage. "But he hadn't been here – so you've gotta give him time." He handed her the glass of chilled Chardonnay to Jade and started rooting through the refrigerator.

"Get the hell away from there," Jade warned. "Dinner is already planned. The salad is made and the lasagna is waiting to go into the oven."

"When do you have time?" He asked, standing behind her and gently rubbing her shoulders.

"Like I sleep," she scoffed in between sips. Beck chuckled and dropped a kiss on top of her brown curls. While they were in the kitchen discussing Beck's film and Jade's newest penned songs, Andre and Tori sat in the living room trying to get past the awkwardness.

Andre hadn't lost physical contact with his best friend since he'd come in the door and he was currently holding her hand, lost in how small and frail it was. "We never stopped looking," he said, his expression pained as he looked up into her eyes.

"I know," she said with a warm smile. "W-w-what ha-ha-happened is n-n-n-not your fault-t-t," she assured him.

"How is everything going here at the Oliver abode?"

"Gg-good," Tori said shortly.

"Jade hasn't tried to strangle you in your sleep?"

"S-s-s-she's-s-s – she's ch-ch-changed a lot-t-t-t," Tori stuttered after sharing a small smile.

"Well, she's still Jade. So why don't you come and stay with me until you get on your own feet again?"

Tori was stunned into silence; she hadn't really thought about leaving Beck and Jade's home. She wasn't exactly in a position to make that decision. She could rarely think past how she was going to physically get from point A to point B in any given moment. Luckily, before she needed to react, Beck walked into the room to tell them that dinner was ready. Andre started immediately toward the dining room. Tori stood up, bracing herself against the arm of the sofa. Andre turned to watch as Beck offered his arm and carefully helped her to the table. Jade was setting dishes on a crisp blue table cloth and Andre was shocked at her completely calm demeanor when she saw her husband's arms around Tori.

Instead of reacting the way Andre assumed she would – the way he has seen her react many times in high school – Jade pulled Tori's chair from the table and waited until she was seated before perching next to her. Beck sat at the head of the table, Jade and Tori to his right and Andre to his left. They talked about nothing but fluffiness during dinner. Andre thought his eyes might bulge from his head while Jade reached over and cut Tori's dinner into manageable pieces while simultaneously gushing about Cat's current role on Broadway. Beck shared what he knew of Robbie's career and both asked Andre about his tour.

While she may have seemed calm to strangers, Andre saw the tense set of Jade's jaw as she watched Tori attempt to eat. Occasionally, she would slide her knife onto Tori's plate and cut something smaller, saying nothing in the process.

Clare was the occupational therapist who came six days a week to help Tori regain control over the things that had once been so simple – washing her own hair, tying her own shoes – doing her own makeup. She arrived that evening just as Jade was serving dessert. Beck let her in and she followed him to the dining room. "Hi Tori," the woman said cheerfully. "Hi, Jade, Beck."

"Hey, Clare," Jade said with a smile. She was Jade's favorite of the litany of therapists and doctors – she didn't take any crap. Tori liked her too – but wished sometimes she'd be a bit more lenient. "This is our friend Andre. Would you like to join us for dessert?"

"Nice to meet you," Clare said kindly, holding out her hand to Andre. "But I'm going to pass tonight," she said apologetically. She looked at Tori, who had already eaten the small piece of pie Jade had placed in front of her. "You ready?"

Tori nodded and stood, pecking Andre's cheek before grabbing Clare's arm as they moved toward the stairs. "Meg really was in a bad mood Friday, huh?" Tori rolled her eyes but Jade chuckled at the amusing comment about the physical therapist.

"Who is Clare?" Andre asked once they were alone.

"Occupational Therapist," Jade said. "She helps with the practical stuff. Everything from personal grooming to fine motor skills."

"Personal grooming?"

"Brushing teeth, tying shoes, buttoning shirts – everything, really."

"Tori can't brush her own teeth?"

"She can now," Jade answered. "She couldn't three weeks ago."

There was an uncomfortable pause before Andre broke it with, "as soon as I get my apartment opened back up and do some grocery shopping, we can get Tori moved in." He was surprised when Jade's fork clattered against the China plate and Beck cleared his throat gruffly.

"Do you – think that's the best idea right now?" Beck asked, quelling Jade's coming outburst by grasping her hand quickly and firmly.

"If I had been here – when she was found—" Andre started.

"You weren't," Jade interrupted shortly. Beck against silenced her with a squeeze of the hand. She gritted her teeth and scowled.

"If I had been," Andre continued, "she would have been with me from the beginning. I mean – I can't thank you guys enough for stepping up and doing this – but I'm sure you have other things to be doing."

"She has about twenty appointments a week," Jade informed him. She glanced at the calendar on the refrigerator. "Next week it's closer to thirty."

"What?"

"Occupational therapy six days a week. Physical therapy five days a week," she said, slowly, calmly. It was a tone that frightened even Beck. "Which, by the way – is not a pretty sight," she said harshly. "Speech therapy three times a week. At least two blood draws a week. It used to be three appointments with the psychologist – but she's upped it to four and it's likely going to go up to five. Hell, if that woman had weekend hours, I'd probably see more of her than I do of Beck," Jade said, the anger beginning to spew.

"You don't have to-"

"I am not finished," Jade interrupted. "Every day – she has to take a total of fifteen pills. Three of them are so specific that they have to be timed and if she misses any of the three by more than ten minutes, we have to call the doctor."

"Jade, I don't care," Andre argued. "I can help her."

"How can you do all that and work?" Jade asked simply. Andre was immediately at a loss.

"I can work around her appointments," he said finally.

"Man," Beck said gently. "She can't be alone. Even at night – we had to hide one of those baby monitors in the bedside table. I know your heart is in the right place – and you want to help. But I don't think now is the time to move her. The only way we can manage it is because Jade took a break from recording." And performing – and writing – and touring. But it had been her decision; and it had been a simple one at the time. He failed to throw in the fact that they had money and could afford to meet Tori's needs – but it was clearly implied. Jade's ears rang but she held back her anger; she certainly didn't want to lose a friend in order to protect another. So, she bit her tongue and allowed Beck to take the lead on the conversation.

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Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the newest chapter. Who do you think will prevail in this argument? What do you think Tori will want?


	8. Strong Tomorrow

Thank you so much, those of you who have reviewed – you're wonderful! I'm so happy that you're enjoying the story – I hope you like this next update. There is a bit of setback – but it has its purpose and won't last for long. So, read, enjoy, and review

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Chapter 8 – Strong Tomorrow

"_So now you're sleeping peaceful / I lie awake and pray / That you'll be strong tomorrow / And will see another day_" – from "Hold On" by Sarah McLachlan

They were still in a heated debate two hours later when Clare returned to the tense kitchen. She fished a bottle of water from her bag before taking a swig. Once finished, she sat at the counter and wrote for a few minutes before handing a folder to Jade. The brunette read it over with a furrowed brow before signing off and handing it back to the therapist. "She wanted to get right into bed. But she asked if you could stop in." Jade nodded. "She's exhausted. You need to tell Meg to take it easy tomorrow," she suggested, referring to the physical therapist.

"She doesn't listen to me," Jade said dryly.

"I'll call her," Clare offered. "There is such a thing as pushing too much. And it was clear tonight that she needs a break. Take it slow this week." Jade raised her eyebrows and Clare laughed before amending her order. "Okay, take it slower this week. Call me if you have any problems. Otherwise, I'll come by tomorrow around eight."

"Thank you, Clare," Beck said. Jade was already gone, having grabbed a water bottle and headed up the stairs toward Tori's room. She knocked lightly on the door jamb.

"Come in," Tori called. Usually, if she was in bed that early, she would be reading a book or playing on the PearPad Beck had given her. That night, however, she was already curled under the covers, lights out.

"It's barely ten," Jade said as she entered. She pulled a chair close to the bed and switched on the bedside lamp.

"I'm tired," Tori answered.

"Understandable," Jade replied. "What else is up?"

"Andre wants me to go and live with him," she stammered quietly, the thought taking three times the normal length of time to be interjected into the conversation.

"People want a lot of things," Jade responded. "And one point in life, you wanted to live in some damn sugar castle. Want does not translate to something happening. Unless you want it to. It is completely your decision." Tori was silent and she looked away, suddenly extremely interested in the flowers embroidered into her pillowcase.

"Unless," Jade said slowly. "You don't want it to be your choice. I am fully on board with being the head bitch around here – I will tell him there is no option – if that's what you want."

"I –d-d-don't want-t-t-t to hurt him," she said softly.

"For god's sake, Tori!" Jade cried. "You are allowed to be selfish in this. This is not the time to make everyone else happy. This is the time to do what is right for you. What do you want?"

"I'm so tired," she whispered, "I want to stay here," she added, fighting tears. She buried her face in the pillow and let go, her entire frame overtaken by sobs. Jade sighed and moved to the edge of the bed, rubbing circles against her back in an attempt to comfort.

After a few minutes, when Tori still hadn't stopped, Jade began to speak softly. "Tori, you need to calm down," she pleaded. "Come on, this is not good for you." She continued to rub her back. "Do you want a pill?" Tori shook her head.

"No," she cried.

"Okay," Jade agreed. "Then you need to calm down. No one is going to be upset with you. Andre loves you – he'll understand. It's going to be fine." Tori continued to cry and Jade sighed, moving close to despair herself.

She hummed for a moment and began to sing softly,

"There is no upper hand

I'm giving you mine

It doesn't have to end up wasting your time

There's things that I could say

But here in my way

I wanna let you know

That it's all okay."

By the time she finished the familiar song, Tori had stopped crying and drifted to sleep. In the kitchen, Beck turned off the receiver for the monitor in Tori's room and sat back at the table, eyes on his friend. Andre was shocked speechless.

"I know," Beck said with a slight grin, "it freaks me out too. When we brought Tori home, I figured I'd have to quit my job to keep Jade from killing her. Don't get me wrong – I have always loved Jade just the way she is – but having Tori here – having her truly need help that Jade is able to give – it has brought around a side that I have never seen before."

"Man, I was not expecting Jade to actually care about Tori."

"I'm with you," Beck answered. He grinned again when he heard the sound of boots on the stairs.

"Stop talking about me," Jade spat. "I know you had that monitor turned on," she said, glaring at Beck. "And now I'm going to have to kill you both." She glared hard at Andre before going into the refrigerator to grab her bottle of wine and two bottles of beer. Handing one to each of the guys, she poured herself a second glass of wine.

"I take it that was enough to end this conversation?" She asked, her voice thick and stern.

"I heard enough," he acquiesced. "I get that she needs to stay here." Neither Jade nor Beck answered. "But I'm coming to visit."

"As much as you want," Beck agreed.

"But if you annoy me," Jade said with a sweet smile, "I will kick you out."

By the next week, they had fallen into a pattern of sorts between all of the appointments and travel time. Tori got antsy from being confined in any particular place for too long, so they usually made it outside for a walk each day – once even in a downpour. The golf umbrella had helped, but they'd both still gotten soaked from their feet up to their knees.

On a relatively quiet Tuesday, Jade was making dinner while Tori watched intently. "Tomorrow is your appointment with the new gynecologist. Dr. Greeley gave you a Xanax if you want to take it first – do you want it?"

"Any chance of skipping the whole thing?" Tori asked, playful banter doing a poor job of hiding her terror. The first time she'd had that type of exam, she had been heavily sedated in the emergency room. With all of her other maladies, they'd primarily left that area alone, but her primary doctor has suggested it was something she needed to do considering the abuse she'd received.

"No," Jade said, uncharacteristically softly. "Dr. Greeley said she would meet us there if you think you would be more comfortable. And really, Dr. Brown is very nice. She understands the circumstances."

Tori did take the pill that morning; she couldn't control her fear that kept bubbling to the surface. Despite the medication, she shook almost violently as Jade drove toward the familiar medical building. Pulling in front of the building, Jade exited her own door and circled the car to open Tori's. The brunette sat in the passenger seat, unmoving.

"Tori, come on – it'll be over before you know it."

"I c-c-can't d-d-d-do t-t-t-this," Tori stuttered painfully, tears brimming. Jade reached across to unbuckle her seatbelt and Tori stiffened. Her heart began beating quickly, her ears ringing as Jade attempted to talk her down from the coming panic.

Soon her palms were sweating and she was shaking with chills, trying desperately to catch her breath. Jade spoke slowly and calmly, trying to regain her attention. Within a few minutes, she realized how far gone her friend truly was and called Isabelle Greeley, who was luckily in her office.

Once she reached the parking lot, she crouched next to Tori and tried to get her attention. Nothing worked – words, noises – Tori was not focusing on anything beyond her panic. "Her blood pressure is too high," Dr. Greeley told Jade, after removing the cuff and her stethoscope. "She's in a full panic attack – with these numbers, we should admit her – at least for the night." Jade nodded; she certainly didn't have a better alternative.

"Tori," Dr. Greeley said. "Once last chance. I need you to talk to me. If you can't do that – I need to give you this sedative. Can you look at me? Tori?" After the last failed attempt, the doctor pulled a syringe from her pocket and shot it into Tori, whose eyes closed almost immediately. Jade watched helplessly, her fingers clasped tightly around the car door frame, as they waited for the attendants Dr. Greeley called inside the hospital.

Tori, given the fact that she was unconscious and already under the direct care of an attending physician, was taken immediately to a private room. Jade placed several phone calls and then sat in an uncomfortable – if familiar – chair at the bedside. She was tired of waiting – and tired of sitting by while things spun out of control. But it was her lot in this situation, so she sat back and closed her eyes, waiting for the next downpour.

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Thanks again for reading! Also, I am aware of the difference between a Psychologist (mostly therapist) and a Psychiatrist (more medical doctor, can prescribe medicine). However, this story already has too many doctors and therapists, so I'm making Dr. Greeley a terribly intelligent and multi-talented woman who has both degrees and serves both purposes. Hope that's okay! Chapter 9 - More of Andre and Beck, Jade needs a break, and Tori has a breakthrough.


	9. Fuel for the Journey

Enjoy! And please, as always, let me know what you think!

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Chapter 9 Fuel for the Journey

"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." ~Kenji Miyazawa

Tori woke in an unfamiliar room. Unlike her previous stay in the hospital, this room was quiet. She looked and saw that the door was firmly closed; that was one indication of her location. Almost immediately, she realized where she was; the psych ward. She had visited Cat there on one occasion and she recognized the overly cheerful décor and the locked-down atmosphere. She remained numb for a minute, looking over at the door that was sure to be locked and at the window she knew to be Plexiglas. Before panic had set, Jade's voice pulled her back.

"Hey," she said quietly. "You're fine." Tori knew that was a lie, but it did calm her. Eyes wide, she continued to take in her surroundings. There were no loose cords, no sharp edges – everything was extremely perfect. It made her nauseous. She struggled into a sitting position just in time, heaving into the garbage bin Jade thrust into her lap.

"I've heard Lorazepam will do that to you," Jade said simply, waiting until Tori was finished to set the bin aside and hand her a tissue. "Better?" Tori nodded but pointed to the water pitcher. She sipped from the cup Jade held and rinsed the sour taste from her mouth. Looking around the stark yellow room, she realized there was no clock.

"W-w-w-what t-t-t-time is it-t-t?"

"Around ten," Jade responded after a quick consult with her cell phone. Tori looked out the window, which clearly showed daylight streaming in. "Ten Wednesday morning," Jade explained. " You slept through lunch, dinner, and breakfast. But they looked pretty gross, so it was probably for the best," she extended flippantly. "How do you feel?"

"Scared." The word was thick and slurred from the medicine but Jade understood. She grasped her friend's hand and squeezed tightly.

"You're going to be fine," Jade assured her. She brushed hair away and dropped a kiss on Tori's temple. "But you do have stop worrying us."

"Sorry," Tori whispered.

"Just rest," Jade answered, helping her lean back against the pillows. She was lying down for less than a minute when her eyes fluttered closed and she slipped back into a dreamless sleep. Jade sighed and picked up her cell phone, texting Andre and Beck to let them know she had been awake – if only for a moment.

An hour later, Jade was just gaining concentration on the newest Jeannie Frost novel when the door opened a pinch and Emily Nealson stuck her head inside. She smiled lightly at Jade and indicated that she should come into the hall. Jade did so – if only to avoid waking Tori.

"What?" Jade said unceremoniously, after the door was closed behind her.

"Hello to you too," Emily answered. "I heard you were here. Can we talk for a minute?"

"Are you going to let me back in the room if I say no?"

"No," Emily answered with a smile.

"Well, then." Jade crossed her arms and looked at the therapist defiantly.

"Come with me," Emily said. "She'll be asleep for a few more hours – at least."

"No thanks to that dose Dr. Greeley gave her," Jade responded. "It seems a bit excessive." She followed Emily as she walked to the stairwell and opened the door with her ID badge. The young doctor led Jade up three flights of stairs to the roof of the hospital – to a garden Jade had heard about but never taken the time to investigate. Emily found a secluded area with several pieces of comfortable outdoor furniture and sat, waiting patiently for Jade to join her.

Jade had skipped the last two scheduled appointments – one intentionally and one from earlier that morning because Tori had been admitted to the hospital. The brunette had no desire to explain her actions or apologize. She was actually berating herself internally for allowing herself to practically be bullied into seeing a therapist. Weren't there enough annoying people in her life that wanted pieces of her? She didn't need another one; especially one that she had to pay. Crossing her arms over her chest, she stared into the creeping vine someone had grown up a trellis to give this area privacy. The vine had tiny pink buds – Jade supposed they would be blooming sometime soon.

Emily allowed her the silence but she didn't back down. She sat quietly and observed Jade until the younger woman folded and met her gaze. "What do you want?"

"To know how you are," Emily answered simply.

"It doesn't require a degree to figure that out," Jade responded. "It's been pretty shitty."

"I can only imagine." Silence once more filled the space between them. Jade refused the aching desire to look at her watch. If she had, she'd realize that ten minutes had passed. Finally, after the words refused to the quelled, Jade spit them out, her throat and eye aching with the effort of holding back tears.

"I thought she was getting better."

"She was," Emily assured her, "and she still is. When people go through as much trauma as Tori has, setbacks are a major part of recovery. There is no way to avoid all of them – and they're no reason to be discouraged. In the big picture, she is getting better. I know you know that."

Jade didn't respond and the silence enveloped them again until Emily spoke up with her most controversial question to date. "Do you understand why you feel so responsible for her?" Icy blue daggers flew from Jade's eyes to the young doctor. "Others can't understand the dynamic here – but can you? I think you might just as confused as everyone else."

"So, you're saying I shouldn't care?"

"You know that's not what I'm saying," Emily responded. "When is the last time you took a break?" Jade scoffed; no one had time for a break. "I'm serious." Jade had no answer; she'd been working her ass off since middle school. She couldn't remember the last time she'd truly relaxed. But that wasn't something she cared to share. "You need to take time. There are other people who can take care of Tori for a few days – or even a few hours. Get a massage, get your nails done, take a walk by yourself." Jade rolled her eyes. "I'm dead serious, Jade. You're on the brink of exhaustion. I have a feeling that one call to your husband would stop the eye rolling."

"Don't threaten me," Jade said sharply.

"Not a threat," Emily said. "What good will you do anyone if you run yourself into the ground?" Jade didn't answer. She stood and walked back to Tori's room to stew in her own thoughts and emotions. That afternoon, Dr. Greeley walked into the room with a woman Tori had never met. Jade greeted them both and watched with intent as the psychiatrist checked Tori's vitals.

"You should be able to go home tonight," Dr. Greeley said with a smile. "Is that alright with you?"

"Yes," Tori answered immediately.

"You had a really, really bad panic attack," the doctor informed her. "You had us frightened for a while there. But I'm going to increase your dosage of SSRIs – that should help with the anxiety." Tori nodded. "This," the woman said, pointing to the doctor who had followed her into the room, "is Dr. Megan Brown." Tori's palms instantly became clammy and her mouth dry. Dr. Greeley sat on the edge of the bed and made her focus.

"Don't panic. The exam is already done. She wanted to meet you and discuss the results."

"When?"

"When you were out," Jade answered. "You're welcome." Tori glared at her slightly. She wasn't sure if she was relieved that it was over or angry that Jade had allowed her to be poked and prodded while she was unconscious. Her anxiety waned as she took deep breaths and nodded her consent to the conversation. Dr. Brown pulled a chair to the side of the bed where Jade was already sitting and placed a folder on her lap.

She smiled apologetically as her eyes met Tori's. "I'm so sorry we did this without your consent – but Dr. Greeley and Mrs. Oliver thought it would be for the best." Tori nodded; not in agreement that it was for the best, but in understanding that was exactly what her friend and her therapist had believed.

Dr. Brown started going through her folder and explaining to Tori the damage that had been done. Before the end of an hour, Tori knew that she would never – never – be able to conceive or carry a child to term. There was scar tissue that needed to be removed so she wouldn't continue to have pain during her periods. And Dr. Brown believed those would start up again – once she was no longer under so much stress and so malnourished.

She found herself completely unable to cry. She was removed from the situation anyway. The Tori who had wanted children – who could fathom the possibility of being touched by a man – she was gone. This Tori didn't know when she was going to be able to hold a normal conversation again, let alone think of having children. That was a normalcy she hadn't allowed herself to consider since she'd been taken.

Dr. Brown told Tori to call her if she needed anything and reminded Jade to schedule a follow up in six months. Dr. Greeley stayed longer, trying to talk to Tori about the test results. Tori didn't want to talk – she nodded and bit her lip, willing the woman away. The psychiatrist did eventually leave, but not before handing Jade a prescription for Valium – for "when this sinks in." Before dinner time, Beck had arrived and all three were headed home to the Oliver abode.

Beck tried to convince Tori to stay on the main floor for dinner but she wanted to go to bed so he carried her up the stairs and into her bedroom. Jade arrived twenty minutes later with a bowl of soup, crackers, and the nightly handful of pills. Tori blanched at the sight of food but Jade insisted.

"You haven't eaten since lunch – and you barely touched that. You need something." Tori sipped at the broth reluctantly but avoided the crackers. She swallowed the pills diligently and curled under the familiar covers. "Do you want to talk about this?" Jade asked, once the bowl was set aside and the main light in the room was dimmed. She was curled into a glider by Tori's bed, her black sweater wrapped securely around her slim frame.

"Not even a little," Tori said calmly, staring with concentration at the blue paint swirled across the ceiling.

"I'm sorry."

"I know," Tori answered. She paused before continued. "I need some time." Jade nodded and stood. She turned out the bedside lamp, leaving the room lit only by the illumination from the hallway. Leaning over Tori, she kissed her cheek gently and whispered gently.

"I'll give you time. But don't you forget – we are here. You are not alone." Tori nodded, tears glistening in her eyes as she turned away. Jade walked to the door, closing it gently behind her as she gave her friend the requested breathing room.


	10. Source of Sorrow

Thanks so much to all who have read and reviewed :-) It means so much to know what you think. I hope you enjoy the following chapter - it was probably the most difficult to write because it falls between two important events and while it was necessary, it was not as plot driven as usual. Let me know how it works for you. Hopefully, it gives a bit of insight into what has been going on in Jade's mind since this began.

* * *

Chapter 10 The Source of Sorrow

"Guilt is the source of sorrow, 'tis the fiend, Th' avenging fiend, that follows us behind, with whips and stings."

That night, Jade and Beck spent the night together for the first time since Tori had rejoined their lives. No one slept on the sofa, one ear always listening and no one slept in a chair in Tori's room or the hospital. They slept in their own King sized bed, Jade curled in Beck's arms, her face buried in his chest.

The following morning, Beck turned off the bedroom alarm and crawled carefully from the bed, leaving Jade amongst the covers. He had already arranged for Clare to spend the day with Tori while Jade took a break. Knowing his wife's probable response, he had not shared that information with her. Nor had he clued her in on the sleeping pill he'd "accidentally dropped" in her wine the night before. That was his story and he was sticking to it.

By the time he was ready to leave for his full day of filming, Jade was still sleeping. He pulled a page from a notebook and scribbled a note before turning her phone to silent and setting the paper below it on the night stand.

When he reached the kitchen, he found Clare already there, searching through the cabinets while Tori sat listlessly at the counter, looking grumpy and tired. "Hey, beautiful," Beck said, dropping a kiss on top of her messy curls. She grumbled in response. "Thanks for coming on short notice, Clare."

"Sure thing, Beck," she said, placing a box of cereal on the kitchen counter.

"You might want to get the evidence you fed her cereal for breakfast put away before Jade wakes up," he said with a smile. "You ladies have a good day. Call me if Jade gives you any trouble."

"We'll be fine," Clare assured him. "Have a good day at work." She turned to Tori. "What should we make for breakfast that won't make her grouchy?"

"Everything makes her grouchy," Tori answered, typing it into her PearPad and holding it up for Clare to see.

"Madame Moody isn't going to attempt to talk today?" Clare asked. Tori grimaced at her but remained silent. "That's not going to go over well when your speech therapist gets here." Tori typed quickly before holding up the device again.

"Please, cancel it."

"No way," Clare said, drawing out her words. "She's already going to be angry that no one woke her up this morning."

"It won't help that Beck drugged her last night," Tori replied in text. Clare chuckled.

"No, no. I don't think that is going to go over well at all." They settled on keeping the cereal for breakfast but threw in fruit for good measure. Since her morning was free of appointments, Clare left a note and dragged Tori on a walk, despite her insistence that she wanted to lie down. Beck had informed the therapist about the events of the day before, so she knew that self-contemplation shouldn't be on the agenda for the day.

When Jade woke, she knew something was off because of the light streaming around the edges of her navy damask drapes. Eyes focused on her clock, she swore softly and bolted out of bed. She saw the note immediately and read it quickly, swearing as Beck's words sunk in.

By the time she was showered and dressed, Tori and Clare had returned from their walk. Jade joined them in the living room where Clare was trying to convince Tori to work on some of her exercises that the physical therapist had assigned.

"It appears I will be gone for the day," Jade said, standing in the doorway to the music room. Tori looked at her questioningly. "Beck left me a note threatening to invite my parents to Thanksgiving dinner unless I go to the Spa for at least four hours. So – I will be at the Spa for four hours."

"First of all," Clare argued, "that doesn't sound like much of a threat. A spa day is supposed to be a good thing. And your parents – are they that bad?"

"I can't think of a thing I wouldn't do to keep them away," Jade answered seriously.

"And she has a scary imagination," Tori added in type.

"Stop using that," Jade ordered. "You can talk." Tori grimaced at her and watched as she stomped out the door. Jade went to the spa and spent the day allowing herself to be pampered. Never once did her brain let go of her to-do list or her litany of worries. She tried, but it was permanently adhered to a front spot of her brain.

When she returned home, she had five solid hours to think of all the guilt, worry, and anxiety she harbored. It hadn't left her with a positive disposition. She looked in on Tori, who was sitting in the living room reading a book on her PearPad, and strode up the stairs. The ball of nerves in the bit of her stomach grew as the next few days progressed.

* * *

Two days after her forced-Spa day, while Tori was in a physical therapy session, Jade stalked into Emily Nealson's office and waited for the woman to look up from her computer. Luckily, there was no one else in a session but the office assistant was flustered as she followed after the stormy brunette. She looked helplessly at the doctor, who waved her away and looked at her brusque patient.

"Jade?" Before she could ask any questions, Jade began to speak.

"I was supposed to be with her that day," she said, her breathing shallow and panicky. Emily closed the door to the waiting room and led Jade to the nearby sofa.

"Jade, slow down," the doctor said calmly. "Take a deep breath. And another one. Okay – now, start at the beginning. What's wrong?"

"I was supposed to be with Tori the day she was taken."

"Hey," Emily said, snapping her fingers near her temple. It caused Jade to look her in the eye and focus on something other than the panic. "Listen to me. You know that wouldn't have made a difference. He was waiting for Tori. If he hadn't gotten her that day, it would have been the next one. He'd been following her for days. What happened is not your fault."

"It is," Jade said, tears welling in her eyes and choking her as they rose in her throat. "I should have been there. I was being stupid. I was in a bad mood, so I told Tori I didn't want to spend time with her. But it wasn't that – it was just that I was sad. I'm always sad and I don't know how to change it. I can't remember being happy. Ever. I smile – and I laugh. Because I'm supposed to. I have everything I want – and I know I should be happy. But I don't remember happy." She cried and Emily allowed her, doing nothing more than handing her tissues and refilling her cup of water.

"How long have you wanted to say that out loud?"

"I don't know," Jade cried.

"I think you do. It's okay to not be happy. It's a place to start from – it's all we need." Emily spoke disappeared for a few moments – presumably to cancel her later appointments – and then returned to Jade. She spoke softly for a long time, explaining all of her suspicions that had begun when she'd first met the young artist.

After the tears subsided, Jade clammed up – refusing to discuss the feelings she'd expressed during her meltdown. Emily accepted that but promised they would return to those topics at a later date. By the time she was ready to leave, Jade had calmed down to her normal demeanor but her eyes were still the slightest bit puffy.

"You're a very intelligent, rational person," Emily said, as she was getting ready to talk out the door, "so please tell me you understand that Tori being taken is not your fault."

"I know," Jade said simply.

"Then stop feeling guilty for it," Emily demanded. "And have a good weekend. I'll see you Tuesday."

"Maybe," Jade said airily.

"Tuesday," Emily repeated, smiling before walking Jade into the reception area. The brunette was surprised to find Tori waiting for her, playing what looked to be Grumpy Gerbils on her PearPad. One look at the clock caused Jade to moan; he little meltdown had overshot Tori's appointment by nearly thirty minutes – now she would have to explain herself. Bracing herself for the coming questions, Jade was stunned when Tori said hello and starting walked toward the exit. Jade followed and within the hour they were home and making dinner without one word about her impromptu visit to the therapist or her red eyes.

* * *

That Saturday, Andre arrived for a movie marathon complete with pizza and popcorn. Tori was already stretched out in the living room, ready to watch hours of brat pack movies. Jade and Beck had gone to their room – to do things that Tori really didn't want to think about. Everything was fine through Pretty in Pink as they ate pizza and made fun of the very '80s clothing. Once Sixteen Candles began, Andre scooted closer to her on the sofa, his arm winding around her shoulder. Tori felt her stomach clench. It should not bother her. He was her best friend. It should not bother her. But that knowledge refused to register with her brain. She felt her palms grow sweaty and a lump of nausea settle in her throat.

She felt herself approaching the brink. If she didn't start calming herself soon, she was going to lose it completely. "I- h-h-h-have a r-r-r-really bad h-h-headache," she said quickly, standing from the sofa. Before Andre could answer, she was around the piece of furniture and holding onto the back.

"Can I get you something? What can I do?"

"I just need to lie down," she said shakily. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," he said. "We'll catch up on bad movies from the '80s another time. Can I help you get upstairs?"

"No," Tori said, almost forcefully. "I'll be fine." She made her way up the stairs, her hands shaking as she grasped the railing. Andre didn't follow, but she could feel his eyes watching as she ascended.

Once inside her bedroom, Tori crawled under the covers for the large queen sized bed and cried. All of the anxiety and the panic had morphed into a bitter, aching loneliness that she couldn't rationalize.

An hour or so after Andre left, Tori woke to the feeling of being watched. She sat up abruptly, her eyes focusing on Jade, who was standing in the open doorway. Hair in the loose, messy curls, she was dressed in a black silk nightgown and matching robe.

"The movie marathon ended early," Jade said quietly, wafting into the room and sitting on the cedar chest that was placed at the end of the bed.

"I had a headache," Tori answered. Jade clearly didn't believe her but she remained silent.

"So you're going to sleep in your clothing?"

"Yes," Tori answered grumpily.

"Bad plan," Jade responded. "You change. I'll get the aspirin." While the headache story had been originally no more than a ruse, Tori did find that having fallen asleep crying had left her with an achy feeling. She carefully crawled out of bed and went to the chest of drawers where she located a pair of purple cotton pajamas. She was burrowing back under the covers when Jade returned with a handful of pills and a glass of juice.

Tori groaned at the sight of the blue and yellow pills intermixed with the pain relievers. Jade rolled her eyes and handed them over. "They'll help you sleep," was all she said. Tori knew better than to argue. Besides that, she wasn't sure she wanted to be lucid for the rest of the night. Falling into a pill-induced slumber sounded like her best option.

"Do you think you and Beck could not so clearly have sex while I'm sitting in the living room?" Tori asked grouchily, after she'd taken the pills and slipped back under the covers.

Jade pushed a lock of hair behind her right ear and smirked. "You're _right_. I should definitely not be having sex with _my_ husband in _my_ house. What was I thinking?"

"Just don't make it so obvious," Tori grumbled. Jade laughed.

"We used to do it in the stage crew lounge while class was being held in the Blackbox Theater," Jade told her. "So, really, this is pretty discrete for us."

"I can't un-know that!" Tori cried. Jade laughed again. Andre called the next morning and tried to talk to Tori. Unfortunately, Jade intercepted the call while Tori was in a therapy session. Later that afternoon, once they were taking their daily walk, she brought it up.

"Andre said you wigged out last night," Jade informed Tori. "What happened?"

"Headache," Tori answered simply.

"What really happened?" Jade asked, her voice soft but pressing.

"He touched me," Tori said softly. Instead of butting in and telling her it was okay as Tori expected her to do, Jade nodded and remained silent. "He's touched me before. But this was different. He wants more. And I can't- not now."

"No one expects you to be ready for anything right now," Jade informed her. "Andre made a stupid guy mistake. Don't be too hard on him." To Tori's relief – that was the end of the conversation. At least for the time being.


	11. Tiny Threads

Chapter 11 Tiny Threads

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret

Andre was forgiven, but he never had the opportunity to apologize or discuss what had happened – Tori shut him down instantly any time the event was mentioned. And with Jade continuously waiting in the wings to swoop in and kick him out at the first sign of Tori's distress, he certainly had no option to push the issue. While Tori refused to discuss it, he had received a veritable tongue lashing from Jade. To his surprise, he hadn't been forbidden from seeing Tori again – but then again, Jade had more important issues to attend to; she'd discovered that her husband had drugged her. Beck was so far in the dog house he was worried his wife might start serving him kibble instead of throwing plates of human food in front of him.

That was primarily all that she did for him or with him in the three days after she discovered he'd drugged her wine. She would throw dinner in front of him before taking her own plate to her office to eat by herself. Tori would look uncomfortably between the two before picking up her plate and retreating to the kitchen.

After 72 hours of complete freeze out, Beck had enough. He cornered Jade in her office late on a Thursday evening. She was engrossed in whatever she was writing so his footsteps, though not quiet, went unnoticed. Her eyes shot up when the door closed, curls bouncing from the quick movement of her head. Her blue eyes burned coolly, narrowing as her red lips turned into a deeper frown.

"Go away," Jade said simply.

"No," Beck answered, easily swinging the heavy red sofa to sit squarely in front of the door. He perched on it, eyes focused on his wife.

"That's a fire hazard."

"I think we're safe."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"I understand that. Try anyway."

"I hate what you did."

"But can you see why I did it?" He asked, his voice calm and soft. "You're exhausted and driving yourself to the brink. You won't listen to reason—"

"That doesn't give you the right to make decisions for me, drug me, and threaten me."

"No, it doesn't," Beck agreed. "Does it help if I tell you I regret it? I was desperate. But I regret doing it – I should have found another way to get through that thick skull of yours." She stared at him austerely and he realized his mistake; she was not in a joking mood. He crossed the room and pulled her from the desk chair, ignoring her arguments.

Before she had the chance to break away, he had her held securely in his arms on the sofa. Instead of fighting, she gave in and leaned against his chest, her ear pressed against his soft cotton t-shirt. They were silent for several minutes and she listened to the beating of his heart, wishing hers might be so calm and collected.

"I'm sorry I drugged you and threatened you," Beck said, whispering softly into her ear.

"I'm sorry I don't take care of myself," she responded. "I'll try harder." He pressed his lips against her forehead, kissing her chastely. He hugged her closer, finding a calming reassurance from holding her. "Don't use my parents against me," Jade whispered, pain etched into her voice.

"I won't," Beck responded. "I never should have in the first place. I'm sorry I did. But I need you to be healthy. And you're not getting enough sleep – and you're under so much stress. It's not good for you, babe."

"I'm working on it," she said honestly.

"Anything I can help with?"

"This is nice," she responded, snuggling deeper into his embrace and closing her eyes. He smiled into her hair; sometimes it hit him harder than usual how much he truly loved his wife.

* * *

It was a week later, late in the afternoon, when Jade received a call from the east coast. Cat's agent – who was deathly afraid of Jade – was calling to let her know that Cat's contract was going to be renegotiated on Friday morning. "Are you serious, Wendy? You need to give me more than a half days' notice," Jade spat, walking quickly up the stairs to her bedroom. While the woman verbally backtracked, attempting to apologize, Jade was ripping through her closet, hastily packing a bag.

"I don't want to hear about your inadequacies," Jade said angrily. "I want a flight this evening – after seven – first class – text the details. And make sure a car is waiting for me at JFK." Jade hung up before the woman could answer. As she turned to grab a pair of black suit pants from her closet, she realized Tori was standing in the doorway, looking sleepy and confused.

"Sorry if I woke you," Jade said, her tone clipped. Tori moved to the overstuffed chair in the corner of the room and curled into it, watching as Jade continued her quick but careful ministrations. She was silent while Jade worked. Finally, when the suitcase was closed and lifted to the floor, Tori sat up straighter and looked questioningly at the other brunette.

"W-w-hat are you d-d-doing?"

"Packing, Sherlock," Jade said angrily. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I'm in a mood because Cat's agent just called and told me that they're supposed to be in contract negotiations tomorrow morning. I have to be there. Who knows what those idiots will try to pull over on Cat if she's by herself." Tori looked questioningly at Jade, who sighed again.

"She once agreed to do a national commercial for a year's supply of candy." Tori nodded; she could believe it. "So I have to go. I'm calling Clare – she offered to help out if we needed her for extra time – it would be less weird than getting a stranger in here." Tori nodded again. "And Beck will be home in the evenings."

"W-w-we'll be okay," Tori promised.

"I know," Jade answered. "But it's only for a few days. I should be back late Monday. Cat will be with me – her vacation starts then." Jade spent half an hour making phone calls and arranging everything. She asked Tori to follow her into the kitchen and proceeded to show her a stash of dinners that had been frozen for such occasions. Each glass container had a note on top that explained the contents and how to cook them. It was a fairly fool-proof system.

"Beck would eat pizza for every meal if I let him," she explained. "So you or Clare can throw these in for dinner – and there are plenty of things for breakfast and lunch." Tori nodded. Jade looked at her watch. "I have to go now to catch my flight – Beck won't be home until 7 – are you going to be alright until then?"

"I can handle two hours alone," Tori said seamlessly. After the sentence, she was a bit out of breath, but she'd done it.

"Ok," Jade agreed. She didn't have much of a choice. "Where do you want to go? Living room? Your room?"

"Living room," Tori said, going first to the refrigerator for a bottle of water. She walked carefully into the comfortably elegant room and curled herself into the corner of the sofa. Jade followed her, moving the phone, her Pear Pad, and the remote controls into easy reach.

"You'll stay here until Beck gets home?" Jade asked, clearly nervous.

"I promise," Tori answered. "S-s-stop worrying. Go help Cat."

"Alright," Jade said unhappily. "I'm leaving. If you need anything—"

"I'll be fine," Tori said. "Leave!" She smiled as Jade double checked everything—doors, windows, the alarm system, even the thermostat – before disappearing to the garage with her suitcase and laptop case. Tori curled into the soft gray sofa and turned on a mindless marathon, engrossing herself in several hours of _That '70s Show_. By the time Beck arrived home, she was asleep and didn't wake until she heard clanging in the kitchen. She reached the doorway in time to see Beck struggling to stick something into the oven.

"She doesn't usually let me in here," Beck admitted, after turning around to see Tori.

"She said you can burn water," Tori shared.

"I probably could," he responded. "Sleep well?"

Tori nodded. It had been her third nap of the day, but it had also been necessary. "What's for dinner?"

"Chicken stew," he answered, setting two plates at the kitchen island and moving to the refrigerator to pour drinks for them both. "Clare is coming over later tonight – her usual time – but she'd going stay in case you need something."

Tori bit the corner of her lip as Beck poured two glasses of flavored mineral water. "C-C-Clare does have o-o-other things to do," Tori said. "I'll be okay. She's not working just for us."

"We pay her good money to be here during off hours," Beck answered. "And she appreciates it. She's trying to pay off student loans – and she doesn't mind being here. We've talked about it. Don't worry – no one is taking advantage of anyone."

"I know," Tori said sheepishly. "I just hate to have so many people worried about me all the time."

"We lost you for a long time," Beck reminded her. "Give us a while to loosen up. We're still a little on edge." Tori understood. She couldn't close her eyes without having nightmares and every morning she had to remind herself that she was not in the hell that man had created for her. Lost in thoughts, she jumped as Beck pushed a soft dinner roll into her hand.

Shaking her head, she forced her brain back into the present. "How's the movie?" It was a safe topic and it led to an evening of fun conversation as Beck talked about the brilliant, if neurotic director and his sleazy and flirty costar. Tori smiled and laughed a lot – and for that – they were both grateful.

Clare spent the night in a guest room, despite Tori's assurances that they would be fine without her. It turned out to be for the best as Beck had forgotten to give her one of her pills. It was one of the blue sleeping pills – the one that kept the dreams at bay. Tori didn't realize the omission until she woke the entire house with screams at three that morning. Clare approached the bed carefully, trying to wake her by calling her name. Tori fought the night terrors for several minutes, her entire frame wracked with sobs. Beck stood in the doorway, his hands buried in his hair as he watched helplessly.

Clare brought her the sleeping pill, a valium, and a glass of water. Tori gulped in all down in between sobs. She curled in on herself, facing away from the concerned therapist and nervous friend.

"Can I get you anything else?" Clare asked. Tori shook her head and closed her eyes, ignoring them until she heard them leaving and turning out the light. She realized soon enough that while Clare returned to the guest room, Beck sat down heavily in the glider Jade frequented. Eventually he did fall to sleep, leaving Tori alone with her thoughts and the darkness. Despite the pills she'd taken, Tori never did sleep. Her hands were still shaking and her heart felt fluttery when Clare opened the blinds at eight the next morning.

Tori was in the middle of eating a bowl of fruit when Clare propped her PearPad in front of her, revealing a FaceTime Session with Jade.

"Hi," Tori said quickly. Clare disappearing, offering a bit of privacy.

"Well," Jade drawled unhappily, "you look like crap." Tori glared but Jade continued. "What happened?"

"Nightmare," Tori said softly, avoiding Jade's eyes. "How is Cat?"

"Clueless," Jade answered with a smirk. Tori smiled when she heard an irate "hey!" sound from Cat. "But with a decent contract. We were able to get an earlier flight, so I'll be home early Sunday." Before Jade signed off, she ordered Tori back to bed and told Clare to cancel the day's appointments. Tori, relieved, crawled into her bed and slept away the rest of the day, the litany of correct pills keeping the nightmares at bay.

That Sunday morning, when Jade arrived home, she was not alone. Cat and Robbie trailed behind her, both looking sufficiently exhausted. It probably had something to do with the fact that Jade had forced them onto a redeye flight. Tori and Beck greeted them in the front hall, Beck quickly moving in to kiss his wife and lighten her of the laptop case and suitcase. Cat offered Tori a warm hug and walked up the stairs directly to her bedroom, leaving her bag in the foyer for someone else to worry over.

Robbie stood awkwardly off to the side, his eyes flitting back and forth between everything in the foyer – everything and everyone other than Tori. Finally, the woman in question walked over to him and hugged him, releasing him of all the anxiety and stress of knowing what to do or say. She felt his sobs before she heard them and she found herself in an odd position that she hadn't encountered in a decent amount of time – comforting someone else.

"I'm going to be okay," she promised him, hugging him with all her might.

"I'm sorry," he sniveled. "I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"It's okay," she assured him. "You're here now." If Jade and Beck noticed that she hadn't stuttered in the entire time they'd been standing in the foyer, they kept it to themselves. Beck picked up Jade's things in one hand and pulled the other arm around her shoulders, directing her up the stairs to their bedroom. Tori hugged Robbie again and carefully starting walking into the living room, her hand finding his. They spent the morning sitting across from one another on the sofa while she answered his questions and asked her own.

Around lunch time, Cat woke from her nap and reappeared in the living room around the time that Beck and Jade did. They all sat around in the kitchen while Jade made lunch and Cat set the table on the back deck. They ate in relative peace while Cat chattered on about one bit of happiness or another. Having her at the table gave everyone else a break from communicating much.

By the time she was finished with her sandwich and vegetable chips, Tori was spent. She excused herself from the table and disappeared into her room to take a nap. Cat ran across the back lawn to visit with the neighbor's dogs, three golden retrievers who loved her dearly, Her exit left Back, Jade, and Robbie sitting on the back deck, nursing glasses of iced tea and lemonade in the brilliant California sunshine,

"She's so thin." It was the first of many thoughts that had occurred to Robbie.

"She's gained 15 pounds since she was found," Jade informed him, making his eyes grow wide. He was surprised, but he couldn't possible understand what the fifteen pounds looked like. Jade knew. She remembered the clear definition of each of Tori's ribs, the angular cut of her cheek bones, the sharp angles of her elbows and knees. Fifteen pounds had made a huge difference.

"The guy who had her – he's in jail?"

"Bail was refused," Beck answered. "But he's pleading not guilty. And Tori's the only victim he left alive." They spent the next hour talking about the pending trial and Tori's recovery. When Cat returned from her romp with the dogs, the subject was dropped in favor of sunny, bright conversation. It was a habit they all tended to gravitate toward around the petite redhead.

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Robbie has appeared. In futher chapters, it will be explained why he wasn't there earlier (and why no one is angry with him about the absence). Thank you so much for those of you who have been reading and reviewing – it always adds more inspiration to know that others are enjoying the story as much as I am enjoying writing it. Please share your thoughts on this installment. Happy reading!


	12. Sing Anyway

There is a piece of this chapter that was one of the first scenes – if not the first scene – I wrote in this story. See if you can pick it out. Thank you so, so much for those of you who have been reviewing – especially for the handful of you who have been reading and reviewing since Chapter 1. You are appreciated! Here is chapter 12 - I hope you enjoy!

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Chapter 12 Sing Anyway

"Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway." ~Emory Austin

Robbie and Cat had gone to the zoo that morning while Tori had her therapy sessions. The four friends planned to meet for a late lunch and spend the afternoon watching a movie and playing mini-golf, much to Jade's dismay. The first two appointments with the physical therapist and psychiatrist were at the hospital. They returned to the Oliver home by ten thirty in the morning and Tori had half an hour to shower and change before the speech therapist arrived.

Five minutes into the session – the last for the day – Jade interrupted. "I think you should try something different," Jade said, standing up from her spot across the room. The speech therapist annoyed her, so she usually sat in on her sessions with Tori. Not that she was qualified to offer any professional advice, but Jade had noticed – without surprise – that music had an effect on Tori. And if she was still the same girl she was before disappearing, the speech therapist was going about these sessions all wrong.

Jade moved to the piano bench and pulled out a book that had been hand-bound. Tori remembered it immediately; they had each received a copy when they'd graduated from Hollywood Arts. It contained all of the original songs that their graduating class had written and performed. Jade had two copies of the book, one that belonged to her and one that was Beck's. She handed one to Tori and placed the other on the piano.

"I don't think I can," Tori said tremulously, leafing through the thick white pages. She stopped on her favorite song – her first song at Hollywood Arts. Jade began playing the introduction. Tori shook her head and closed the book.

"I c-c-c-can't-t-t-t- can't."

"Stop arguing," Jade said sharply. "Sing the song." Tori's eyes misted over but Jade wasn't letting it go. She played the introduction again and Tori missed it. The third time, she entered in a soft, tremulous voice. "You sound ridiculous," Jade warned her sharply. "Sing, for God's sake." The speech therapist was about to interrupt when Tori belted the next note and soared into the second verse, her raspy, throaty voice replaced by something much deeper – something Jade recognized from high school. Not a word was stuttered and the quality of her voice was amazing considering how she sounded when she merely spoke.

After Jade played the last bar, Tori dissolved into tears, folding into herself, hugging her knees to her chest. Jade closed the fall of the baby grand and sat on the sofa next to the other brunette, rubbing her back in soft circles. "See?" Jade asked softly. "You did beautifully. You can do this." She let Tori cry for a few minutes before standing up and patting her lightly on the back. "Now stop sniveling." Jade walked into the kitchen and began rooting through the refrigerator to decide what she was making for dinner.

"Miss West," Candice Evans said briskly. Jade looked up at the speech therapist and cocked an eyebrow; she didn't like this woman's tone. At all. Placing a bag of tomatoes on the island, Jade closed the refrigerator and looked at the other woman, waiting for her to continue. "You can't speak to her like that."

"Excuse me?" Jade said, smirking just a bit.

"Do you know what she's been through? How can you treat her like that?"

"First of all," Jade said, in a dangerously low voice. "Please remember that I employ you. And you are getting very close to being unemployed. Mind your own damn business when you are in this house. Second," she continued sharply. "That woman," she jabbed her thumb toward the living room, "is one of the most vibrant, lively, and talented people I have ever met. She's not going to get that back if people keep coddling her. So stop wasting my time and do your job so she can have her life back." The woman stood, her jaw dropped open in shock. Jade took a step closer. "And my name is _Mrs._ West. Now get out of my kitchen."

The therapy session was wrapped up fairly quickly after that, Candice showing herself out while Tori curled into the living room sofa, exhausted. Jade finished her dinner preparations and found Tori. Sitting on the edge of the sofa, Jade looked down at her almost apologetically.

"I was a little harsh," she allotted.

"I kind of expect it from you," Tori answered simply. It wasn't a judgmental tone, only an understanding one. 'But y-y-you should b-b-be nicer to p-p-people."

"I'm nicer to most people. I don't like her."

"I know," Tori answered with a small smile. Jade had been perfectly clear about her feelings for the speech therapist from the very beginning. Her eyes fluttered closed as she curled more deeply around one of the throw pillows. "I'm really tired." Jade knew immediately she was trying to beg out of their planned afternoon. Above the resigned knowledge that she had to attend her many medical appointments, Tori had shown no interest in leaving the house since she'd moved in.

"Cat will be beside herself if we don't show up," Jade reminded her. "Let's compromise. We'll meet them for a late lunch and a movie – they can go mini golfing without us while you take a nap." Tori nodded and yawned. Jade smirked. "So I take it you're staying here?" Tori nodded again. Jade pulled a thick quilt from the back of the sofa and laid it gently over Tori, who was already asleep. She called Cat to update her on the plan and curled into a nearby chair with her PearPad to read a new book.

They did meet for lunch and enjoyed themselves immensely. Robbie was even funnier than Tori remembered; college had done a lot to help him grow up – so most of the awkwardness had left his system. He told her about his newest job – as an intern writer for a sketch comedy. He had spent the past three months touring with them, writing skits as they traveled across Europe and parts of Asia. As a mere minion of those great and powerful, he hadn't been able to break away until they arrived back in the United States. He could only stay in California for a week before returning to New York and get back to work.

His stories of the comedians he worked for were simply hilarious and they were rolling with laughter through lunch. The atmosphere was happy and light until a member of the paparazzi recognized Jade and descended on the table, demanding to know when her next album would be released. Jade – surprising the rest of the group – asked him simply to leave and respect her privacy. He hesitated and it was enough – his eyes widened as he realized the identity of the other brunette.

"You're Tori Vega – you were the girl who was missing all that time. What happened? Where were you? Would you do an interview for—"

"You need to leave," Jade said more firmly. When he refused and instead snapped another picture of a bewildered Tori, Jade calmly waved down a waitress and asked for a manager. The photographer was escorted from the restaurant but they all knew it was too late – the damage had been done.

It was with a subdued mood that they entered the movies. She attempted to be quiet about it, but they could all see that Jade spent a majority of the time texting furiously on her cell phone, attempting damage control. The event wasn't mentioned again but it weighed heavily on all of them as they ate dinner. Jade and Beck disappeared into her office for most of the evening. Tori, Cat, Robbie, and Andre – who had joined them for dinner – curled up on the living room sofas and watched a slew of comedies through the evening.

Tori felt the other shoe was dropping when Jade and Beck both entered her room that evening, he looking grim and she flushed with anger. Jade slid onto the bed next to Tori and Beck took the nearby glider, sitting forward and clasping his hands together. "We just got off the phone with Linley and Addie," Jade said, referencing her agent and their lawyer. "There's really nothing we can do to keep the pictures from the tabloids. Apparently killing the photographer isn't legal," she added dryly.

"The only thing that might put us back in control is to give a statement – get the story out there before the pictures go to press."

Tori looked up in surprise. She hadn't even told them most of what had happened – she certainly wasn't prepared to speak to a bunch of strangers about it.

"If you want to leave it alone and see what happens, we'll respect that," Beck continued.

"But if you want to try head off the tabloids, we can give Addie a statement to present to the news stations and papers," Jade offered. Tori nodded slowly; she couldn't bear to be chased down by photographers and journalists. If putting a piece of the story out was going to keep her insulated, then that was what she needed to do.

Beck brought out Jade's computer and she worked for a solid chunk of time – writing, erasing, and rewording. Finally, she had a simply, eloquently scripted statement. She showed it to Tori, who nodded silently and slid under the covers, curling onto her side. Speaking wasn't necessary – she was clearly finished with the day.

The next morning, Tori was surprised when the sun woke her instead of Jade. It was past ten – well beyond the physical therapy appointment she'd thought she'd had that morning. Dressing in a pair of jeans and a loose purple t-shirt, she walked down the back stairs and into the kitchen. It was mysteriously empty so she grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and kept walking until she heard voices in the living room.

Addie Fisher, the lawyer Jade and Beck had hired for her, was sitting in an arm chair, tapping expertly on a PearPad while talking briskly to Jade. The writer and musician was paying some attention, but most of her brain was diverted to watching out the window, from where Tori realized she could see Cat and Robbie doing – well – something. From her perspective, all that Tori knew was that a lot of jumping was involved on Cat's part – and that could mean anything.

"You're awake," Jade said, looking up in surprise as Tori walked in. Bright blue eyes darted to her watch and she scowled. "Sorry – I didn't realize how late it was. I cancelled your physical therapy appointment. We're waiting for the DA to approve this statement so we can send it in and get it over with."

"Hi, Tori," Addie said brightly. Tori smiled slightly and waved before wandering back into the kitchen. She was preparing a bowl of oatmeal when Jade appeared and took over.

"I can make it," Tori responded gruffly. Jade stepped back and lifted her hands in mock surrender.

"Okay," Jade said. "Are you alright?" Tori looked at her sideways and she bit her lip.

"Sorry. Stupid question. Did you sleep okay?" Tori nodded.

"W-w-what's Cat doing?"

"Harassing the butterflies that live in that bush. But it keeps her busy, so the butterflies are on their own. After the DA leaves, we were planning on going to Watts Towers – is that okay?"

Tori looked at Jade as though she'd sprouted five heads and moved to the table, carrying her bowl of oatmeal. Jade sat next to her and continued harping on the subject. "You can't stay in the house just because of an annoying tabloid."

"Give me a few days," Tori argued, her speech sharp and clear.

At the clear conviction in her voice, Jade acquiesced quickly. Once the DA had called her approval on the statement, Addie took it and dispersed it to the most reputable news agencies; they hoped it would beat the tabloid pictures.

That evening, after Robbie and Cat returned from their adventures, the six friends sat down for a quiet dinner. Afterward, they want into the living room to view the damage. Addie's press release was being shown on the news. Tori sat on one of the plush sofas, surrounded on both sides by Jade and Cat. Beck sat on the floor, his arm draped over his wife's lap and their fingers intertwined. Andre and Robbie took nearby arm chairs and they all settled in to watch.

Twenty minutes and many mindless segments passed before the anchor said something that made them all tune in closely. "We have a breaking story regarding a girl who disappeared from Hollywood nearly three years ago," she said ominously. A picture of Tori flashed onto the screen, smiling widely in the headshots she'd had done senior year. The next minutes gave quick, clinical details on the deaths of her parents and her disappearance. A college professor was interviewed when she'd originally disappeared, gushing about her talent and promise in performance.

The montage of segments blended back to the anchor, who said, "earlier today, we received a statement from friends of Ms. Vega. After being held against her will for three years, she was quietly returned home just over three months ago and is said to be recovering in the home of childhood friends and Hollywood power couple Jade West and Beck Oliver."

The screen flashed through several pictures while she spoke, one of the three together during a high school performance, once of Beck and Jade on the red carpet before a music award show, and finally a picture of Jade and Tori on one of their daily walks. Tori tensed; she'd always felt safe inside the gated neighborhood – but someone had taken their picture without either of them noticing. Cat, sensing her unease, grasped her hand and cuddled into her side. "You look pretty in that color," she offered as condolence, noting the peach colored t-shirt she'd paired with black yoga pants on the day the picture had been taken. Tori smiled slightly, her thanks for the distraction.

"Jade West and Beck Oliver – through their lawyer – have released a statement announcing Vega's homecoming and requesting privacy during her recovery. The full statement can be read on our website." She paused before continuing, "we here at channel 23 send our best wishes to Ms. Vega – we are happy to hear you are safe and where you belong. Welcome home." After the second anchor moved into a piece about a local farmer's market, Beck turned off the set and looked up at Tori, who looked oddly calm.

"That's it," she said, almost questioningly.

"That's it," Beck replied.

"Now what?"

"We hope they respect your wishes," Jade said simply. They all knew the alternative was harsh. The past few months had been difficult for Tori and she'd made great strides; but being followed constantly by paparazzi would make the remainder of her recovery unbearable. Jade hoped that her lack of faith in Hollywood's propriety and ethics was more cynicism than realism.

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I hope you enjoyed the chapter – please share your thoughts.


	13. Keep Your Face to the Sun

I wanted to take a moment to say Happy Birthday to Invader Johnny (on Monday). Hope you have a wonderful day! Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I hope you all enjoy the next installment.

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Chapter 13 – Keep Your Face to the Sun

"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow." ~Helen Keller

"I don't want to press charges," Tori cried angrily, "I want this to all go away." Stalking into the living room and away from the small congregation in the kitchen, she threw herself against the sofa cushions. Jade was quick to follow.

"Well it's not going to," Jade responded, just as loudly. Her blue eyes sparked with anger, her frame tense as she glared at the crumple figure of Tori. Addie Fisher and Beck had followed the two women and were standing slightly to the side, watching the scene unfold. "Letting them get away with that kind of negligence is unacceptable. And you know it."

"I can't do this anymore," Tori said angrily, her words muffled by the pillows. "I can't be okay for you. This is too much – I'm not going to make it through one trial, let alone two."

"You are going to make it through this trial," Jade said, more a harsh demand the usually encouraging gentleness. "Now stop acting like a child and get up." Her voice was tougher than Beck had heard it in a long time and he stopped forward, gently taking hold of her arm.

"Jade—"

"No," Jade roared at hime. "Enough is enough. This trial is going to happen and she needs to be ready."

"I don't think yelling is the way to make that happen," Beck responded softly, pulling her tightly against his chest. Tori was sobbing against the sofa cushions. The tears were hot and angry in vast contrast to her usual sadness or frustration. Addie stood by uncomfortably, not sure what to do or say. She wasn't even comfortable moving from her current spot.

The young lawyer had arrived that evening with what she'd thought would be good news. The district attorney was prepared to press charges against the welfare department. The man who had kept Tori and countless other girls hostage and tortured them to - or close to - death had been under probation for a prior sexual assault charge. At the time he was arrested, he had not checked in with the parole board for over four years. It had never been reported to the correct administration. If it had been, he would have been arrested, his home would have been searched, and those girls would have been found.

Jade and Beck had responded positively to the news, content that someone was going to be forced to take responsibility for allowing such a horrific thing to happen. Tori had responded quite differently than anyone had expected. She was completely distraught. And Jade had apparently snapped and, for the first time in months, was not being helpful.

It only took her a few moments to cool down and realize what she had said – and the fact that at least some of Tori's tears were her fault. She pulled away from Beck and knelt next to the sofa. "I'm sorry," she said simply, the edge removed from her voice. "Please, get up. We need to talk about this rationally."

"I'm not okay. I can't be okay right now."

"Of course you're not okay right now," Jade responded judiciously. "But that doesn't mean you quit," she added sharply. "That means you fight. So please, get up and listen to what Addie has to say."

"I can't. Not right now," Tori sobbed.

"I can come back in the morning," Addie said, finally finding her voice. Beck nodded and she was out of the room quickly, before Jade could add her opinion. Beck knelt behind his wife and put a hand on her shoulder.

"I think," he said carefully, "that you two need some time to yourselves. Apart," he added clearly. "This week has been really stressful with the paparazzi everywhere. So, can we just go to bed and talk about this tomorrow?" Jade didn't answer. Her jaw was tensed in anger and frustration but she knew Beck was right – she wasn't in the mindset to discuss anything calmly.

Before anyone made a move to go upstairs, the front door opened and they heard a tell-tale giggle. Cat skipped into the room carrying a milkshake that Jade would need to yell at Robbie for later. Robbie followed behind, a smile firmly in place. Both expressions fell when they saw Tori splayed on the sofa, clearly crying.

"What happened?" Cat asked, crestfallen.

"It's been a long night. Everything is fine," Beck assured her. Tori let out a strangled cry that did not help sell that point to Cat or Robbie.

"What's going on?" Robbie asked suspiciously.

"It's not something we're getting into tonight," Beck said firmly. "Everyone is going to bed." He felt a bit like he was channeling his father the few times he'd sent Beck and his sister to bed for misbehaving. But he truly didn't know what else to do but get everyone to their own separate corners. "Cat, why don't you take Tori upstairs?" he suggested.

"I can go upstairs by myself," Tori said angrily, standing up from the sofa and pushing past them quickly. She wasn't as fast once she reached the stairs, but it was clear enough that she didn't want help.

"Okay," Beck whistled under his breath. "Cat, Robbie, goodnight."

"Good night," Cat said sadly, tears appearing at the edges of her wide eyes.

"It really is fine," Jade promised her, allowing her a hug. "We're just all tired and cranky. I'll make you a cup of tea and bring it upstairs, okay?" Cat nodded and disappeared up the stairs to her suite of rooms. Robbie stood uncomfortably in the living room, not sure what to say or do.

"Sugar this late at night?" Jade asked him harshly. "Really? She doesn't sleep as it is."

"Sorry," Robbie said glumly. "I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"'night, Rob," Beck said again, but Jade ignored him, walking straight into the kitchen to put a mug of water in the microwave. A few minutes later, she'd made a cup of chamomile tea with half a sleeping pill dissolved inside. Beck watched her, his expression doubtful.

"What?" Jade asked sharply. "She'll be up until five in the morning otherwise. Do you want to be awake all night? Because you know she won't let us sleep when she can't." Beck didn't answer, but he also didn't stop her from delivering the tea to Cat; he had shared a home with the tiny redhead long enough to know that he did not want her awake all night. People said weird things at three in the morning. Cat's thoughts at three in the morning were off the charts.

It took Jade over an hour to convince Cat that everything was fine and calm her down enough that she would sleep. Exhausted, Jade stumbled to her own bedroom and crawled into bed after taking only enough time to brush her teeth and change into a nightgown. By the time Beck sidled in next to her and pulled his arms around her slim frame, she was sleeping.

The next morning was a sunny Saturday and Jade remained in bed long after her alarm sounded. Beck got up, dressed, and disappeared from the room and still she remained curled under the covers, not certain that she ever wanted to leave the protective womb of the king sized bed again. Ever.

She was contemplating the possibility of living the next sixty or seventy years without leaving her bed when the door opened and an unexpected person popped out from behind it. Emily Nealson was not supposed to be in her bedroom. On a Saturday. In jeans. The woman was clearly not intending to work that day as she had donned jeans, a black sleeveless blouse, and black sandals adorned with flowers. It was more casual than her usual weekday look. It annoyed Jade. She had no desire to know how this woman dressed in her free time.

Catching an edge of her lavender and gray comforter in her left hand, Jade pulled it over her head and rolled onto her side, facing away from the door.

"Hello to you too," Emily said cheerfully.

"Go away," Jade.

"Eh," she said in mock consideration. "Your husband offered me a lot of money not to."

Jade glared at the inside of her bedspread and did not lose sight of the fact that she was being childish; something she had accused Tori of the night before. She remained in the same position for what felt like eternity. If she'd had a watch or cell phone within viewing distance, she would have known it was a mere ten minutes. Ten minutes of silence, of knowing that someone was waiting for her to speak; ten minutes was all it took to break her.

"I lost my temper," Jade said, pushing back the covers ever so slightly. Emily was sitting on a desk chair that she'd dragged closer to the bed. She nodded her head, indicating that she was listening – and waiting for more than those four words. "I don't know what happened. I didn't want to be angry with her – I know she's upset and frustrated and afraid – but I just lost it. I was so angry and I don't know where it came from. How the hell is she supposed to trust me if I lose my temper?"

"You're human," Emily reminded her gently. "One under a particularly large amount of stress. You can't keep it together all the time – no one can. This is why I've been telling you to take time for yourself – to take breaks. When we don't give ourselves time to relax and unwind, we end up doing things like lashing out at people we care about."

"As a professional, I don't think you're allowed to say "I told you so,"" Jade said dryly.

"If the shoe fits," Emily quipped lightly. "Now that you realize I'm right and you should listen to me more often, tell me what happened last night."

Jade explained Addie's visit and the possibility of pressing criminal and civil charges against the state parole department. Emily peppered her explanation with questions about her feelings and reactions and by the time she finished, Jade was exhausted again – as though she'd never slept.

"I spoke to Tori before I came up here. Isabelle is out of town this weekend, so when Beck called, she asked me to stop in. She's terrified about this trial. I know you understand that – but you have to remember it every minute. She's not trying to be difficult – she can't comprehend facing him again."

"It has to happen," Jade said stubbornly.

"It does," Emily agree. "But you don't need to be the enforcer. The DA is going to get her to the trial. You need to support her – not push her. Not right now, at least."

While Jade spoke with Emily and Beck was in the garage working on his classic car, Robbie and Cat were attempting to cheer Tori. They had donned swimming suits and were splashing around the beautiful swimming pool. Try as they may, they hadn't been able to convince Tori to get into the pool. She sat on the edge, her feet dangling in the water as she watched Cat and Robbie play.

To her surprise, Tori realized someone was sitting next to her. Jade, who had changed into a black swimsuit, sunglasses, and a wide brimmed hat, dangled her feet into the pool next to Tori and watched their friends.

"I'm sorry," Jade said eventually. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"It's okay," Tori said quietly. "I get mad at myself. I'm trying – I really am."

"I know," Jade responded, her fingers wrapping around Tori's left hand. "But you shouldn't have to try so hard – not here. And not with me." She paused and watched Robbie perform an ill-executed cannon ball. Luckily for him, he was far enough away that he didn't splash Jade. That would have ended badly.

She pushed a piece of dark brown hair behind her ear and took a deep breath before speaking again. "As for the welfare trial, that's going to be up to you. If you'd rather not press charges – that's okay. It can wait until after the criminal trial and you can see how you feel about it then."

"Thank you." Tori said softly.

"Now, do me a favor," Jade said, clearly moving onto another topic. Tori looked at her curiously. "Go upstairs and change into a suit. Not one person in this house cares about those scars. You are beautiful – and you shouldn't be missing out because you think otherwise." Jade knew that previous to her abduction, swimming had been one of Tori's favorite pass times. There was little possibility that she was happy sitting on the sidelines while others were enjoying the water.

Tori's eyes misted and she turned away. "Tori," Jade said softly. "Please. If you stop living your life because of what he did – he wins. Take back your life. If you want to swim, then swim." Tori was still crying when she stood up and walked into the house. Jade worried that she'd pushed too hard – again. Twenty minutes later, she realized it had been okay. A smile pulled at her lips as Tori walked back toward them, a towel in her arms.

They spent the afternoon playing in the pool – eventually even Beck joined them. And not once did Tori think about her scars after she'd stepped into the water.

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If you would like to read another great story – please stop over and read Blue Penguin Lightning's "Survive." It is the first part in a trilogy and is one of the most interesting twists I've read on an earthquake story yet. As is written in the summary, the earthquake in "Andre's Horrible Girl" is the least of their worries. Fantastic – trust me – go read it!

Thank you again for reading and reviewing. Please let me know what you think. Is it too melodramatic? (It's hard to stay away from the melodramatic because of the topic, but I'm trying). Do you think everyone is in character? (Or as close to in-character as they can be as adults)?


	14. Sparks of Hope

Two stories updated in one day. Granted, most people probably won't be too excited because they are in different fandoms - but I am excited. So I needed to share. Here is chapter 14 - I hope you enjoy. coming up next - a trip - a trial - and plenty of tribulations. Happy Reading - and as always, please let me know what you think!

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Chapter 14 Sparks of Hope

"A spark of hope, in sorrow's place will shine, with such amazing grace,"

From Stronger than Before by Olivia Newton John

Saturday afternoon found Jade and Cat packing for the latter's trip back to Broadway. The redhead was particularly quiet, Jade noted as she folded clothing and placed it into the obnoxiously bright pink suitcase.

Suddenly, she spoke in a quick burst of rapid words. "I want to stay here," she said, her hands wrapped around a pink sweater she was preparing to hand to Jade. The brunette looked up in surprise.

"I thought you liked your job."

"I do," Cat answered. "But I don't want to live in New York anymore. I miss it here."

"Are you sure?" Jade asked. "You have to live in New York to be on Broadway. And you love Broadway. It's a lot to give up."

"I love it sooo much," Cat agreed. "But I don't want to be by myself in New York anymore." Jade sighed and sat on the bed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she attempted to relieve a growing stress headache. She knew Cat was lonely; she had known it since the smaller girl had moved to the east coast; but her dream was Broadway while Jade and Beck's careers depended on the LA film industry.

And despite her sometimes palpable loneliness, Cat had never before not wanted to go back to New York. This was a first. Jade feared it had to do with Cat's concern for Tori instead of clear thinking about her own life and career.

"Cat, we need to think about this," Jade informed her. "Right now, they're expecting you to star in the show Monday night. So you need to go back and do this next part of the run. But if you still feel like you want to come back to LA at the end of the next two weeks, we'll see what we can do." Cat nodded; she knew she wasn't going to get Jade to agree immediately. But now that the seed was planted, the redhead knew that she was as good as homebound.

That evening was a somber one as Cat and Robbie both prepared to leave. Tori cried tears that, for once, had nothing to do with pain or frustration. After saying goodbye and hugging both, she took the sleeping pill that she had requested and cried herself to sleep.

"She'll be fine," Jade assured them both. It might not have been the whole truth at the time, but it barely mattered. They both needed to return to New York or risk losing good jobs. Beck drove them to the airport for their redeye flight and Jade walked around the house, tidying signs of Cat. The woman certainly could change a home in a short time. She'd moved chairs and left musical instruments in a variety of odd places. There were bubble wands mixed in with utensils and a seemingly endless supply of pink and other brightly colored hair bows drifting through the house.

The next morning, Tori realized she wasn't alone. For the first time in weeks, Jade had fallen asleep in the glider pulled close to the bed. As was her strange ability, she woke as soon as she felt Tori's eyes on her. "Good morning," Jade said, her voice laced with exhaustion. "Feeling better?"

Tori nodded. She knew Robbie and Cat couldn't stay - she was even slightly surprised by her outburst from the night before. Although part of it was a desire for the two to stay (for they had a great ability to keep spirits high), another part of her was terrified for the coming week. She was having laparoscopic surgery to repair some of the damage to her uterus and fallopian tubes. In addition, the DA wanted to meet with her - and it would be the first time since she'd visited in the hospital months before.

July was not a rainy month in LA. in fact, it almost never rained during the summer months. However, on the morning of Tori's surgery, rain was falling in torrents from a rumbling sky. It was three in the morning when Jade sprang out of bed after a measly three hours of sleep and prepared herself for the day. By four, Tori and her bag were in backseat of the car and Beck was driving toward the hospital with Jade beside him.

Tori was nervous to say the least. She hadn't spoken that morning and her hands shook when they weren't grasping tightly at the bag in her lap. When they arrived at the hospital, Beck pulled up to the front door and let them out. Tori's legs didn't want to hold her and if it hadn't been for Jade, she would have ended up on the ground outside the car. She leaned heavily onto the other brunette as she tried to regain her footing. Jade tried to calm her with reassuring words as she led her toward the entrance.

Within twenty minutes, Tori was checked into a private room and being prepped for surgery. Dr. Brown entered the room just after six and smiled gently. "The nurses keep telling me about this blood pressure of yours," she said, looking down at Tori. "I know you're worried - but I promise we wouldn't be doing this right now if I thought your body couldn't handle it."

Tori bit her lip but didn't answer; she was sure she couldn't speak without crying. "The anesthesiologist will be here in a few minutes and before you know it, it will be over. If all goes according to plan, you'll be home in two days." The procedure was usually done on an outpatient basis but because of Tori's recently storied medical history, it had been decided that she needed to be put under completely - which meant staying an extra two nights in the hospital.

Twenty minutes later, Tori was asleep and on a gurney being wheeled into an operating room. It was Jade's turn to worry incessantly. She and Beck sat in the waiting room closest to the operating room and she flipped nervously through the stations on the television. Beck looked up when the flipping stopped. She had paused on a station when her picture was clearly displayed. Turning the volume up, she settled against him to watch.

"Sources indicate that Tori Vega, who has been missing for three years and recently returned to live with high school friends Jade West and Beck Oliver, has been admitted to Cedars Sinai Medical Center. A reason has not been confirmed but our cameras caught Mr. Oliver entering the facility a bit before five this morning. Oliver is best known-" She turned off the television in disgust.

"Why can't they leave us alone?"

"Because we are really pretty people," Beck told her lightly, trying for a smile. He failed, but she was calmer as she curled deeper into his arms to continue the wait.

Tori woke to a dry mouth and a sharp pain in her abdomen. She whimpered as she rolled onto her side and away from the sunlight. Carefully, her eyes blinked open and she saw that Jade and Beck were sitting on the loveseat across the room. He was reading a book and she was curled into his lap, sleeping. Her recovery was quick and before the second day was out, she was forced to go to her normal physical therapy appointments – much to her grumbling dismay. She was home by Thursday evening in her own bed but it didn't help her sleep much.

On Friday morning, Tori woke from a restless night and dressed in a pair of beige dress pants and a soft blue sweater. Dangling sapphires from her wrists, neck, and ears, she continued with her makeup and hair. When she walked into the kitchen, she realized she had taken longer than she'd expected. The district attorney was already there, sipping coffee and eating one of Jade's cinnamon rolls. Upon seeing Tori, she stood and offered her hand.

"Ms. Vega," she said, "it's great to see you. You look wonderful."

"Thanks," Tori said shyly. "And Ms. Vega is weird. You can call me Tori."

"Well, then," the woman answered. "Please call me Jenna." Tori nodded and sat at the table, accepting a cup of tea and a cinnamon roll from Jade. There was a handful of pills placed on the tea saucer that she addressed first. "As I was telling Mrs. Oliver, we are confident that we have a tight case against Mr. Kennedy. However, in order to assure he is convicted, we do need your testimony. Tori nodded; she knew there was no way the trial wouldn't involve her. She was the only surviving victim. "As your lawyer has requested, I am trying to get the judge to agree to take a taped testimony. That way, you wouldn't have to testify at the actual trial - it would be recorded ahead of time. You would still need to be in the courtroom for the trial, but it may help a bit." Tori nodded; it was better than the alternative.

"His lawyer is asking for a change in jurisdiction. He's claiming that - because of your connections to Mr. and Mrs. Oliver - a fair trial would be impossible. I don't expect the judge to go for it. But if he does, you may need to travel for the trial." After twenty minutes of discussion that Tori didn't bother to follow, the woman began to ask her questions.

"The defense attorney – whether questioning you before the trial or during – is not going to care about hurting your feelings or upsetting you. He's going to try to make it sound like your fault. That you wanted it." Tori looked simply terrified but the woman continued speaking. "But you need to remember – that is his job. And I will object as much as possible and try to keep him from attacking your story—"

"It's not a story," Tori said firmly.

"I know that," Jenna responded. "I saw you in the hospital – I've gone through the case file more times than I can count. I know that every word you're saying is true. But the defense will try to turn your words into fiction – and you need to be ready for that mentally. I need you to remember that even though he seems to be trying to discredit you, there are very few –if any – people in that court room who will doubt you. The people who matter – your friends – your family – they know the truth. And when I'm finished doing my job – the rest of the world will know. And that bastard won't have a leg to stand on." If Tori was shocked at her language, it didn't show. Jenna looked directly at Tori. "Can you help me?" She nodded; she would do her best. She hoped that was enough.

A week after the surgery and three days after her meeting with the District Attorney, Tori had a follow up appointment with Dr. Brown. The woman had taken her white coat off before entering the room in an effort to appease Tori's nerves. It didn't help much; neither did the Xanax Tori had swallowed the night before and then again that morning. Dr. Brown asked her a few rudimentary questions and then offered a tightlipped smile. "I know you don't want to hear this – but I need to do an exam to make sure the procedure worked." Tori knew that would be the case but it didn't stop the color from draining from her cheeks, leaving her stark white against her dark brown hair.

Tori did as she was asked, climbing onto the exam table and scooting down so her feet were in stirrups. She thought she might pass out when the doctor picked up her foot, bent her leg at the knee, and placed it into a knee crutch. As she did the same with her right leg, Tori turned her head to the side, tears streaming down her cheeks. Jade stood next to her, back to the doctor, focused on trying to keep Tori calm.

"Sweetheart, did you take the Xanax this morning?" the doctor asked. She could feel Tori shaking severely and knew it was going to be nearly impossible to get the exam done under the current circumstances.

"Forty milligrams this morning and forty last night," Jade answered, turning her head slightly to look at the doctor. Dr. Brown removed her legs from the crutches, pulled up the end of the table so she could rest in a normal position, and pulled a thick blanket over Tori.

"I'm going to call Dr. Greeley. We can't have you going into shock during the exam. Just try to rest for a few minutes – we'll get this figured out." The woman left the room and the damn holding back Tori's tears broke. Jade sat on the edge of the exam table and held her as she cried, offering whatever soothing words and assurances that came to mind.

Within ten minutes, Isabelle Greeley entered the small room and gently moved in beside Jade so she could make eye contact with her patient. Tori was fairly far gone at that point and refused to look at Isabelle, her eyes instead darting quickly around the room. She took vitals and tried to get Tori's attention for several minutes before turning to look at Jade.

"She's slipping into shock. I can knock her out completely for the exam – but I need your permission."

"Do it," was all Jade said. She and Tori had the conversation and discussed the possibility the night before.

Once the exam was over, a nurse helped Jade redress her friend. Once she began to stir and wasn't suffering from any nausea from the medication, an orderly helped her get Tori into the car. Luckily, Beck was at home to transfer her from the car and into her bed. A few weeks before, a panic attack of that level would have kept her in bed for days. That evening, Jade and Beck smiled without acknowledging the words when she appeared just after eight.

Tori slept well past dinner and when she trudged into the kitchen, she found Jade and Beck (both looking rather pleased with themselves) sitting at the table, bent over a laptop and an array of colorful brochures. She looked at them suspiciously as she slid into the chair next to Jade. Beck chuckled at her expression and pushed a piece of colorful paper her way. It was a brochure for Knottsberry Farm. Another sticking out from under the laptop was for Disney World and one in Beck's hand was clearly for a Mediterranean cruise.

"What's going on?" Tori asked finally, once she realized neither Jade nor Beck was paying her any attention.

"Next week Beck's movie wraps – and he has a few weeks before he needs to start promoting the first one. Your physical therapy ends and speech therapy and occupational go to once a week. It sounded like a good time to take a vacation," Jade answered, tilting her head at the computer screen as she scanned a website.

"Cat's decided to leave her job and won't start filming the new movie for three weeks, so she can come," Beck continued. He and Cat had been working in cahoots so that by the time Cat told Jade she was absolutely planning a return to LA, she already had a job – a good job – lined up. "So it seemed like an extra good time to do it."

"I don't know..." Tori said hesitantly.

"I do," Jade responded. "Sitting around here worrying about the trial isn't going to help anything. So let's do something fun. What would you prefer - Disney - or a cruise?"

Tori, realizing immediately that it was a silly thing to argue about, smiled brightly. She had never been to Disney World. She'd been to Disney Land several times and her parents had once gone to Disney World while leaving her at home with Trina, but Tori had never been to the Floridian destination.

"I think Cat would prefer Disney," she answered. Beck grinned; he had seen Tori's expression and knew that it was she who would prefer Disney. Despite the stressful beginning to the day, it ended on a positive note. After Jade decided she didn't want Beck or Tori's input into vacation planning, she put away the computer and pulled out the scrabble board. They spent the evening attempting to beat one another with words like xa and frowzily. Tori tried to claim a handicap considering she hadn't had the extra three year to grow her vocabulary, but Jade refused. And really, Tori was catching up quite nicely.

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	15. A State of Activity

Thank you to the following for reviewing the last chapter: Khay (welcome to the story – whether from the beginning or chapter 12 – the more the merrier ), Yung Girl K, Emissin12, StarrySkies, Sarah, Magykpaw, MyPerfectEscape, Ethans mom, Jori OTP, Jeremy Shane, Caralynne, Red Velvet is love, Chiyoraka, dmnchld1029, JessyRae, smileyfacesrockXD, SweetLiberty-Paladin, Invader Johnny, BroadwayPrincess95, IamStoopKid, and Blue Penguin Lightning. You guys (and gals) are awesome – it warms my heart to know your thoughts on the story. An extra special thanks to those who have reviewed every chapter

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Again, thank you for all of those who have been reading and reviewing – you make my day. Be sure to review this chapter – I need to smile tomorrow – my day is scheduled to be a difficult one. Here is to Wednesday coming quickly. I hope you enjoy this next installment:

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Chapter 15 – A State of Activity

"Happiness is a state of activity."

~ Aristotle

Disneyworld. Tori felt like she was five years old because she was so excited. As excited as she could remember being since before everything had gotten complicated with her parents' deaths and her kidnapping. The four-in-the-morning wake-up had been jarring and riding on an airplane next to Cat had been less than restful – but she was still excited when they touched down into Orlando. Not so excited to be disappointed when they went directly to the hotel.

Their first day on vacation had been eventful and full of travel. Everyone was exhausted. They ate dinner at the hotel restaurant and immediately separated into their own rooms to get ready for bed. Jade and Beck had rented a two-bedroom presidential suite at the Animal Kingdom's Safari Lodge. Their bedroom was connected to the one Tori and Cat would share by a large living area and kitchenette. Andre and Robbie, interested in saving money, had booked a room on a lower – and much more economical – floor of the same hotel.

It was a bit past two when Jade woke to the sound of the door creaking open. Once her eyes adjusted, she realized it was Cat peering into the doorway. "What's wrong?" jade asked tiredly.

"Tori's screaming," Cat said, her voice somewhere between a whimper and whisper. Jade threw the covers aside and slipped out of bed, nudging Beck on her way out.

"Beck, couch," she said gruffly. She took one of the pillows, a thick blanket, and practically pushed her husband into the living room. He never said a word, just curled up on the extra large sofa and fell back asleep.

"You can sleep in our room." Jade told Cat tiredly, "I'll go check on Tori."

"Kay, Kay," Cat said, her voice thick with sleep. The drapes had been left open, so lights from the surrounding park created shadows across the unfamiliar hotel room. Jade pulled them closed and sat on the edge of the bed. Tori was in the throes of what looked to be a particularly bad nightmare. Her face was contorted in pain and fear, and her voice hoarse from crying and screaming. Cat must have waited quite a while before disturbing Jade.

Jade placed her hand on Tori's shoulder and shook gently, sending an outside signal to stop the dream in its tracks. It took a few more times but the other woman's eyes flew open and she sat up quickly, gasping from the terror. She was covered in sweat and her cheeks were wet with tears.

"Sorry," Tori croaked. She winced at the dryness in her throat.

"It's fine," Jade assured her. She unscrewed the cap of the water bottle on the nightstand and handed it to Tori, who drank from it deeply before handing it back. Her knees curled up and her head fell to them in exhaustion. Her form shook with sobs left over from the mental fight she'd just endured.

Jade left her alone. She busied herself pulling a fresh pair of pajamas from a drawer and then went into the luxurious bathroom. It wasn't as nice as the one in the bedroom she was supposed to be sharing with Beck, but it was fancier than most hotel bathrooms she knew of. Tori heard her turn on the taps and fill the tub. Once it was filled, Jade flipped on the jets and dimmed the lights so it wasn't a shock after leaving the darkened bedroom.

Tori was finished crying. She was sitting against the headboard looking mentally and physically drained. Jade sat on the edge of the bed again and faced her. "Did you take the Silenor?" Tori shook her head and glanced toward the night stand. Jade could see the small blue pill sitting there next to Tori's rings and bracelets.

Despite the great desire to chide her, Jade remained silent. It was Tori's decision when it came to the medications that were not 100% necessary. But she was exhausted and the disapproval showed clearly in her features.

"Why don't you take a bath and try to relax for a few minutes?" Jade suggested. Tori knew she was right – in addition to feeling gross from the sweating, her muscles were tense and on alert – there was no way she could sleep. She went into the bathroom, closed the door lightly behind her, and slipped out of her damp pajamas. Sliding carefully under the warm water, she relaxed against the large porcelain tub and closed her eyes.

Without realizing, she fell asleep, only to be jerked awake by a soft knock on the door. "Tori," she said a quiet but firm voice, "talk to me or I'm coming in."

"I'll be out in a few minutes," Tori answered quickly. She grabbed a plush white towel from a nearby rack and stood to dry herself, kicking the plug from the drain. Drying herself thoroughly, she put on the fresh pair of pajamas, threw the wet towel over an empty bar, and padded back into the bedroom. Jade was curled onto her side on the left side of the bed – which was coincidentally both the side she normally slept on and the side Tori did not sleep on.

Tori saw that on the nightstand, next to her water bottle, was a small teal-colored capsule. It was not her normal sleeping pill but a fast acting one that would put her out in a few minutes and let her sleep for however long-or short – a time was left before morning. Throwing it into the back of her mouth, she swallowed a bit of water and crawled into bed without a comment.

The next morning, Jade woke to the feeling of being stared at. Opening her bright blue eyes, she saw that Beck was sitting in front of her, smiling gently at her just-recently-sleeping form. She groaned and rolled away from him. "Why are you smiling?" She grumbled.

"Because we're in the happiest place on earth," he answered, his arms wrapping around her and bringing her into a sitting position. "And I've had my coffee," he added on a more serious note. He pulled away just slightly to locate a mug of steaming brew he had left on the night stand. She accepted it gratefully and sipped. The hot liquid pushed away some of the clouds of fatigue and her brain started moving at its normal – albeit fast – pace.

"What time is it?"

"Almost ten," Beck answered before leaning down to drop a kiss on the top of her mussed brown curls.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Her voice echoed only hints of annoyance.

"I figured you needed the sleep. But I'm waking you now because if we don't get moving pretty soon, Cat is going to have a heart attack." Jade smiled and shook her head as she swallowed another mouthful of the mostly-bitter brew. There was a hint of sugar; just how she liked it.

She kissed Beck on the lips, knowing it was the only way he was going to move, and skirted around him to the door. Upon opening it, she realized suddenly the quiet that infiltrated the ornately decorated living room. "Where are they?" She asked him suspiciously.

"Downstairs sitting by the pool – waiting for us."

"You think that's a good idea?" She called the words over her shoulder as she walked quickly back to the master bedroom. Beck followed her to answer, speaking as he watched her go quickly to the closet and pull out an outfit she'd hung the night before.

"I couldn't keep Cat in this hotel room for another minute," Beck objected. "And they're fine."

"Are you basic that knowledge on Cat's ability to not talk to strangers – or Tori's ability to not have a panic attack?" Jade snapped. She had stepped quickly into a black pair of panties and pulled on a matching bra. Over that, she was wearing a black sundress covered in thin, loopy daisies of a teal color that complemented her eyes. Shoving her feet into a pair of flat black sandals, she stormed into the bathroom and began her morning routine.

"They're fine," Beck said in the most tranquil voice he could achieve. "We are trying to relax here – remember? Andre and Robbie are with them. Give them all a little bit of credit, okay." Jade looked at him in the mirror, their eyes catching for a moment before she nodded. Once she was ready, she grabbed the bag she had packed the night before and Beck's hand. They walked out of the hotel and into the brilliant Floridian morning to find Robbie and Cat sitting at the edge of the pool, their legs dangling in the depths, while Tori and Andre sat in nearby lawn chairs, apparently engrossed in something on their phones.

"You cheat on this game," he whined.

"I just have a better vocabulary than you," Tori answered. They were warring over several games of Words with Friends. They didn't notice Jade and Beck's approach – but someone did.

"We can go now!" Cat said excitedly. Forgetting where she was, she attempted to stand. Only Robbie's quick movement stopped her from plunging into the pool. She giggled, righted herself, and stood up quickly.

They spent the rest of the day in the Magic Kingdom. During her planning, Jade had made several phone calls. Due to Tori's anxiety diagnosis, she was able to get a fast pass onto the rides and into private boxes at the shows – keeping them away from the majority of the crowds. On top of that, if they were nearing a place that looked crowded, they would turn around and go another way. It seemed to work and there wasn't a sign of distress all morning. They sat down in Cinderella's Castle for a late lunch. Jade kept a sharp eye on Tori, watching for exhaustion or wear. She knew they shouldn't run around the park all day, but Cat would not be dissuaded and Tori didn't help. She continued to be a people pleaser – agreeing with Cat that they should stay for the Main Street Electric Parade that evening.

Despite Jade's reservations , they made it all day. They ran around from ride to ride and show to show all afternoon and stopped for a late dinner at the Brown Derby. They found places to sit along the sidewalk just as it was growing dark. Tori became visibly concerned for the first time that day upon leaving the restaurant and seeing the crowds that were gathering on both sides of the street.

"We don't have to stay," Jade told her quietly, leaning forward. "Cat can stay with Robbie and Andre – we can go now before it gets more crowded."

"I'm okay," Tori promised her stoically. "I want to stay."

"If you're sure," Jade agreed. Her right hand slipped into Beck's while his left arm draped gently over her shoulder. Tori had perfected her poker face, so Jade wasn't expecting it when, halfway through the parade, she leaned close to Jade's ear and asked for her anxiety pills. Jade got them out immediately and handed one to Tori along with a bottle of water. Her hands were shaking slightly as she returned the bottle.

"I'm okay," she promised again. Although they still had many lighted floats to watch, the parade was over for Jade. She watched Tori sharply for the remainder of the event. The other woman held it together, not wavering until the end when the last float passed by and behind it, hundreds of people poured onto main street to walk to the trams and to the parking lots. She whimpered suddenly as she bent over, her face hidden in her hands. Shaking uncontrollably, she was wishing a hole would appear and suck her into it – away from the people.

"Just close your eyes," Jade told her, wrapping her arms securely around the girl. Beck disappeared for a few minutes. When he returned, he swept Tori into his arms and carried her into one of the shops they were sitting in front of, calling to Jade and their friends to follow. Tori had curled against him, her face hidden in his chest, her entire slim frame still shaking.

An employee locked the front door behind them as they entered and showed them to the back door, where the manager was waiting. He had one of the golf carts they'd seen employees using to traverse the park. Once Beck told him where they were staying, he began driving and chatting away, as though it was the most normal thing in the world to have a grown woman crying hysterically in a man's lap in his golf cart. He used all of the back roads and routes, so it took twenty minutes but it was a quiet twenty minutes. Eventually Tori calmed down and realized she was in Beck's lap – so she moved. She slid herself down onto the seat between him and Jade.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"It's not your fault," Jade told her. "We shouldn't have stayed for the parade."

"Then Cat would have missed it—"

"You need to worry about yourself, not Cat. She's not going to miss out on anything." That was the end of the conversation. By the time they reached the hotel, Tori had calmed completely and was more embarrassed than anything. Andre and Robbie gave her hugs before going to their hotel room.

Inside their suite on the penultimate floor, Tori and Cat prepared for bed. While Cat had been frightened by Tori's panic attack, she had apparently forgotten about it by then and was chattering on about the day, recounting her favorite rides. Tori listened politely as she crawled under the cover of the King sized bed and sat against the padded headboard. She knew after the attack sleep would come quickly – but she wasn't at all sure it would come without dreams. As those thoughts were entering her mind, Jade appeared with a tiny pill box and a bottle of water.

She was wearing black yoga pants and a long blue t-shirt, her hair pulled into a quick ponytail and her face clean of makeup. She looked younger without makeup, Tori decided. Cat didn't look much different without it – but Jade looked younger. Jade handed the pills and water to Tori and sat on the edge of the bed, listening to Cat's current retelling of Rocky Mountain Railroad, her favorite ride of the day.

Once Cat left the room to take her shower and get ready for bed, Jade scooted further up the bed until she was next to Tori. "I know you're still embarrassed about what happened."

"Wouldn't you be?"

"It's not exactly a parallel question," Jade argued. "I can't imagine surviving what you did – so whether or not I'd be able to handle anxiety afterward – that's really a moot point."

"I didn't survive on purpose," Tori said softly. Jade wasn't sure if she'd heard the words until she saw the realization of their weight dawn on Tori. "I wanted to die every minute of every day. I thought it would be better – easier."

"Thank you for holding on anyway," Jade responded after a long pause. "And now that you did – you get to take your life back. On your terms. And if that means no big crowds for a while – then who the hell cares? If anyone has a problem with you having a panic attack, then they can get over themselves. You're allowed to feel however you feel – whenever you feel it." Her voice lightened and softened. "Just don't stop fighting to stay with us."

"Okay," Tori answered softly, accepting Jade's outstretched hand. An hour later, Beck found them – with Cat – playing a rousing game of pretty-pretty-princess that had apparently been in stock in the living room. He looked strangely at them, draped in plastic jewels and giggling like little girls. He smiled and backed out of the room without alerting them to his presence. Going back into the master suite, he turned on the television and prepared himself for a solitary night. Under the circumstances – he didn't mind a bit.

The next day was a pool day as Jade had already informed them it would be. She had arranged the trip so that the park days were split by pool days and spa days. By the end of the week-and-a-half vacation, they had seen each park, visited most of the four star restaurants, and had a generally good time. Thanks in part to careful planning, Tori survived the rest of the trip without another panic attack. Jade almost had one, though, when Cat insisted she take part in a makeover at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique. Despite the fact that the rules clearly stated that this was only for children, Cat would not be dissuaded. She somehow talked the management into closing the boutique and allowing the three of them to become Disney princesses. She was irate – or as irate as Cat could get – when Jade refused to play along. Beck thought it was fantastic, so he was no help at all. Eventually, Jade was forced to give in – with the understanding that anyone who posted pictures of this event anywhere would be killed.


	16. Adjusting the Sails

Two chapters in two days – it rarely happens –but here it is. Thank you so much for your kind words and reviews so far. Please continue to let me know what you think about the story. Enjoy this next part:

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Chapter 16 – Adjusting the Sails

"_We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails_."

~Author Unknown

A few days after they returned from Florida, Jade received a phone call she could no longer ignore. She had avoided a direct visit from Ella and Bryan Oliver for as long as she was going to get away with. She called Ella weekly and answered all of her correspondences in a timely manner, but the matriarch wanted to _see_ her. So, despite her desire to keep things simple, Jade somehow allowed Ella to talk her into dinner.

"Why don't you come over Friday," Ella said cheerfully. "I'll make your favorite."

"We have Cat and Tori staying with us," Jade reminded her. "Why don't you and Bryan come here?"

"You work too hard, my dear. Can I at least bring something?"

"Dessert," Jade answered. "And not too much sugar, please."

"Who doesn't put too much sugar into dessert?" the woman teased her. "We will be happy to see you Friday. I love you."

"Love you to," Jade answered quickly, hanging up as a knock sounded on the door to her office. "Come in," she called. Tori was standing on the other side and she walked into the office holding up a book.

"Can we make another library run sometime this week?"

"Buy them on your PearPad," Jade said simply.

"Not all books deserve to be purchased," Tori said with a wrinkled nose. "And my PearPad is attached to your credit card." Jade shook her head and laid it on her hands on the desk.

"You people are going to kill me!" she grumbled loudly. She sat up quickly, grabbed her purse, and moved for the door. They did go to the library – and then the grocery store and farmer's market. By the time they returned home, Jade had stopped grumbling. She restocked the refrigerator and pantry while Tori watched from a safe distance at the counter. She was bored. She was finally well enough that her complete lack of job or convocation wad making her antsy.

She watched as Jade opened the refrigerator and started sorting through containers of vegetables and fruits. She sniffed at things and either threw them back into their spot or left them on the counter. "I think I should do something – maybe volunteer at the library."

"We can talk about it after the trial," Jade said absently. She knew it was more a thought out of boredom than a true wish; Tori could barely leave the house without panicking. Volunteering was not a current option.

"Jaaade," Tori whined and she knew immediately it had been the wrong thing to do. Jade glared at her fiercely.

"Don't start. You're just starting to feel better. Give it time. After the trial is over and the media forgets about you, we'll revisit the conversation. For right now, can it." She placed a cutting board, paring knife, and several tomatoes in front of Tori. "Cut those in slices." She continued her chores and began cooking dinner and the subject was dropped.

Friday evening came quickly. Jade had called in the cleaning company to do a deep clean on Thursday – much to the dismay of Cat and Tori, both of whom woke to someone cleaning their carpets (Cat, much earlier than Tori). On Friday morning, she washed the good china and set it carefully on an ironed black table cloth in the formal dining room. The pattern was Jonquil, she told Tori when asked. It was bone white china lined with a slim band of black and decorated with fine black and gray daffodils. Everything was just so on the table – Tori tried to help and was surprised when Jade practically slapped her hands away.

"I'll do it," Jade said irritably.

"Okay," Tori answered, backing away. She sat in a chair next to the buffet, watching as Jade continued to set the table. Beck arrived home around lunchtime with a centerpiece of white and black flowers. Jade placed them carefully in the center of the table and took a step back to scrutinize her work. Beck wrapped his arms around her and leaned down to kiss her lips.

"Babe it looks perfect." His eyes met hers. "You do know that they just want to see us – they would be happy to be eating pizza off of paper plates." She pulled away from him to check on the turkey she'd placed in the convection oven earlier.

"Who's coming?" Tori asked, following them into the kitchen. She had wanted to ask Jade but was fearful after having her hand slapped.

"My parents are coming for dinner," Beck said, going to the refrigerator for a bottle of water. "They love Jade – but she refuses to take that for granted like a good daughter-in-law would." Jade looked at him sideways and he smiled. "They are very laid back people – you'll love them. No worries."

Tori was hesitant. She didn't want to eat dinner with strangers. She was barely eating dinner in restaurants – and that had only really happened at Disney World where they had eaten in private dining rooms and fancy places that were quiet and where your interaction with strangers was limited. "I could just stay upstairs," she suggested, hoping she came across as more amiable and less desperate.

"You're not staying upstairs," Jade told her. "They're nice. They know you're staying here – they don't know exactly why – they just know that you were missing and have been staying here since you were found. Beck called them before the press release went out and gave them the basics. But they won't ask any stupid questions."

So, Tori found herself being used as a life-sized doll later that day. Jade vetoed everything she suggested she wear and finally picked something herself – a pair of black pants and a purple blouse lined at the cuffs, neck, and bottom with intricate stitching and a glittering of beads. She had wanted Tori to wear a dress but the other girl had refused – it was impossible to cover her ankles without pants or a long skirt.

Cat apparently had been allowed to pick her own clothing – when Tori and Jade walked down the stairs, the petite redhead was lounging on a living room sofa in a sapphire blue dress and a purple cardigan that matched surprisingly well. She was the first to jump up when the doorbell rang. She skittered into the foyer on her blue heels and threw the door open.

"Hi Beck's parents," she said gleefully.

"Well, hello, Cat," Ella said. She reached forward to hug the small woman. "How are you?"

"Good – thank you," Cat answered. "How are you today?"

"Great, young lady," Bryan Oliver answered, "just great."

"You can come in," Cat said, standing aside and gesturing into the house. Beck joined them at that moment and hugged both of his parents. Tori had gone into the kitchen and was holding onto the island counter, willing herself not to panic.

Jade pulled a yellow anxiety pill from the bottle and handed it to Tori along with a glass of water. "Do you want to go upstairs? I can bring you a plate and you can avoid all this. I would have suggested it before if I realized it was going to stress you this much."

"I want to try," Tori answered.

"Good. You'll be fine," Jade assured her. "They really are very nice. Beck gets his laid back personality honestly." Tori nodded. She allowed Jade to lead her into the living room and stood next to Beck as he reintroduced her.

"Mom, Dad, I think you remember Tori."

"Of course," Ella said, standing to offer her hand. "You're still such a beauty. It's so nice to see you, dear."

"Thanks," Tori said softly. She offered her hand to Ella and willed herself not to shake as the other woman moved in for a hug. Luckily, it was a quick hug because Jade had been spotted. She was wearing a black dress that flattered her perfectly. The knit lining of the dress was topped with an overlay of sheer chiffon, on top of which sat a delicately crocheted floral bodice. It was certainly more demure than Jade's usual style, especially paired with ballet flats – but it was beautiful. Beck had certainly taken in an extra breath upon seeing her. Ella skirted around Tori and embraced Jade deeply.

"You look beautiful. But you're too pale and too thin," she chided. Tori could hear from the tone of her voice that she meant it in the most loving of ways. Jade didn't even roll her eyes in response. Ella's hands fell to cup Jade's face. "How are you going to give me grandbabies if you don't take care of yourself?"

"Mom," Beck said in a warning tone.

"I'm okay," Jade promised her. A timer sounded in the kitchen and Jade broke away. "Dinner is ready – if you guys want to take a seat in the dining room."

"Dining room?" Ella asked. "Jade, we talk about this – you didn't need to go all out—" her voice drifted away as she walked into the dining room and saw the picture-perfect spread. "It looks gorgeous," she breathed. "it's too much, dear," she said as Jade walked into the room with a large salad bowl. Beck followed with a platter holding a perfectly golden turkey.

"I think it smells like just enough," Bryan Oliver said, patting his stomach and sitting at the foot of the table. "I'm excited." Beck sat at the head of the table, Jade and Tori to his right. Cat sat to his left with his mother beside her, listening politely to the redhead's prattling. The food was passed and they fell into quick, easy conversation. Ella and Bryan wanted to hear all about Disneyworld, which Cat was thrilled to tell them about. Tori spent all of dinner moving things around her plate, hoping that no one would speak directly to her. She thought she was being convincing with her rearranging of food until she felt Jade's breath on her ear.

"Please try to eat something," she said softly. Tori brought a small bit of potatoes to her mouth obediently. Jade's attention brought additional eyes to rest on Tori and she colored as she swallowed the uncomfortable lump of food.

"Tori," Ella said brightly, "did you have a nice time in Florida?" Tori smiled down at her plate and nodded. Try as she might, she was unable to bring her eyes up. She felt the potatoes trying to make a comeback and stood up from the table, croaking a hurried apology before disappearing into the kitchen and up the stairs. She was relinquishing the contents of her stomach, tears streaming down her cheeks, when she felt a familiar form kneel behind her and pull her hair into a quick knot.

"I'm sorry I didn't give you much warning about Beck's parents," Jade apologized as she rubbed Tori's back. "They are the least scary people I've ever met – so it just didn't occur to me that it might upset you. I'm sorry." Tori finished and sat back against the tub, reaching for a wash cloth. She wiped her mouth and her shoulders sagged as she closed her eyes.

"It shouldn't need to be a big deal," Tori argued. "I'm sorry – everything was perfect and I had to go and ruin it –"

"Nothing is ruined. And you need to give yourself some credit," Jade argued. "It's okay. Why don't you try to relax and lay down for a while? I'll bring you something lighter later tonight when your stomach settles." Tori nodded, wishing she could stop crying. She was so tired of feeling helpless to her panic. Jade brought her a pair of pajamas and placed them in the bathroom. She started a bath running before heading for the door. She stopped and hugged Tori. "Please do not feel bad about this." Her voice deepened and she continued, "and I request – if my parents ever somehow end up eating here – that you puke on them instead of in a different room." Tori laughed weakly and shook her head; what a thing to joke about.

Ella was waiting outside of Tori's bedroom door looking positively troubled. "Jade, I am so sorry," she said immediately upon seeing her daughter-in-law. "I thought she was just being shy – I didn't realize she would be upset if I spoke to her."

"It's okay," Jade assured her, wrapping an arm around the older woman as they walked back toward the dining room. "She's having a really rough time. I should have let her skip dinner – but I really think she would like you guys. And you would like her. You will, once you have a chance to meet under better circumstances."

If Ella Oliver was curious about Tori's presence in her son and daughter-in-law's home before, she was ravenous for details now. But she was not one to push for information. It was the main reason she and Jade actually got along. Beck was showing his Dad the car he was working in the garage while Cat was in the backyard – literally – dancing in the moonlight.

"She's different," Ella said, standing next to Jade on the back porch.

"She's different alright," Jade agreed. "But the kind of different that just got paid a million dollars to be one of the female leads in the movie adaptation of _Next to Normal_."

"She's lucky to have you," Ella said.

"She's lucky to have a naturally fantastic voice and some sort of aura that makes it impossible to want to kill her – sort of like babies and puppies." Ella laughed; she knew Jade wasn't as hard and cruel as she pretended to be. She's seen the soft side; she knew her son. And she'd known his heart belonged to Jade from the moment they'd met in the eighth grade.

Ella turned away from the yard, facing Jade instead as she leaned on the railing. Jade saw her movements but avoided her eyes; watching skeptically in her peripheral vision. "Jade – I want you to listen to me for a minute. No scathing remarks – no sarcasm. Just listen." Jade's eyes remained locked on Cat's form in the distance – but she was listening.

"I don't know how to get through to you that our love is not conditional. We love you. You are part of our family now – you have been for a long time. I don't care if the silver is shined or the napkins are folded perfectly – all I care about is spending time with my son – and my daughter." Her hand reached to tilt Jade's chin so their eyes met. "I don't know what's going on right now. That's your business – not mine. But if you need me, I am here." Jade didn't answer but she didn't look away – and she allowed Ella to hug her. And Ella knew her well enough to know that was progress.

An hour later, Jade stood next to Beck in the doorway as they watched his parents drive away. "I love you so much," Beck informed her, leaning down to kiss her. Once they broke apart, she reciprocated the words in a soft murmur against his cheek. He threw his arm around her shoulder and led her back into the house, closing the door behind them.

"You know, my dad said that my mom spent hours trying to find something to wear. She knew you were going all fancy. I'm telling you – they want pizza." Jade smiled against his chest as he hugged her close. She took soup and crackers upstairs to Tori and had to wake her into order to make sure she ate something and took her medications.

The next morning, Tori woke to a bouquet of flowers at her bedside. The blue, pink, green, and purple arrangement was bright and sunny and held a small card. Opening it, she found a note from Ella Oliver – who begged her forgiveness and said that she hoped they could get together again when Tori was ready.

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What did you think? I wanted to include Beck's parents because it shows a very insecure side of Jade – and there will be more backstory about why they are so important to her. Was it too far in left field? Thanks for reading and reviewing


	17. Putting the Past Behind

Thank you for all of the lovely reviews - and for taking the time to share them! Thanks for all who are reading and enjoying the story.

This was originally supposed to be the chapter where Tori's testimony began - but the chapter was over 20 pages, so I had to cut it in half. Her testemony will start in the next chapter, the trial will follow in the chapter after. sorry for the change in plans!

I will warn you that the beginning of this chapter is gross. Highly likely in this situation, but gross. Also, as for the testimony Tori is going to give – I won't get too detailed – but she went through a lot of very traumatic things, so it probably won't be pleasant reading – just to warn you.

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Chapter 17 Putting the Past Behind

"A very wise man once told me that you can't look back-you just have to put the past behind you, and find something better in your future."  
― Jodi Picoult, _Salem Falls_

The weekend before her testimony was due to begin, Tori woke up to blood. It was everywhere. The coppery smell infiltrated her nostrils. Her pajamas were thick with it and the soft white sheets would never be saved – she only hoped the mattress had escaped the torrent of red. As she reached for a tissue from the nightstand, she realized her fingers were streaked with red.

Before she could decide what to do, the door began to open. "Wait," she called out weakly. She should have known better – the word did nothing but bring Jade into the room faster – and with a look of concern between knitted brows.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her right hand falling to her hip. Despite her horror and embarrassment, Tori knew she couldn't hide it. There was no way she could get rid of the clothing and sheets, clean up herself and the bed – and keep the matriarch of the house out of things. Especially since her legs felt like jelly and her head was spinning

"It's everywhere," she said softly, looking down at her hands splayed in her lap. It took Jade less than two steps toward the bed to see what was going on.

"Oh," she said softly. She was more stunned than Tori had seen her during the entire recovery. Quickly, she bit back her surprise and saw that her friend was mortified. "It's okay," she said firmly. "Dr. Brown said this might be bad – it's been over two years." Tori nodded; that did not help her feel less icky or ashamed.

"I'll be right back," Jade promised. She returned quickly with black trash bags. "We'll just get rid of it all."

"I'm sor—"

"Don't apologize," Jade interrupted her. "The sheets don't matter. We have others." She paused and tried to decide what to do. "I'm going to put a sheet over the carpet so you can get to the bathroom." The sheets, they could throw away. The carpet, not so much.

"I don't think I can make it," Tori said softly. Her legs were shaking badly and it was gaining up her body. She was worried that if she allowed her jaws to meet, her teeth would chatter. She wasn't sure if it was the sudden loss of so much blood or the stress and embarrassment of the situation. Perhaps it was some combination of them both.

"It's okay," Jade said again. After putting down the sheet, she moved toward the closet and pulled out a robe – a black one that was not Tori's favorite. She draped it over Tori's shoulders and helped her out of bed and toward the bathroom. Placing a thick towel over the vanity chair, she had Tori sit while she started the shower. "Are you going to be okay in there?" Tori nodded.

"Thank you."

"It's going to be fine," Jade reiterated. While Tori showered, she gathered the ruined bed clothing and pajamas into garbage bags and tossed them into the hallway to be disposed of. By some mercy, the mattress had been spared, so she was able to make the bed with new sheets and a blue flowered comforter. She pulled up the sheets from the floor, threw them into the laundry, and walked down the hall to make a phone call.

By the time Tori got out of the shower, she had an appointment with Dr. Brown. On hearing how upset her patient was, the doctor was easily convinced to make a house call. It helped that she knew the Olivers would pay handsomely for whatever insurance didn't cover. Tori didn't want to think about how much Jade was paying to get a doctor to make a house call – on a Saturday morning.

When Dr. Brown reached the house, Tori was out of the shower, dressed in clothing, and sitting ram-rod straight in the easy chair in her room. Jade could tell she was terrified to move. Her eyes grew large upon seeing the doctor and the woman quickly threw her hands in the air. "Not a full exam – I promise." Tori's blood pressure lessened then, but not enough it seemed. The doctor frowned a few moments later when she was taking vitals.

Dr. Brown spent the better part of thirty minutes asking questions and examining Tori. "The heavy bleeding is probably not anything to worry about just yet. It happens when periods are skipped – everything that has been building up is released at the same time. It will probably last a bit longer too. If it hasn't gone away in two weeks or it gets heavier or more painful, give me a call back." Tori nodded. She took a sample of blood and placed it into a small cooler in her bag. The needles no longer phased Tori – she was so tired that she didn't realize it was happening until the sharp piece of metal was being pulled out of her arm.

"You should try to rest today – it's going to take a while for your body to make up for the loss of blood. And I'm going to take this sample back to the lab. There is a good chance you need to be taking iron – at least for the next few months while your periods even out."

The rest of the day was hazy – she supposed she ate when Jade brought her food. And she was almost certain Cat had been in her bedroom, carting a laptop and several Disney movies. But for the most part, the day was passed in foggy exhaustion.

Her flow was more under control but she was still uncomfortable three days later when the safe world that had been created for her was cracked in two, leaving her feeling vulnerable and terrified. Monday, the day before she would begin giving testimony, she was at a complete loss so she found herself wandering around the house.

The attic was neat and tidy; very unlike any attic she'd seen before. In one of the corners, she knew there were boxes and furniture from her college apartment and her parents' home. Beck and Jade had it moved, thinking she would prefer it to be on hand in case she wanted to through it. She had never felt the urge before. But Monday morning found her sitting on the pine floor of the attic, going through boxes of her mother's things.

After half an hour of aimless digging, she found something that interested her. It was a hand-crafted wooden box carved with her full first name. Victoria arched over the center of the box in perfect cursive scrolls. She opened it to find a litany of baby things – the calendar her mother had kept of all of her firsts – hair from her first haircut and the first tooth she'd ever lost. Her first letter to Santa, pictures of her ballet recitals and science fairs. She froze when her fingers brushed a newer addition – her graduation hat and picture from Hollywood Arts.

Why those particular items felt like a punch in the gut, she wasn't certain. Her parents had loved her – she had known that. But by the time she'd reached high school, they had withdrawn. They had trusted her to make her own decisions and had done little to interfere with her life. At the time, she'd told herself that it was nice to be trusted. She never allowed herself to reflect upon the loneliness that accompanied their frequent absences. But they had cared. They had loved her. And they'd been taken from her when everything else was topsy turvey. Freshman year of college was supposed to be about classes, friends, studying, even parties – not about mourning your parents.

She was still working through that mess of emotions when she'd been taken – and now she rarely thought of her parents. What kind of daughter did that make her? She was sobbing, clutching at a stuffed bear that she'd found at the bottom of the box, when she heard footsteps. Despararely, she attempted to stop the tears by wiping at them. She bit her lip, hoping the pain would stop the waterworks – it didn't.

It was Beck who appeared around the corner, his expression turning from curious to concern in less than sixty seconds. "Tori? What's wrong?" He was not working that week. He's finished one movie and negotiated his next. She had picked up on enough conversations to know that he'd negotiated to start filming the next one after the holidays – and after the trial. With him home all the time, Tori felt the house was significantly smaller – she hadn't figured out yet where she would be assured of a quiet moment.

"I'm fine," she said shakily.

"You don't look fine," he said lightly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I need a few minutes to myself," she said honestly. She knew her therapist had told both Jade and Beck that this type of request was to be honored; she did need alone time as much as that frightened them. Beck nodded.

"Okay," he answered sympathetically. "But not too long – it's almost lunch time – and if Jade starts looking for you—"

"Just a few minutes," Tori repeated, staring away from him at the window under an eave of the house. Beck disappeared quickly after that and she found she was able to collect herself. With the half hour, she was back in her bedroom, the tiny stuffed bead tucked between a few pillows on her bed.

Three times that day she found herself bursting into tears – and she didn't know how to stop. She'd only been caught twice – neither time by Jade. But things had a way of getting back to her. So, Tori wasn't surprised when she knocked on her bedroom door late that afternoon.

Tori was sitting against the headboard, attempting to appear that she was reading a book. For a million dollars, she wouldn't have been able to disclose the title, author, or even the color of the cover.

"Come in," Tori called when she heard the knock. Jade entered the room and closed the door behind her. A stuffed glider still rested by Tori's bed so Jade sat in it, wrapping her sweater snuggly around her slim frame. Her hair was in wispy curls that day and she looked paler than usual.

"Everything okay?" Jade asked suspiciously. "You don't usually hole up in here all day."

"I'm tired," Tori said absently.

"Tomorrow is going to come and go and you're still going to be okay," jade told her. "There is nothing else he can do to you."

"Talking about it - reliving it – is sort of like he's getting to do it all over again," Tori said coldly.

"Talking about it means he **never** gets to do it again," Jade corrected her. She looked at Tori's expression – she was clearly terrified under the frozen exterior. She sighed. "This is your choice. If you don't want to testify, I'll have Addy call the DA. We'll go somewhere until the trial is over – we have a timeshare on an Island in the Bahamas-"

"I can't run," Tori told her. Jade was relieved; it was what she had been hoping to hear. "But I need some time alone. And I can't eat," she said, her eyes closing at the rising nausea when she thought of food.

"No deal of the food," Jade told her. "You have to eat something. Even soup is fine – it that's all you can do. But you can't go all day without something." Tori looked at her as though she were about to protest and Jade rolled her eyes. "The two bites of a sandwich at lunch don't count." The rest of the day dragged by slowly as Tori tried to focus on anything other than her coming testimony. They next morning eventually dawned, bringing with it a sense of overwhelming dread.

Jade's money and influence, armed with long missiles written by Tori's doctor and psychiatrist, made the situation as bearable as possible. The judge – somehow – agreed to hear her statement from the Oliver living room. Tori fought her shaking hands as she dressed in black pants and a bright blue blouse. Although she was getting better at it, she asked Jade to help with her makeup that morning. While she was dressing and eating breakfast in her bedroom, the living room was filling with people. The court reporter arrived early to set up her equipment, including a video camera and a voice recorder. Isabelle Greeley, Tori's therapist, was also one of the first arrivals. She knocked gently on the open door to Tori's bedroom while Jade was busy applying eye shadow.

"Hi, Dr. G," Tori said, trying her best not to move her eyes.

"Good morning, Tori," she said brightly. "Good morning, Jade."

"Hi," Jade said shortly, sitting back to look at her work. "That should be good," Jade said, allowing Tori to look in the mirror and approve before she stood up from the vanity. "I'm going to check on everything downstairs," she said glumly, skirting Isabelle.

"Jade," the older woman said before she could leave, "would you like to talk—"

"No," Jade called as she pounded down the stairs.

"You should have met her in high school," Tori said with an amused smile. "She's just nervous."

"That is highly understandable," Isabelle answered, "considering the circumstances. How are you feeling?"

"Anxious to get it over with."

Much to her chagrin, Jade went down the stairs to find that her own therapist was in attendance at the big event. Emily smirked at Jade's frown. "I won't interfere. But Isabelle invited me. I hope that's okay." Jade ignored her and walked into the kitchen to put on a pot of water to boil for tea.

"Jade—"

"We are not talking right now."

"Alright. But if you need—"

"I need to be strong today," Jade said forcefully. "So I can't even think about the fact you're here. Because me – dealing with my feelings – it can't happen – not today."

"I understand," Emily answered. "I can leave if you'd like. No hard feelings. Do you want me to go?"

"No," Jade said gruffly.

"Hey, Dr. Emily," Beck said, walking in on the conversation. "How are you?"

"I'm good – thank you, Beck. How are you holding up today?"

"My job is not the hard one," Beck answered, opening the refrigerator to locate a bottle of water. "I'm cool." Emily smiled and ever so carefully laid a hand on Jade's arm.

"If you need anything – I'll be here. Not interfering."

"Thanks," Jade said, turning back to the stove. She was simply relieved that Cat wasn't in attendance. The redhead was filming that day for at least eight hours – and Andre was picking her up at the end of her work day to take her to a movie. Jade had been thankful when he'd agreed to the arrangement and not insisted on being in attendance. Tori had not even wanted Beck to be present, but she was harder to convince.

Everyone was in place, ready to start, when the doorbell rang. Jade answered it and swore under her breath. "What do you want?" She asked coldly.

"To see my sister," Trina said, trying to push past Jade. "I know she's giving her testimony today."

"It's private," Jade answered, trying to close the door.

"My sister needs me—"

"Your sister needed you eleven months ago," she said angrily. "Not now that she's finally getting things figured out and put back together."

"That's not your call," Trina snapped. Jade was about to arugue when a quiet voice interrupted her from behind.

"If she wants to listen, let her in," Tori said, her voice quiet but cold.

"Thank y—" Trina began to say softly.

"It's not an invitation to talk to me," Tori told her. Turning on her heel, she went back into the living room to sit. Jade allowed Trina into the house before following.

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Thanks so much for reading – please share your thoughts. :-)


	18. Letting Go

Thank you to all of those who have left lovely reviews – they are appreciated.

To warn you again – her story is harsh – so be wary. Also, I'm aware that the legal aspects of this story are probably completely wrong. I have no law background and have not done enough research on it to be completely accurate – so forgive anything that seems unlikely in a legal sense.

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Chapter 18 Letting Go

"Sometimes you can't let go of the past without facing it again."  
― Gail Tsukiyama, _The Samurai's Garden_

Despite taking place in the living room, the morning felt like it was happening in a court room. Tori was sworn in by the judge before the lawyers began to ask questions. By the time Jade reentered the room and shoved Trina toward a seat near Beck, the first question had already been asked – when and how had Tori been taken. The district attorney had told Tori to tell them all she remembered after that moment.

"I don't remember how he got me," Tori said, addressing the district attorney sitting across from her. "I remember being in my apartment and deciding to take a walk. But I don't remember where I went or how far I got. The next thing I knew, I was inside that house." Months of speech therapy had paid off; Tori had little trouble telling her story – at least in the way of diction. Her breath hitched as she paused.

"We can stop any time you want," Jade reminded her softly. The judge wasn't thrilled with the interruption, but Jade didn't care. Regardless, Tori shook her head; she was tired of stopping.

"When I woke up, all I could see was the ceiling – it was gray and the paint was peeling. There were water spots, too." She paused. "I remember because it bothered me at first – I thought it might drip on me." She paused but didn't add what she was thinking – gross water from a leaking ceiling had quickly become the least of her worries. "I couldn't see to the side because he had my head strapped down. My wrists and ankles were tied to the bed posts with wires. He would electrify them if I really made him angry. When that wasn't fun anymore, he tightened them every day a little more so they dug in. One had to be surgically removed because the skin grew over it in places." She carefully slipped her blue and silver bangles from her right wrist and handed them to Jade. She held her right hand out for the district attorney to see and pointed to a particularly raw spot.

"This was the worst spot," she said. "They had to burn off the nerve endings because they were so damaged. Which is probably good. Because the rest of my wrist hurts like hell any time it gets touched. This part, I just can't feel," she said, flicking it for show. Taking her bracelets from Jade, she slipped them back on and paused, leaning forward. Jade reached over to rub her back gently. Isabelle Greeley leaned over and whispered softly how well she was doing – and reminded her it was her decision when they stopped. The judge was sitting in one of Jade's high-backed dining room chairs, centered behind the prosecuting and defense attorneys. Jade could see that, despite her attempts at remaining stoic, her eyes glistened as Tori spoke.

Tori took a deep breath and continued. "When I fought anyway, he started using the same wire on my upper thighs." She pointed. "It was cut within an inch of my femoral artery. Which is apparently a big deal. The doctors said if he had even nicked it, I would have been dead within an hour."

"Objection - hearsay," the defense attorney said lightly, almost apologetically. He looked at the judge, who nodded.

"Sustained. Strike the part about the doctor's opinion," the judge said, her comment directed at the court reporter. She turned her eyes to Tori.

"Just give us what you know happened – not what others said, alright?" Tori nodded, looking positively penitent. Jade's hand was still resting gently on her back

"Tori," Janna Montgomery, the D.A., said gently, "can you tell me how else he restrained you?"

"Twice a day, he would chain me to the toilet with a metal collar," she said roughly, her hands fisting at her sides.

"Why do you think he moved you?"

"That was when I could use the bathroom," Tori answered softly.

"What if there were other times when you needed it?"

"I learned not to," Tori said starkly, her face going suddenly pale. "I need," she stammered, her words jumbling. "Can we – can we take a break?"

"Of course," the Judge said graciously, nodding toward the court reporter, who turned off all of her equipment. Tori stood and walked toward the stairs. Her knees felt week, so she stood hesitantly at the bottom until Jade reached her side and took her arm. They were almost to Tori's bedroom when Trina caught up with them.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me about this?" Trina asked her sister.

"You haven't exactly been around," Tori answered. Once on the landing to the second floor, she broke from Jade and entered her bedroom, flopping down on the queen sized sleigh bed and wrapping her arms around the pink bear she'd had since childhood. Jade stood in the doorway, her brain clearly deciding between hurting Trina and comforting Tori.

"You could have picked up a phone!" Trina yelled. "I was busy! I couldn't get here – but you should have—"

"Guess what?" Jade asked, her expression a wry smile. "Trina time is over for today." She took Trina by the shoulders and pushed her out of the bedroom door and led her down the stairs and to the front foyer. Trina was so shocked about Tori's previous story that she didn't fight when Jade pushed her out the front door and threw her purse after her. "You can come back when you learn how to keep your mouth shut." As Jade walked back toward the stairs, the bell started to ring.

"Do not let her back in," she said sharply to the people milling around her living room. When she reached Tori's room, she found that the brunette had been joined by her therapist.

"You are doing a great job," Isabelle assured her. "I can't imagine how difficult this is – no one truly can. But you are doing wonderfully. And you need to keep going so you can get the whole story out there – and move on." Tori was doing a brilliant job of ignoring her therapist. Isabelle patted her on the shoulder and stood. "I'll see you back down stairs." Once she left, Jade sat.

"We can probably push this off for a few days," she said simply. Tori shook her head.

"No," she said sharply. "I need this to be over."

Once they were back in the living room, Tori had made the decision that they were not going to stop – not on her account. The anxiety pill she'd taken when she'd been upstairs was hopefully going to help her meet that goal.

"Tell me about your days with him. What happened – from morning until night?"

"It was hard to always tell what time it was – because there were no windows in that room. But I knew when a new day came because he would bring grapefruit juice for breakfast. He wouldn't loosen the restraints – so he fed me. I tried to bite him or refuse the food – but then he started force feeding me with a funnel – and after I choked a few times, I just let him feed me. It was – easier that way."

Tori removed herself; she watched the scenes in her brain with as much passiveness as possible and told them exactly what she saw. She told them about the whip he'd occasionally used to beat her – but not the sound it made as it sliced through the air. She's been forced to offer the words – yes, he's raped her. Why the hell else did they think he was keeping her? Every single day and in every single way she'd never even known possible. But she refused to share the feelings of emptiness and hollow pain she'd carried ever since; those were hers.

She talked about things that she'd refused to acknowledge before then; things that even Jade had never known about. She'd been pregnant. She's even felt the baby moving before he took it away – along with any chance she had of conceiving another child. She'd almost died of infection- she didn't know exactly why she'd hadn't. Except that somewhere in her feverish haze, she'd remembered him giving her medicine. Pink medicine – Penicillin, perhaps.

She detailed the times he'd broken her arm. Her leg. Her ribs. The metal collar that had threatened the use of her voice. The different things he'd used on her for his own amusement – lighters, knives, needles – whatever was lying about. Within the first hour of her testimony, the court reporter was weeping openly. Beck was meticulously pulling apart one of the throw pillows – stitch by stitch. It was keeping him from punching the walls. Tori ignored them all, her eyes focused on absolutely nothing as relived the scenes and described them in vivid detail.

Jade's throat was throbbing from the constant pressure of holding back sobs. She'd lost her firm grip on composure when Tori started talking about the pregnancy – how could she have lived through that? What kind of monster did those things to people? They stopped for a brief and silent lunch that Jade had ordered from a nearby restaurant.

Tori wasn't finished. She talked about the screams she'd heard through the walls – how at first she'd thought she was hallucinating and remembering her own screams. It wasn't until he's come into the room one night with blood on his shirt that she'd known – she'd known she wasn't the only one. She talked about the ways she'd tried to escape – how she's tried to fight – and how she'd tried to antagonize him into killing her. Jade grew extremely white when she described those moments, her knuckles thin and pronounced as she gained a painfully tight grip on the sofa.

It was almost five in the afternoon when the district attorney announced that she had no more questions. The defense attorney replied that he had no questions but reserved the option to pose more questions at the trial. The judge agreed and dismissed them all.

Tori sat frozen in her seat, as did Jade. Beck stood quickly and thanked the judge for being so flexible. He saw most of the people out of his house until the only ones remaining were Tori, his wife, and their psychiatrists. Isabelle and Emily disappeared into the kitchen, so Beck followed, figuring they knew what they were doing. It was Jade who thawed first. She turned her head to look at Tori.

"Is there anything else?"

"Anything else what?" Tori asked, her eyes still staring ahead; it was restful, in a way.

"Anything else you've kept to yourself?"

Tori shook her head. "It wouldn't have made a difference – what could you have done if you'd known?" Jade didn't know; but that didn't make her feel any better.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do you want to talk about your parents and what they did to you when you were a kid?"

"No," Jade said firmly.

"Then no," Tori echoed. Her eyes began to regain focus and she took a deep breath for the first time in as long as she could remember. "I'll be okay," she said softly.

"I know," Jade responded, taking her hand. They walked into the kitchen a few minutes later to find Isabelle working the lunch leftovers into a fairly palatable dinner. Jade would have normally been annoyed at having someone digging through her kitchen, but she left it go and sat down to eat.

Isabelle spent time after dinner talking to Tori and Jade spent time avoiding Emily, but eventually the two women left. By the time Cat arrived home that night, Jade, Tori, and Beck were sitting in the living room. Tori and Beck were engrossed in a video game while Jade's eyes skimmed over a script she was proofing.

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Thank you for reading! Please leave a review – let me know what your thoughts are. This was a difficult chapter to write – it didn't turn out as well as I was hoping, but I don't think it's too terrible either. Thoughts are welcome! Next chapter is the actual trial, followed by the epilogue.


	19. Away from all the Fears

Well – this is it. I can't believe this story is over. I've loved writing it. Thank you to all of those who have read and reviewed – especially those few of you who have been reviewing each chapter from the very beginning. I am hoping to do a sequel or companion story to this – I'm not sure which will happen first. The sequel would be set three - five years in the future. The companion story (which I've already begun writing) deals with Jade's past – the working title is A History of Shadows. So, hopefully I've have something ready to post soon and all of you who have enjoyed this story will enjoy reading the next one. Thanks again for your support and kind words along the way – I hope you enjoy these last two pieces.

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Chapter 19 - Away from All the Fears

"It's empty in the valley of your heart/ The sun, it rises slowly as you walk/ Away from all the fears/ And all the faults you've left behind."

~ from The Cave by Mumford and Sons

Jade brushed imaginary lint from her black dress and teal sweater as she walked down the hall. She stopped in front of Cat's door and knocked lightly, waiting until she heard a cheerful "come in!" before entering.

Cat was dressed in a bright pink sundress with a wide skirt, yellow bow, and matching sweater. It was bright and cheerful – exactly the opposite of how Jade was feeling. "Hey, Cat."

"Hi Jadey," Cat said, bouncing a bit as she sat back down on her sofa. She turned off the television and waited for Jade to join her on pink floral mess of furniture. Jade ignored the diminutive use of her name; Cat was one of the few people who didn't mean to upset her with such things.

"Cat, you understand what's going to happen today, right?" Her voice was tense; it was a day she couldn't control; and she hated that feeling.

"Tori has to tell the judge and jury people what the bad man did to her so he can go away forever," Cat answered, clearly from memorization. Jade worried that she was repeating what Beck and her therapist Molly had already tried to explain – but that she didn't actually understand what the words meant.

"There are going to be a lot of bad things that people are going to talk about in court today. And tomorrow – and for as long as this takes. You have to stay calm – no matter what they say. If you get upset, it's only going to upset Tori."

"I can be calm." Jade fought a smile; Cat was anything but calm.

"Just remember that the stories have to be told – so he can go away forever."

"And not hurt anyone anymore."

"Exactly," Jade answered. "Are you ready?" Cat nodded and picked up her purse, surprised when Jade offered her hand. They walked down to the kitchen where Isabelle, Tori, Beck, Andre, and Emily were gathered. Tori looked small and frail sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, picking at the muffin Beck had placed before her. Brown eyes misted as she saw Cat and Jade walked into the room, hands clasped.

"Cat – you don't have to come today," Tori said softly. "It's going to be a really long day. Maybe you can –"

"I'm going with you," Cat said firmly, sitting down at the table and eating her own pastry.

"She'll be fine." Jade promised, her hand landing softly on Tori's shoulder. She accepted a small bowl of fruit from Beck and sat between Cat and Tori to eat it. They arrived at the court house and were allowed into a private waiting room, along with the families of the two women who were killed. The mother of Madison Watkins, the girl who had escaped, and led the police back to the house, saw Tori and burst into tears.

Madison had made it out – but had died less than twenty four hours later from injuries she'd sustained. But she had been surrounded by her family – and for that she (and her family) had found the strength to be thankful. "She died in peace," the woman said through her tears, "when she knew you made it out alive. Thank you for speaking when she can't." Tori didn't know what to say, so she nodded and allowed the woman to hug her tightly. Jade's hand remained lightly on her back, reminding her not to panic. Eventually the woman let go and her husband led her to a seat across the room.

"You just helped that woman," Jade told her in a whisper. "You did good."

"Could you try to stop anyone else from hugging me?" Tori responded shakily. "I think that was my quota." The joking did little to hide her fear. She sat in a nearby chair and Jade sat next to her.

"We'll put Beck on it," she promised. He appeared just then, a smile on his lips.

"Why do you look so happy?" Jade asked him. He stooped down so he could whisper to Jade and Tori.

"I just talked to the DA. After your testimony last week, his lawyer tried to recuse himself from the case. The judge wouldn't allow it so close to the trial – and wouldn't allow a continuance for a new defense attorney to take the case. I think it's safe to say that his heart is not in this defense."

"Everyone should get a defense," Tori told him. Beck looked at her in surprise that fell to a gloomy sort of warning.

"We are not talking general politics here. That monster doesn't deserve anything, as far as I'm concerned," Beck told her. "This is a good thing. The fewer people out to poke holes in your testimony, the more comfortable I happen to be."

"I know," Tori responded softly.

Eleven months to the day after Tori had been found alive; the trial began for the monster who had tortured her for three years. The man had, in essence, taken away the life of a 19 year old girl. No matter the hours she put into therapy, Tori would never be the giggly, happy teenager who had been snatched off a college campus. Hands trembling but chin held high, she walked into the court room surrounded by her friends and sat in the front row behind the district attorney. Andre sat to one side, Jade to the other. They held her as a side door opened and her captor walked into the room, smiling wryly inside a new blue suit. Tori swallowed the bile rising in her throat and leaned heavily against Jade, reminding herself to breath.

"He cannot touch you," Beck promised, leaning over Jade to whisper the reassuring words into her ear. The trial went for the entire week and was an absolute blur. Police men testified to how they'd found the house – and Tori. EMTs, Emergency Room personnel. Dr. Garrett, Dr. Greeley, Clare – mostly every doctor or therapist Tori had dealt with over the months. They detailed the trauma he'd caused in three years. It was odd to hear herself being talked about in such professional, medical, and aloof terms. If she didn't know better – they could be talking about a stranger. They spoke in codes – medical terms that were long and complicated.

It wasn't until Wednesday that Tori's testimony was played for the court. She sat stock-still in her seat as it was played, her hands grasping Jade and Beck as she closed her eyes and listened to her own voice. She couldn't see the jury's reaction to her story, but she could hear it. Beck told her later that even some of the men were crying. On Thursday morning, after her testimony had been heard, the defense called her to the stand for cross examination. She was sworn in and sat in the witness stand, doing her best to avoid the courtroom of eyes on her.

"Ms. Vega," the man said to her, "can you explain why your testimony was taped when you are clearly well enough to be here in person."

"I have an anxiety and panic disorder," Tori said simply. "I didn't know how much I could say in front of everyone." Her voice was soft and fragile – the entire courtroom hated the defense attorney for merely making her speak.

"Is there a reason you're not looking at me, Ms. Vega?"

"You're standing next to a man who kept me tied to a bed and raped me for three years," Tori answered, still looking toward the ceiling."

"Objection," he said.

"Overruled," the judge stated. "Ms. Vega, you're under no obligation to look at Mr. Kennedy. Feel free to address your comments to me or the jury." She nodded, allow her eyes to fall slightly so they skimmed the top of the crowd – but no faces. She couldn't handle those pitying expressions.

"Ms. Vega – are you certain that it was Mr. Kennedy who attacked you?"

"Yes."

"Without looking at Mr. Kennedy, could you describe him for me?" Tori felt bile rising in her throat as she pictured his face. She described him, her eyes still focused on the top of the courtroom walls. She described him perfectly, until the defense attorney asked her the color of his eyes.

"I don't k-k-know." It was the first time she'd stuttered in weeks.

"How can you not know? A man you say raped you every night for three years? You've said yourself you weren't blindfolded – how could you not see his eyes?"

"They're hollow," Tori cried. "It doesn't matter what color they are. All I saw when I looked at his eyes – was evil."

"Objection—"

"Overruled," the judge responded. "Any further questions?"

"Not at this time," the defense attorney said, taking his seat.

"Ms. Vega, you're free to go back to your seat," the judge told her. Tori moved toward the stairs that led up to the witness stand and fell – her knees had been too weak to support her. She found herself faced with the ridiculously large bailiff, who was trying to help her. She was trying to refuse his help, not panic, and ask him to move away – all at the same time.

Jade ignored courtroom protocol and was at her side quickly, asked the bailiff in a soft voice to kindly unhand Tori and step away. He did, finally understanding his close proximity was not helping her panic. Jade took Tori's face between her hands and forced her eyes to lift and focus.

"You are fine. Take a deep breath." Tori did – and several more after Jade's continuing prompts. The judge was watching them from her bench and the rest of the courtroom was frozen. "We are going to stand up and walk back to our seats, okay?" Tori nodded. Jade stood and pulled Tori after her. They walked carefully back to their seats and sat. Jade dug in her purse for a bottle of water and a Klonopin pill while the judge ordered the trial to continue. Tori took the pill gratefully and lay against Beck; she didn't care how it looked – she was exhausted.

After five days of testimony, both sides rested and the judge gave her ordered to the jurors. They began deliberating on Monday morning at 8am. Everyone was called back to the courtroom by noon. The gathered crowd watched as the judge read the verdict and returned it to the jury foreperson.

The foreperson stood and read the verdict to the courtroom.

"For the death of Madison Watkins, the jury finds the defendant guilty of first degree murder." A murmur of approval sounded across the courtroom but was hushed with one raised hand from the judge. He continued. "For the death of Alison Barker, the jury finds the defendant guilty of first degree murder. For the kidnapping, torture, and attempted murder of Victoria Vega, the jury finds the defendant guilty." The murmurs became louder as family members hugged and sobbed. Tori fell, exhausted, against Jade and accepted her embrace. Andre and Beck both laid hands on her back and Cat squealed with happiness. The judge hit his gavel and the courtroom again became silent.

"The court will adjourn for today. Tomorrow at 9am, I will hear from any victims or friends and family of victims before I make my ruling on sentencing."

"It's almost dinner time – do you want to go out to eat – maybe a little celebration?" Beck asked, his arm falling around Tori's shoulder.

"I'm really tired," Tori said softly. "I'd like to go home."

"Sounds good," Beck answered. "We'll order in a pizza." All of the friends went back to the Oliver home but Tori went directly to her bedroom. Isabelle Greeley, who had been in full attendance through the trial, followed her, motioning for Jade to stay where she was. Tori was struggling with her necklace when Isabelle knocked on her bedroom door.

"Come in," she said. Isabelle smiled when she opened it and entered just a few feet to sit in an armchair near the fireplace.

"Tori, are you alright?"

"I'm dandy," Tori said dryly. "He's at least going to jail for the rest of his life, why shouldn't I be happy?" She tugged at the necklace again and Isabelle crossed the room to unhook it for her. Tori dropped it on the dresser and sat at her vanity to remove her shoes and pantyhose.

"You don't have to be happy," Isabelle promised her. "There is no rhyme or reason to this type of healing process. You're not a vengeful person – seeing him pay for his crimes isn't necessarily going to give you the closure it might give to someone else."

"So how do I get it?" Tori asked, her eyes welling with tears. She crumpled to the floor, not caring about the carefully pressed dress pants or silk blouse she was currently wearing. Isabelle knelt at her side and put a firm hand on her shoulder.

"I wish I had all of the answers for you. But you are a strong, kind, beautiful young lady. And you are going to get there. I can promise you that." Tori felt her leave and be quickly replaced by a smaller, warmer presence. Two smaller, warmer presences. Cat and Jade sat next to her on the carpet, hugging her from both sides.

"It's okay, Tori," Cat said in her typical sing-song voice, "he can't hurt anyone else now."

"It may not take back what he did to you," Jade said softly, brushing hair from her eyes. "But you surviving – and testifying against him – it's the reason he'll never hurt anyone else again. You made sure of that. And that means something." Tori nodded against Jade's shoulder, allowing herself to be lost in the arms of her two best friends. By the time the pizza had arrived and Andre had helped Beck figure out the puzzle of preparing a salad, the three girls had changed into jeans and found their way to the kitchen. Tori stopped in her tracks when she caught sight of Trina standing in the middle of the kitchen, looking incredibly uncomfortable.

Before Jade could kick her out, Trina put up a hand, signaling that she hadn't come to cause trouble. "Tori," Trina said to her sister. "I want to apologize. I know I've been a terrible sister. And there's nothing I can do to change that. But I am sorry. And I'm sorry for everything you went through – I can't imagine – well, I just can't imagine. It doesn't make up for anything – but I want you to have this. It should have been yours to begin with." Trina handed her an envelope and headed for the front door. Tori opened it to find a bank-certified check for over a million dollars – her portion of life insurance from her parents and the sale of the house. Tori looked at Jade, who shook her head slightly.

"It's up to you," Jade said simply.

"Trina," Tori called, walking quickly toward the front of the house. The physical therapy was paying off; she got there before Trina left. "Stay for dinner," she said, pleadingly.

"I'm pretty sure I'm not welcome," Trina said, clearly imagining any length of time with Jade.

"I already asked," Tori assured her. "Please stay." Trina had been in attendance throughout the entire trial – everyone had seen her, save Tori – who had more important things in mind. It didn't make up for her ridiculous behavior, but it kept Beck, Andre, and Jade from bodily removing her from the house. If Tori wanted to give her annoying sister yet another chance, well – they would support her. It didn't mean they had to be nice; Jade took that particular caveat to heart.

Conversation flowed rather easily as they all talked about Beck's movies, Cat's movie, and Andre's music career. No one mentioned the fact that Jade hadn't been on a stage or in a recording studio in almost a year. Finally, someone spoke to Trina. To her terror, it was Jade.

"I hear your show's been nominated for several Tony Awards," Jade said between sips of her wine. Trina nodded. She had choreographed a show that was up for best musical. "It's nice you found something you don't suck at," she said, smirking brightly.

"Thanks Jade," Trina answered. "Coming from you, that's a real compliment." Despite the stress of the past weeks and the presence of Trina, the evening ended rather well.

Trina tried to hug her sister, to which Tori gave her a light, "next time." She was still feeling rather exhausted and she didn't want to be touched right then. Trina nodded; she was trying her best to understand. She told Tori where she was staying and let Andre walked her to her rental car.

The next morning, Jade and Tori were both scheduled to speak. At the last minute, Jade decided to step back and allow Tori to do it herself. If she missed anything, Jade would follow her and make sure it was heard. The courtroom was quiet as Tori walked to the microphone to speak. The other families had spoken for their daughters; it was her turn to speak up for herself.

"I graduated at the top of my class from Hollywood Arts High School in LA," Tori said softly. "I was in my third semester of college when I was kidnapped by Lyle Kennedy and tied to a bed for the next three years. You've seen the pictures," she said slowly, clearly trying to keep her emotions in check, "so I'm not going to go into those details. But I'd like to tell you how my life has changed because of the actions of Mr. Kennedy." She took a deep breath and looked at the piece of paper in front of her.

"In the year since I was rescued from Mr. Kennedy's house, I have had over 1400 appointments with doctors, therapists, psychologists, and other people that I didn't even know existed until this happened. I still walk with a pronounced limp due to leg bones he broke. I have scars all over my body that will never go away. I can't close my eyes at night without being afraid. And when I wake up in the morning, I struggle to remember that I'm safe. I've had very few times where I can sleep through the night without nightmares or night terrors. Because of the violent rape he imposed on me daily, and the abortion he performed himself, I will never be able to have my own family. From the mental and emotional torture, it is unlikely I'll ever be able to live on my own. My dreams of being a singer are stunted because I can't stand on stage for more than a few minutes at a time. There is no portion of my life that has not been shattered because of the demented mind and actions of Lyle Kennedy. If Madison hadn't been brave enough – and strong enough – to fight her way out of this house, I know in my heart that I would be dead – and there would be another girl to take my place in his sick games. I am not the type of person who seeks revenge. I will not ask you to necessarily rule in favor of the death penalty. But I will ask you to give Mr. Kennedy the same amount of leniency he gave to me and his other victims."

Lyle Kennedy was sentenced to life with no chance of parole.

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Thanks so much for reading. Please review and let me know your thoughts.


	20. Epilogue The Life In Your Years

The epilogue is ridiculously short, so I posted it right along with the last chapter. Although it is short, I thought it wrapped things up nicely… for now.

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Epilogue – The Life in Your Years

It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

~Abraham Lincoln

Jade found Tori sitting on the back veranda, looking out into the freshly cut back yard. Sitting on the lounge chair next to the other brunette, Jade relaxed against the soft cushions and listened as the birds sang in the nearby dogwood trees. It was a magnificent day; as pretty as a California day could get. The sky was a bright azure; the minimal clouds a fluffy white. Jade had been cleaning out the refrigerator. She refused to allow the maid to touch anything in the kitchen or pantry; so it was her job. Three weeks had passed since the trial. Jade was recording her third album and writing her fourth, Beck was working on his second feature film, and Tori had been busy between piano classes and vocal classes. Her range wasn't as impressive as it had been in high school, but it was getting better every day.

"Have you given any thought to what we talked about last week?" Jade asked after twenty minutes of comfortable silence.

"It's all I've thought about," Tori said, turning her face to Jade.

"There's no pressure," Jade reminded her. "You just need to know you have options." Tori knew she had options. She had a lot of them at that point. Major publishing companies wanted to publish a book about her captivity, Jade's recording label wanted to put out her first album, Lifetime wanted to make a movie about her. Trina wanted her to move to New York to get a fresh start. Andre wanted her to move in with him and start performing again. Beck and Jade suggested she stay with them and go back to college. She had enough money to move into her own home. Her parents' home was for sale and she considered buying it, but the one visit with the relator had left her emotionally exhausted. She couldn't imagine living there alone; she would always be expecting her family members to be walking in at any moment.

Jade and Beck had made her open a bank account and deposit the money and then took her to meet with a financial manager to plan her investments. In the meantime, they refused to allow her to pay for anything – rent, food, entertainment. Jade would scowl and Beck would shake his head and smile.

"I never thought I would be saying this, Tori," Jade said, staring into the brilliant day, "but we both want you to stay. I know you're physically well enough to go on your own – but you don't have to. Unless you want to, in which case – we'll help however we can."

Tori knew she couldn't live with Jade and Beck forever. But she wasn't ready to be alone. And she wasn't ready for the type of commitment Andre would expect – and she certainly wasn't prepared to deal with Trina on a daily basis. The least stressful option – the one that left her feeling peaceful – was with a woman she had once considered to be her greatest foe.

"I'll stay on one condition," Tori said, smiling brightly.

"What's that?"

"I want to be there when the baby is born." Jade's eyes flew wide and she was speechless for a solid minute.

"How did you know? I haven't even told Beck."

"You vomit loudly," Tori answered. "And I'm right next door – but I should probably move up to the third floor so the baby can have that room." Jade shook her head and turned to face away, but Tori could see she was smiling.

"We'd better keep you around in case I screw the thing up."

"You won't," Tori answered happily. "I have faith in you, Jade Oliver West."


	21. New Sequel - The Most She Ever Knew

Those of you who follow the stories but not me as an author – I wanted to let you know that the first chapter of a new story is uploaded. It is the fourth in the series and is titled "The Most She Ever Knew."

Synopsis:

Tori survived years at the hands of a sadistic madman. Jade lived through her mother's reign of unbelievable terror. They're adults – they have productive lives. They're even happy. What happens when their past experiences intertwine and give them the needed courage to save another life?

Take a look and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!


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